Who do I contact when a crisis happens

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by bdmid, Aug 28, 2015.

  1. bdmid

    bdmid Registered User

    Dec 4, 2013
    27
    Female
    Bristol
    I have only posted a few times, a quick recap it's almost 4yrs since my 91yr old mums diagnosis of vascular/mixed dementia with frontal lobe. An assisted living placement did not work out, so had to return home. she has been deemed to not have capacity to make decisions. I do everything, preparation of meals, shopping, cleaning, bathing laundry, the lot. Mum tho believes she does all this herself,she flatly refuses any extra help,again believes she does not need any. The tears and tantrums are a daily occurrence now sometimes going on all day. Today's panic that got her so upset and angry because I had put the washing machine on a longer hotter wash as she had not let me change her bed for over a month! You would have thought it was the end of the world my brother helps out when he can, but he is in his 70s and now on holiday. I feel so ragged lately as I do believe a crisis is about to happen, and I don't know what to do when it does happen I was on the verge of calling an ambulance today as I could do nothing with her at all, but the mention of that brought her round, where do I stand if she refused to go in an ambulance, can I insist as I don't think I can cope much longer. My poor husband has put up with a lot but it is getting to the stage that my marriage could be in crisis too. I have pretty much hit a brick wall and don't know where to go next. The GP just advises she would be best in a residential home and I do now agree with him :mad:but it's not going to be easy to manage as,it will be under protest. Apologies for the rant, I need some feedback please.:mad:
     
  2. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    58,713
    Female
    Dundee
    I think you're at crisis point already.

    Please phone the Social Services dept and tell them that you're at the stage of carer breakdown and need some help as a matter of urgency. Tell them that your mum us a vulnerable adult and that you have reached the stage where you can't cope.

    The National Dementia help line is open until 5pm today. It might be a good idea to phone them now for some advice.

    http://www.alzheimers.org.uk/site/s...D=200365&_ga=1.27863612.1265873382.1429178343

    0300 222 1122
     
  3. Pattywicklow

    Pattywicklow Registered User

    Mar 15, 2015
    11
    I would also throw in there that you don't know what you will do either to yourself or your mother and your marriage is breaking down, squeeze out a few tears if u can they need to think I are completely at the end of tether.


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  4. blueboy

    blueboy Registered User

    Feb 21, 2015
    126
    I had much the same with my Mum and eventually had to take her to hospital on a Sunday night after calling NHS 24. Try not to let things get to that stage - call in Social Services help now - Mum now has carers and things are so much better.
     
  5. bdmid

    bdmid Registered User

    Dec 4, 2013
    27
    Female
    Bristol
    Thank you all for your help and comments, it's so good to be able to let off steam and ask for help from those who know how it feels, If only mums would accept carers to help with the load, but reality doesn't apply here. I will contact social services and keep you updated how I get on, thanks all once again
     

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