Who do I ask....

[smudge54]

As you all know when your Mum is in hospital there are people to ask advice. Really my question is who do speak to about issues such as her using a small case key, sometimes getting jammed in lock, unable to open door and then getting confused. Mainly in case if emergency she is trapped there. This is probably common but Mum appears to plug micro wave up to pre heat like a normal oven and then fret when its still cold. I printed out explicite instructions on each meal pack but to no avail. We have though about meals on wheels but again Mum is like an alarm clock so if her dinner is no on the table at exact same time she will get a sandwich and then meals paid for will get thrown away.

She has carers 3xday and a carer cleaning once a week. Some carers are fine and do whats needed but one each time I see her she says `it waste of my time being here 45 mins, she wont let me do anything, your Mum do not talk to me (VD does affect the ability to converse at times, she happier doing her crosswords) She said she will suggest to carers head office to reduce the amount of time spent with Mum. The carers only empty Mums kitchen bin once week on cleaning day, the other time mUM has took full bag out and left it on the floor ready to trip over it. With her being in upstairs flat and very frail does not use stairs very often. I have noticed Mum wears same clothes all the time and when she does change clothes they go back in wardrobe not in washing basket. So for 4 weeks clothes have not bee washing Mum just handwashes underwear. The more caring carers say that they cannot force her to change clothes and they are supposed to be checking bed to see if it `wet`.

Sorry for rambling but questions are do i speak with head office or social services about the care package and do i speak with head office about individual staff members?

Secondly which so called professional do i speak with over concerns on Mums concerning habits?

 

[jan.s]

Hi Smudge
I am sorry to read about your mum. It is so worrying when they do irrational things.

My first stop would be social services and see what they say.

Jan

 

[Grannie G]

Hello smudge

Your mother sounds as if she needs much more help than she is getting.

I would speak to her doctor about your concerns for her increased confusion and Social Services about a need for more home care.

 

[JackMac]

hello.
as others have said, you need to ask social services to come in. And you need to sress that any carers that come and help are experienced with dementia. our experience of social services is that they are not trained in dementia and lack knowledge and empathy for this condition. if you find the same thing it might also be worth asking the CPN to ask their social workers to get involved.
jackmac

 

[smudge54]

Thank you

Hi

ive just read your posts, just about to visit Mum, I will ring social services as well

Right to get shoes and walk across

 

[SWMBO1950]

One of my mums carers duties it to make sure she has clean clothes on each day. There are ways of doing this without forcing her.

The ridiculous thing is the training is 'not for force the caree to do anything they dont want to do' but if they have dementia (whatever type) they are often unable to make simple choices for themselves!!!!!!

Things are in place perfectly for my mum but she now has a new carer (1 of 3) so I am inventing the wheel again!!

As others have said contact SS if they are who she gets her care from.

Best Wishes

As you all know when your Mum is in hospital there are people to ask advice. Really my question is who do speak to about issues such as her using a small case key, sometimes getting jammed in lock, unable to open door and then getting confused. Mainly in case if emergency she is trapped there. This is probably common but Mum appears to plug micro wave up to pre heat like a normal oven and then fret when its still cold. I printed out explicite instructions on each meal pack but to no avail. We have though about meals on wheels but again Mum is like an alarm clock so if her dinner is no on the table at exact same time she will get a sandwich and then meals paid for will get thrown away.

She has carers 3xday and a carer cleaning once a week. Some carers are fine and do whats needed but one each time I see her she says `it waste of my time being here 45 mins, she wont let me do anything, your Mum do not talk to me (VD does affect the ability to converse at times, she happier doing her crosswords) She said she will suggest to carers head office to reduce the amount of time spent with Mum. The carers only empty Mums kitchen bin once week on cleaning day, the other time mUM has took full bag out and left it on the floor ready to trip over it. With her being in upstairs flat and very frail does not use stairs very often. I have noticed Mum wears same clothes all the time and when she does change clothes they go back in wardrobe not in washing basket. So for 4 weeks clothes have not bee washing Mum just handwashes underwear. The more caring carers say that they cannot force her to change clothes and they are supposed to be checking bed to see if it `wet`.

Sorry for rambling but questions are do i speak with head office or social services about the care package and do i speak with head office about individual staff members?

Secondly which so called professional do i speak with over concerns on Mums concerning habits?

 

[jeany123]

One of my mums carers duties it to make sure she has clean clothes on each day. There are ways of doing this without forcing her.

The ridiculous thing is the training is 'not for force the caree to do anything they dont want to do' but if they have dementia (whatever type) they are often unable to make simple choices for themselves!!!!!!

Things are in place perfectly for my mum but she now has a new carer (1 of 3) so I am inventing the wheel again!!

As others have said contact SS if they are who she gets her care from.

Best Wishes

I would have thought there would be ways of getting them to change clothes ,my husband has twice been in respite once for 4 days and once for a week and both times he has come home in the clothes he went in,,they say they can't make him get changed if he doesn't want to ,why they ask i will never understand, surely saying come on get clean clothes on isn't too difficult and I am sure if they were a bit assertive he would just do it

 

[Witzend]

I would have thought there would be ways of getting them to change clothes ,my husband has twice been in respite once for 4 days and once for a week and both times he has come home in the clothes he went in,,they say they can't make him get changed if he doesn't want to ,why they ask i will never understand, surely saying come on get clean clothes on isn't too difficult and I am sure if they were a bit assertive he would just do it

Easy get-out for them, isn't it? Saves them having to bother.

My mother was a devil for washing/changing clothes at home, yet at the CH she is almost always clean, nice hair, nicely dressed. So it's certainly possible if they can be bothered. Though my mother's CH is a specialist dementia, which may make a difference.
Stands to reason, if your practice was to ask a CH full of people with dementia whether they wanted to have a shower/change their clothes, they'd almost certainly all say no and you'd have a CH full of filthy, smelly people.
So staff don't have much choice but to just get on with it.