Who am I now?

[truth24]

Can't see anything offensive in your post. It says what we must all think when the time comes. Take care of yourself, You too Helen.

Sent from my GT-N5110

 

[LYN T]

Saffie-nothing offensive noted You were being honest. This is the place to admit our feelings.

Gringo-you feel as I do. Hugs to you

Dear Helen-you are, and always have been, a caring and lovely wife to Tom. You fight for him every step of the way-at home and in the CH.You have been married for so many years and that marriage is binding you together still. Why wouldn't it? Of course it's difficult to think of yourself as being an individual whose time is her own. However, you have made a good start Helen; those little steps that you are taking will, with time, become big strides.

I hope that you enjoy your break-and the weather is better than it is in Dorset

Love from

Lyn T

 

[Helen33]

I was still able to care for him in a way. A different way, but still I cared. Now even that has been taken away. /QUOTE]

Dear Saffie,

Yes, it has been taken away . The whole thing is terribly sad and lonely. What helped me was my mum told me just before her death "there's nothing you can do for the dead but if you want to do something for them, then look after the living". You are the living Saffie.

When I became ill, one of the first things I decided was that I was going to look after myself as I looked after Alan.

It is all so soon and you are more than likely to feel lost and alone with no sense of purpose. You will find your way Saffie. Allow yourself time. If you feel really, really stuck and alone then maybe you might think about reaching out to people who are able to help. They are out there.

Sending much love and a warm (hug)

 

[Saffie]

Thank you Helen. You always speak such sense.
I hope you are well. x

I'm sorry other Helen, this thread is about you, not me, so as I said, I'll reserve such comments to my own thread in future.
That is apart from saying that that is a really miserable bank holiday here and hope that this cold, rainy day isn't quite as bad with you!

 

[Helen33]

Oh dear I am sorry Helen for posting to Saffie on your thread. I am not thinking clearly today. Im sure you have other, more important concerns though.

I can sympathise and empathise in some small way what you may be going through. Mothers often wonder who they are when all their chicks fly the nest. I know it's not the same but there are some similarities in that each mother may find their way in very different ways to others.

When our loved ones have gone into being cared for elsewhere, there is still a strong tie because ultimately one still holds full responsibility for that person. One might just begin to forge out a kind of life and then it all changes again as the loved one becomes ill or passes away eeeeek. Where you are at the present time is 'temporary' and so your choices as to what to do with your life have great limitations. This can be seen as 'positive' because there is a valid reason for not taking enormous steps. You are doing well. You have friends. True, good friends. You have founded relationships again with some of your family. You go to the caravan. You go on holiday. There are many people who might not have taken these steps. They are brave steps and are safe enough for you to try out this life without the daily presence of Tom.

Love and a (hug)

 

[di65]

So what does a practical, down to Earther do? Put the cream on the back of a long handled bath brush? tried it, not really effective, put the cream on a plastic carrier bag, then try to dangle it down your back, grab hold with the other hand and pull it back and forth, hoping you get the cream on the bit that hurts? Did you know that some creams remove the coloured advertisment from carrier bags? so use a plain bag or you might end up with 'ASDA', or 'SAINSBURY'S' emblazoned accross your back.

My husband is still at home, but has trouble following my instructions on where I need ointment put, so I solved this problem by putting the ointment on a sponge which I attached to a door edge with a bit of double sided tape. I then rubbed my back on it (a bit like ridding yourself of an itch), A bit more wasteful with the ointment - but effective

 

[Scarlett123]

My husband is still at home, but has trouble following my instructions on where I need ointment put, so I solved this problem by putting the ointment on a sponge which I attached to a door edge with a bit of double sided tape. I then rubbed my back on it (a bit like ridding yourself of an itch), A bit more wasteful with the ointment - but effective

My goodness, I am so full of admiration for your inventiveness! I would never have thought of doing that. TP-ers are sooooooooooo resourceful.

 

[nellbelles]

Ok..

Bossy head on here, will everyone stop apologising!

I welcome all posts and all comments, this is TP..

So all of your keep posting your thoughts and comments, I need to hear what you have to contribute..

So no more saying sorry!

 

[di65]

SORRY - We'll stop being sorry

 

[nellbelles]

SORRY - We'll stop being sorry

Good!!

 

[Izzy]

Helens long handled cream applicator thingy arrived today! I'll try it out tomorrow. x


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