My Mum has seemed to have had a deterioration with her Dementia recently She keeps thinking my Dad is her Carer The carer looks like my dad and must be his twin she says but anything she doesn’t like doing or which upsets her is the carers fault ( we don’t have carers in the house and never have) she says the carer or carers are mean to her. She says when my birth dad (as she’d often calls my dad or other other dad ) comes back he will look after her and sack the carers She talks to them whilst dad and I are in the room. She asks use what shift they are on? She worked as a carer for adults with learning disabilities before she retired. She says she needs to give up work even though the money would be helpful - they are ok financially She told my sister in law today over the phone that she had done a double shift and was tired out but in reality had had a restful day She mostly knows who I am but my brother who lives a few hundred miles away she gets confused with sometimes She can’t remember my dad is her husband at times and says I must be adopted sonetimes She thinks my dad is her dad and doesn’t know my dad is her husband My Mum ‘sees’ her parents and sister (now passed away) and she wants to speak to them on the phone or ask them to come for tea, we sidetrack with responses but she gets aggressive if we don’t give the phone numbers to her and as there isn’t a phone number for them and the deflective responses don’t satisfy her she keeps on until we have to tell her the truth and then she grieves again We try and change the subject or do something to alter her mind set but she is so tunnel vision We have taken to going along with her vision of reality but it is very warming on my dad If she gets gets anxious she says her dad will sort it out and she cries all the time for no reason - she says it comes over her in waves and she needs to cry to get it out of her system but she doesn’t know what she wants to get out of her system She seems to have deteriorated since Christmas and Dad is saying he can’t cope with it all and she needs to go in a home but I know she is demanding and scared, anxious and frightened but I feel she is not at that point yet On her good days or should I say good hours ( very few now) she is lovely and back to my lovely Mum She is very unsteady on her feet and is dizzy and says her head is full of cotton wool and when she thinks of anything there is just a hole or words and things disappear in that hole Does anyone have similar issues with a person with dementia and any advise on coping strategies ?