Which help do you find most useful?

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by Scoop, Jan 31, 2008.

  1. Scoop

    Scoop Registered User

    Nov 20, 2006
    Evening all... tough few days at this end... doesn't seem to let up!:(

    Anyway we have clearly reached the point that we need more outside help, we look to have the offer of a day a week out for dad as long as Mum agrees - she will ;). I am going to speak to the CPN about other help available but what I wondered is what help others here get and what you rate as the most beneficial to you as a carer?


  2. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    For me it was AZ day centre, My mother did not like it at first , but when she released that they was so much activity going on , she enjoyed it .

    It really did help me , free up some time for myself as I had been caring for 2 years without outside help . So it felt strange having time to myself that I did not know what to do :rolleyes:

    That sounds good . would someone take your father out for the day ?

    My mother mobility was getting bad so they could not offer me that .
  3. Scoop

    Scoop Registered User

    Nov 20, 2006
    The care centre would come and pick him up, look after him for the day and bring him home, almost sounds too good to be true, Mum is reluctant but I reckon once it happens she'll feel the benefit - or at least I hope so!

    Not found out yet what he would be up too, should know very soon

  4. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    One thing that occurs to me Scott - whatever is offered it should be done on a regular reliable basis. I think it's important for all concerned to have a routine, and a lot less stress for the carer to know e.g. Tuesday from 9 - 4 my times my own, rather than a more fluid arrangement.
  5. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #5 Margarita, Jan 31, 2008
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2008
    That what they do for my mother

    Its true the services are out they , Just that people have to ask for it .

    Just tell her to try it out , No harm in trying , she can see how your father gets on they. Then go from they....


    My mother go to Az day centre , Social services , both other loads of activities , SS one even had a theater group coming in for the day , at the AZ day centre they even offer hairdressing , bingo loads of other think that keep her motivated , so stop her Napping . They groups of them , where at home with me they only me to motivate her .

    Then I find when all child are around , mum more awake does not sleep so much , So that why group activities is good for people with dementia , because as the disease progresses they need a lot of simulation as they lose that ability in they mind to do it themselves .

    people think its because they bored , but its not they just lose ability in they mind to do it themselves.

    so sending mum to day center is not only helping me , but helping her till the disease take full control of her brain .
  6. alfjess

    alfjess Registered User

    Jul 10, 2006
    south lanarkshire

    I also found that day centre was the most helpful.

    The days when Mum and Dad refused to go, my heart would sink to my feet

    When Mum and Dad were at day centre I knew they were being looked after, fed and hopefully maybe, enjoyed themselves.

    It freed up time when I could get other things done.

    A good home carer is worth their weight in gold, but unfortunately they are few and far between. I don't think it is because they don't care. it is just they have a tight schedule.

    Hope you get the care that helps
  7. lesmisralbles

    lesmisralbles Account Closed

    Nov 23, 2007
    Can I ask, How do we pay for day care

    How do we pay for day care.
    One day a week would help. I never thought I would ask, been doing it on my own untill now.
    Thanks Barb
  8. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Barb,
    If you do not have a Social Worker by going to your Doctor who would set the wheels in motion.
    Best wishes
  9. Claire

    Claire Registered User

    Mar 31, 2004
    I also found the most valuable help we had before mum went into a care home was the day centre. She went to a centre operated by social services. It didn't take very long before she really loved it - looking out for her bus every day. We were lucky to have a daily place, as I needed to work full time, and it was a huge weight off my shoulders. Prior to her going I was frequently called home (over 20 miles from work), as she had begun to wander. During the time she attended they had a canal cruise, trips out in the minibus, a pub lunch and a Christmas meal. The costs of her place were covered by her Attendance Allowance.

    Take care

  10. Clive

    Clive Registered User

    Nov 7, 2004
    One of the best helps I got for mum followed a chat with the local Alzheimer Society office when I explained to them that mum would not go to the day centre. They very unexpectedly came out and introduced mum to an ordinary over 60s club. (Mum was 88 with moderate AD. I would never have thought about her going to an ordinary club).

    There was only one other member with AD at the club which was a complete cross section of society. The club sent a volunteer to collect mum, and another volunteer was her “friend” during the afternoon meeting which lasted a couple of hours plus a further half hour to get there and back. Mum decided it was a “church ladies meeting” and was absolutely thrilled to go. The subs were about a £1 a week to cover the tea and biscuits.

    The big spin off included full days out with the club once a month and a volunteer popping in to mum’s house once a fortnight for a couple of hours for “afternoon tea”.

    What I am trying to say is that some of the best help for my mum came in a very unexpected way.

  11. Scoop

    Scoop Registered User

    Nov 20, 2006
    I shall be definatley encouraging Mum to take up the offer, My wife was also talking to one of her friends who happens to be a local communtiy Nurse, she said that the people that go usually enjoy it, the ones that struggle to adjust to the change are the carers... handing over the care to someone outside the family etc...

    Our CPN has been sick this week so I'll follow it up next week, thanks for the input all it's been very helpful!

  12. Margarita

    Margarita Registered User

    Feb 17, 2006
    #12 Margarita, Feb 1, 2008
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2008
    Wow that Good , how long ago was that ?

    Mum pays £ 7:50 a day to cover driver and Dinner , which is good really considering its charity run she go they 2 days a week , Mum go 10 am / 3pm

    social services day center is £ 3: 50 a day to cover food , 3 days a week 10/ 4pm

    AZ send an invoice each mouth which I pay cash or Chq .

    Social services done the referral to AZ day centre , she went on a waiting list, then day center staff came out to introduce themselves to her .

    Social service day center came much later , after I wanted more days , but AZ day center was very full so had no more days to give to mum.
  13. dedicated doe

    dedicated doe Registered User

    Aug 24, 2007
    wirral merseyside
    day centre care

    HI There,talking of day centres just thought i would tell you about Daves,because he is under 60 and was diagnosed with vas/dem late last year i did not have any idea what to do so luckily our CPN put the wheels in motion,but the only centre that had a place was one of the Help The Aged,although Dave is the youngest there and the conditions of Alz/Dem vary in the clients the staff are wonderful and he does enjoy going there,he has three full days a week and they send me an invoice every month for meals and drinks etc which work out about £48 monthly,which is good because i know he is getting looked after and i can have a few hours to sort things out at home,at the moment i take him myself and pick him up as we are waiting for a place on the bus service they provide,hope you do not mind my little bit of info.God Bless D.Doe. x

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