Where to turn for help as things progress

[LucyHP]

Hi, I've posted a couple of times and am so grateful for all the comments and support - so I have a question and I thought I'd try my luck on here...

Dad, 80, living alone, dementia diagnosis Jan '17, my sister and I live very close and doing everything we can...

Before his diagnosis Dad had high BP and was on medication. Since diagnosis his BP meds have been increased once. Then at a recent dementia nurse appointment his BP was seriously high so we went to the GP and she prescribed him a new BP tablet to take in addition to his existing 2. He's been taking these new meds for a week. However he is starting to get more affected by various dementia related problems - and yesterday decided to stop taking 2 of his 3 BP tablets because he thinks that's what is making him feel bad - not the dementia. He won't accept he has dementia and that is causing how he is feeling... I understand that's common, along with the inability to reason with him - he had always been stubborn and is adamant he will not take these tablets even if the GP or pharmacist tells him otherwise....

So, who do we turn to to help us coax him/ensure he takes these tablets?

Do we try the GP? Pharmacist? Dementia team at local hospital? A dementia organisation? Adult social services? He's refusing any help but his latest thing at mine for dinner on Sunday was that he just sat there not eating cos he was struggling to process what he had to do to feed himself. My heart breaks at this but he is convinced his next brain scan next week will flag something up, he'll have a brain operation and be 100% better again.

Just a bit clueless who to turn to to help us along this unknown, tragic journey...

Thanks in advance for any advice xxx

 

[Shedrech]

hi LucyHP
it sounds as though you are in that middling stage with your dad where it is pretty tricky to help him - being unco-operative, saying no, is pretty much a default position
I'd let his GP and consultant know about what your dad is saying and doing - it may be possible to tweak the meds so he isn't taking so many tablets, and ask which are the most important, so you or a carer can pick your battles - how vital are the meds? I appreciate high blood pressure isn't positive but does your dad need to take the meds to function - and can you fib as to what they are for, so he thinks they are to help something physical he is bothered about eg an aching knee - whether he will take any account of what the medics say to him, or remember it, is another matter
you can't force someone to take meds but you might get sneaky and hide them in spoon of yogurt or something your dad will eat without question - but again check with the medics whether meds can be crushed or given as a liquid, so maybe hidden in drinks
this does rely on someone being with your dad when meds are due - is it time to have home care visits to help with meals and meds - dad too lost the process of eating and had to have someone eat with him to copy and to prompt him (oddly he generally has fewer problems years later, but when he doesn't know what to do now, he has to be fed) - though you do say he is resistant to having help, it may be worth a try - he has the right to an assessment of his care needs from his Local Authority Adult Services, then comes the financial assessment
best wishes