My parents have had live-in care for the last 14 months - they both have dementia in their mid-late 60s and live in rural Scotland. It's been hell and laterally the carers really aren't coping or lasting more than 7-14 days before tapping out and to be frank, they are often really weird people with stress-inducing personalities.
Its a 24/7 job keeping it all going, hours spent on video chat, liaising with carers, GPs, social workers, managers, keeping on top of all the bills, and shopping remotely and I have not had any actual leave from work in 3 years because i so often have to leave to go deal with emergencies. In addition, my job is crazily intense, in a hospital throughout the pandemic and i am 700 miles away in my mid-30s.
Anyway, what's really important is that I am no longer confident that all we are doing is the right thing for them anymore, Mum is very confused by the huge turnover in carers and has had a psychotic break with this before, often wakes overnight and usually doesn't know that she is in her own home. Dad is doubly incontinent and relatively content to be with mum but is much quieter and more advanced in his disease, he is also 6ft 4 and not easy to maneuver for a single carer.
I have been putting off at all costs the idea of a care home, especially with covid and visiting restrictions. But I think it's time.
For those who have been through it, what would you advise we look for in a care home?
thank you.
Its a 24/7 job keeping it all going, hours spent on video chat, liaising with carers, GPs, social workers, managers, keeping on top of all the bills, and shopping remotely and I have not had any actual leave from work in 3 years because i so often have to leave to go deal with emergencies. In addition, my job is crazily intense, in a hospital throughout the pandemic and i am 700 miles away in my mid-30s.
Anyway, what's really important is that I am no longer confident that all we are doing is the right thing for them anymore, Mum is very confused by the huge turnover in carers and has had a psychotic break with this before, often wakes overnight and usually doesn't know that she is in her own home. Dad is doubly incontinent and relatively content to be with mum but is much quieter and more advanced in his disease, he is also 6ft 4 and not easy to maneuver for a single carer.
I have been putting off at all costs the idea of a care home, especially with covid and visiting restrictions. But I think it's time.
For those who have been through it, what would you advise we look for in a care home?
thank you.