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Where is it? AKA The safe place time forget


Registered User
Jan 4, 2015
I'm sure that this is not just "me and my mom" and that losing things is a common problem amongst dementia sufferers and an ongoing nightmare for their carers. Does anyone have any practical suggestions for reducing the numbers of items / occurances?

My mom is 83 with MIVD and lives alone in a property on a warden supported complex. She has two care calls a day to assist with medication / meals / keeping her orientated to time of day etc. Some days she is fine, some days less so. However, despite moving from a three bed house to a one bedroom flat this has not much reduced the number of lost things.

Where on earth do these things go? Some days I suspect alien abduction / ninja squirrels! Especially, when I've looked "everywhere" and then two days later there is a sudden reappearance. I expect that things are getting put in a "safe place" and promptly forgotten!

Currently on the long term missing list are mom's bottom teeth and her red purse (fortunately no bank cards - I leared that lesson when we had them replaced three times in two months). Other favourites are keys (she will not just leave them on the hook in the hall), her handbag (I have just bought her a lovely BIG bag for Christmas - hopefully easier to find), glasses, post (this is a nightmare - I now have pretty much all of it copied or sent to me directly), her rings (OMG!!!), her watch, shoes (sometimes just one) etc etc etc

What ever I do/say seems to make no difference... any ideas? I'm begining to to feel like Lara Croft! ;)


Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
Rummaging, rearranging, hiding, tidying away - whatever you want to call it is part of busyness with dementia. I've stopped getting irritated as I see it now as a time filling exercise which substitutes for work. Gradually you become familiar with hiding places but they still cause occasional surprises. Obvious ones like under carpets, behind pictures, under plant pots, in containers in fridges and cupboards, down the side of cardboard boxes containing foodstuffs, wrapped inside socks or other clothing items.

My son in law is in the process of emptying his fathers property after finding him dead recently. He found 5 freezers filled with meat, prawns etc. All were switched off at the mains so all food worth hundreds of pounds rotten and bought presumably then forgotten.

It is all so difficult.


Registered User
May 18, 2014
I keep finding mum's 'other shoe' in her chest of drawers actually buried under loads of knickers, sometimes in a coat pocket in wardrobe. Missing gloves are harder to find, especially the right hand. But most things I do find in chest of drawers, she cannot help reorganising/putting away.


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
South coast
Whem mum went into a CH I started going through her home to sort it out.

I have found bills (still in their envelope) posted between the folds of towels folded up in the airing cupboard, her birth certificate sandwiched between 2 books in the book-case, a valuable gold necklace in the tea caddy under the tea-bags and £200 in notes wrapped up in her knickers. Mum still thinks that people are stealing from her so I guess she was putting things away in a "safe place"

We still havent found her will, though


Registered User
Oct 18, 2010
North East England
Get Cubic Zirconia versions of her rings wherever possible and put the originals in a safe place.....or accept that they and any other precious bits and pieces are likely to walk. . If you want her to only use that handbag, remove all the others from the house. Have all her mail redirected to your address....LPA needed to do this officially....but She only needs to sign the form and show the P.O some ID at the same time if you are doing it over the counter. Get LPAs done now if she still has capacity to sign...it'll make life easier in due course. Remove all important paperwork...birth Certificates Marriage etc. You could have all her utilities accounts put into joint names at your address.