where do we go from here?

[hanna133]

hi, I joined this forum for some advice. Basically we are certain my father in law has dementia but it's yet to be diagnosed. He has been to a number of memory clinics and there is no doubt his memory is worsening. Whilst we have not attended the memory clinics with him, from what we understand from my mother in law, everytime he attends they are told his memory is showing signs of worsening. In addition, we have also been told he had refused medication to assist with his memory.
What I would like to understand is how many times would someone attend a memory clinic before they were diagnosed officially with dementia? At this stage, we as a family feel like the doctors are sending him for these clinics to tick boxes but no actual progress is being made with regards to his condition. If an actual diagnosis was made, it would make things easiesr in terms of being able to get help and support because right now we are in limbo. This limbo is also having repercussions on my mother in law who is the sole caret and is in herself beginning to shown signs of stresss from having to deal with what feels like dementia but has not been diagnosed. She needs support but thus far the doctors have offered antidepressants and not much else. What i need to know is how do we as family, make progress towards a diagnosis so as to ensure that my father in law and mother in law get the best care?

Thank you in advance

 

[Beate]

Are you absolutely certain he hasn't been diagnosed yet? Medication is usually only offered after a diagnosis of certain forms of dementia,so the doctors must have a fair idea already.

A lack of diagnosis should not be a hindrance to help from Social Services though. It's about what he needs help with from others so your MIL should ask for an assessment, both for him and for her as his carer. Get her to write down everything she does for him on a daily basis, what she struggles with and what support she would need - is it sitters, carers, a day centre or respite, or perhaps all of them? If she is depressed, she might be heading towards carers breakdown which would mean she couldn't look after him at all anymore.

 

[Kevinl]

Hi Hanna, welcome to TP
Diagnosing what form od dementia or Alzheimer's someone has isn't an exact science, it's a range of conditions some of which can't be confirmed until after death.
When the doctors are uncertain then you can end up with a diagnosis like my wife of "mixed, atypical Alzheimer's" which tells you precisely nothing.
The diagnosis was made after the GP sent her for a CAT scan at the local hospital then refered her to the memory clinic who saw her once, sent her for a SPECT scan and then gave her the diagnosis. The whole process only took a few weeks (about 8 weeks I think).
Once diagnosed the doctors and the NHS really cease to be involved other than a check up now and then as there's nothing other than he medication they can do.
On going help comes from social services so the best place to start is to get the local social services to do an assessment of both his you MIL's needs. You should be able to request this online if you google the name of the Local Authority where they live followed by "adult assessment", if requested they have to do the assessment by law.
The social workers will assess them both and make recommendations based on how they see the situation.
Care for someone with AZ is means tested and if the in laws are over the financial limits then they would have to pay for it. Because the SS only recommend you don't have to do as they say you're free to make any arrangements you choose.
For information about what is available locally you are best off contacting the Alzheimer's Society or AGEUK in that area they'll have the best idea as it's all a bit of a postcode lottery and it depends which part of the UK they are in, England, Wales, Scotland and NI they are in. I say this because particularly the Scottish system work differently to the others, but they all differ.
As it's your first post I'd have a read around on here then if there's something you want to know just ask.
K

 

[hanna133]

hi both

thank you so much for your comments.

Hannah