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when to move


Registered User
Sep 13, 2014
Hi my mum has vascular dementia and is getting more forgetful and putting things in strange places around her flat. My brother and I have talked about it and if she needs to be moved into a care home we would move her near to me so I could visit regularly but that would mean moving her away from the area she lives.i keep thinking do we move her when she has some capcity so she can get to know people in the home or do we wait until she's got know capacity. Please any advice would be gratefully received. Thank you


Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
Radcliffe on Trent
Hi RSA and welcome to TP. I think there is a lot to be said for making the move while your mum still has the ability to make some new social life for herself and while she can enjoy the advantages of being near to you. So often it is some kind of crisis that prompts the move; if you are able to do this at your own pace I would hope it would go more smoothly.

For a long time I thought it would be problematic to move mum away from her local area but she was becoming increasingly isolated because of both physical mobility and dementia issues, which prompted us to start planning for her move. We had to bring things forward because of a fall, but it was a great relief that we already knew where we wanted her to move to.

One practical point: is your mum self-funding or do you need LA funding? If LA have to be involved then they will need to assess mum as needing residential care.


Registered User
Jan 14, 2015
I also moved my Mum into a care home away from the town in which she lived most of her life. I did feel guilty about taking her away from her network of friends but they all come to visit her and she is now nearer to her brother. Pickles53 is right - try not to let it descend into a crisis as the stress is hard to cope with, as well as the situation. As long as it's a nice care home, she will adjust to it.


Registered User
May 16, 2010
I also worried about moving a relative away from somewhere she'd lived most of her life. It was the right thing to do though. Sadly, friends tend not to visit as the person becomes more ill - and if they do want to visit they will do so wherever the person has moved to. Making it easy for you to visit on a regular basis is more important. Also it means, depending on how close she is, that you can 'pop' in for short visits, which I is much easier and of more benefit for both of you as the illness progresses.