I have talked about this before in various posts but it is now becoming quite an issue and I would value your opinions and suggestions.
OH has two sons who both live in Europe. He has had turbulent relationships with both and this occurred long before I met him.
At the time of our marriage, OH had not been in contact with No. 1 son for many years and wouldn't even ask him to our wedding and I have never met him. OH's description of him was that he was impossible to get along with, was irresponsible and exploited everyone he knew. About four years ago, at the request of his ex wife, OH initiated contact 'because No. 1 son was in a suicidal state of mind' and since then there has been
a mix of phone, emails, Facebook etc, often argumentative and confronting, sometimes pleasant.
When we met, No. 2 son and OH were working together, not always harmoniously but a few months after we were married, he began prying into our wills, insisting that if OH died before me, then I should give him and his brother half of what we had. Needless to say it caused a rift between them and a few months later we moved to another country to live for a couple of years before coming back to Australia. OH has found it difficult to communicate with him but visited them in Europe a few years ago and found it rather stressful.
The subject of our wills has reared its ugly head from time to time much to my disgust and ongoing frustration and recently it has been the centre of a lot of aggravation. I have been very self disciplined and have refrained from engaging with either son. However, both sons have been pushing harder and harder with the result that OH was getting very agitated which is usually a trigger for an episode of paranoia.
The current situation is that No. 2 son has vowed that he wants nothing to do with his father ever again. There have been extremely unpleasant posts on Facebook which has really upset OH.
No. 1 son is still phoning and bullying his dad and I have had enough, we both have. I know what I would like to do but I have to consider that OH is desperate to maintain a relationship with his son. I understand that but I need to curb this intrusive rudeness and harassment but how do I intervene without making matters worse?
OH is reluctant for me to talk to No. 1 son because he knows I can be quite forthright but I don't feel I have much choice. If anyone has any suggestions, I would welcome them.
It is ridiculous that someone who lives halfway round the world can cause so much distress. Sorry for the long post.
OH has two sons who both live in Europe. He has had turbulent relationships with both and this occurred long before I met him.
At the time of our marriage, OH had not been in contact with No. 1 son for many years and wouldn't even ask him to our wedding and I have never met him. OH's description of him was that he was impossible to get along with, was irresponsible and exploited everyone he knew. About four years ago, at the request of his ex wife, OH initiated contact 'because No. 1 son was in a suicidal state of mind' and since then there has been
a mix of phone, emails, Facebook etc, often argumentative and confronting, sometimes pleasant.
When we met, No. 2 son and OH were working together, not always harmoniously but a few months after we were married, he began prying into our wills, insisting that if OH died before me, then I should give him and his brother half of what we had. Needless to say it caused a rift between them and a few months later we moved to another country to live for a couple of years before coming back to Australia. OH has found it difficult to communicate with him but visited them in Europe a few years ago and found it rather stressful.
The subject of our wills has reared its ugly head from time to time much to my disgust and ongoing frustration and recently it has been the centre of a lot of aggravation. I have been very self disciplined and have refrained from engaging with either son. However, both sons have been pushing harder and harder with the result that OH was getting very agitated which is usually a trigger for an episode of paranoia.
The current situation is that No. 2 son has vowed that he wants nothing to do with his father ever again. There have been extremely unpleasant posts on Facebook which has really upset OH.
No. 1 son is still phoning and bullying his dad and I have had enough, we both have. I know what I would like to do but I have to consider that OH is desperate to maintain a relationship with his son. I understand that but I need to curb this intrusive rudeness and harassment but how do I intervene without making matters worse?
OH is reluctant for me to talk to No. 1 son because he knows I can be quite forthright but I don't feel I have much choice. If anyone has any suggestions, I would welcome them.
It is ridiculous that someone who lives halfway round the world can cause so much distress. Sorry for the long post.