• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can directly access this area >here<.

what to say.

jellymac

Registered User
Nov 29, 2014
63
West Midlands
My mom today has been quite weepy on and off, this afternoon while my dad went out to his car, my mom got quite upset and started saying see I told you how horrible he is to me, I asked her what she meant and she said him, hes always shouting at me and saying nasty things. They had been at my house all day and my dad certainly hadnt been like that. Its happened quite a few times over the last couple of months. Whats the best thing to say? If I tell her he hasnt she gets more confused and upset but at the same time I dont want to not say anything. Also my mom has a few times over the last couple of months been shouting and swearing at my dad and has hit him. Is this something that could get worse? Thank you.
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,072
Scotland
I think you need to inform her GP about this as it could be an infection or it could be a development of her dementia. Either way the doc should be able to prescribe appropriate medication.
 

lin1

Registered User
Jan 14, 2010
9,319
East Kent
Hello.
I think I would say something like ,
Don't worry Mum I will have a word with him. then try to engage mum in something that will take her mind off it, difficult I know.

I would mention to your Dad that this is happening, it may be Mum is remembering something from her past and its not necessarily anything to do with your Dad, Perhaps a difficult relationship with a family member when she was young but I am only guessing here.

I did notice with my Mum that she could easily spot the slightest tone in my voice

I too think it would be best to speak with her GP . I'm thinking apart from a Progression it could be things like, depression or infection
 
Last edited:

jellymac

Registered User
Nov 29, 2014
63
West Midlands
Thank you maronq, I will get my dad to get her in to the doctors just in case. She had a urine infection last year and it was scary how it affected her. Thank you lin1, she is on medication for depression, they do seem to have helped a little bit because she was very weepy all day every day before, now shes like it maybe a couple of times a week. I think you are deffinately right about confusing my dad with someone else, her biological dad was a vile man, he used to be horrible to my nan, mom and aunt and he kicked them out of the house when my mom was a young child. Some of the things she used to say about him and call him she has said to my dad, we have said we think she's getting them mixed up. Her Alzheimers seems to be progressing so quickly over the last few months, its so scary and heartbreaking. I just want my mom back
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,291
SW London
Thank you maronq, I will get my dad to get her in to the doctors just in case. She had a urine infection last year and it was scary how it affected her. Thank you lin1, she is on medication for depression, they do seem to have helped a little bit because she was very weepy all day every day before, now shes like it maybe a couple of times a week. I think you are deffinately right about confusing my dad with someone else, her biological dad was a vile man, he used to be horrible to my nan, mom and aunt and he kicked them out of the house when my mom was a young child. Some of the things she used to say about him and call him she has said to my dad, we have said we think she's getting them mixed up. Her Alzheimers seems to be progressing so quickly over the last few months, its so scary and heartbreaking. I just want my mom back
It does sound as if she's regressing to that time, your poor mum. There is a lady in my mother's CH who talks almost non stop - the words individually make sense but the whole doesn't, except that she often mentions 'that *******' and 'I hate him!' etc. You know she is back in some very bad period of her past. I have often been able to distract her for a while with the offer of a sweet or some chocolate, which I always take in for my mother.
 

jellymac

Registered User
Nov 29, 2014
63
West Midlands
Witzend that is exactly what my mom says about my dad, it really hurts him as he does everything for her, even though he knows himself that she's thinking about her dad. I'm going to just try and distract her with something and hope that helps.
 

Canadian Joanne

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 8, 2005
16,427
66
Toronto, Canada
In her early stage, my mother kept telling me that my stepfather was "running around on her". Poor mum, she had confused my stepfather with my father.

I agree that your mother is probably regressing in time. I hope your father understands that but it still must be heartbreaking for him.
 

jellymac

Registered User
Nov 29, 2014
63
West Midlands
Thank you Canadian Joanne. My dad does understand but you can see the hurt at the same time. My poor mom when she see photos of herself now she thinks its her mom, she only recognises herself from years ago.