What to say.

[Sunshine11!]

Mum is in a wonderful care home, being so well looked after. I visit her a few times a week. Im not sure that mum knows me as her daughter but she seems smiley and content to be with me. I’m finding it really hard to know what to talk to her about. Mum is mostly quiet; she will engage in activities but forgets quickly what she’s done etc. any advice appreciated. Do I need to talk?

 

[Jale]

When mum first went into the nursing home I used to take magazines in and we would look through them together, I'm not totally sure she understood or remembered the articles but she did seem to get some enjoyment at looking at the adverts. We also made up a photo album and wrote comments by the side of the photos as to who the people were.

This sadly is now no longer the case, I think that she doesn't know me, she only remembers her son - mum is very hard of hearing and rarely communicates or shows any interest in anything or anyone. Sometimes, if I am lucky she will let me hold her hand, but most of the time she doesn't like the contact.

If your mum is content to be with you I would make the most of that time and try not to worry about "entertaining" her

 

[canary]

Whe mum got to the stage when I could not take her out, I used to take in things to do. Sometimes I would take in my knitting and she would watch me and perhaps we could talk about what I was making and she might reminisce about clothes she had knitted in the past.

I also used to read to her from books she had liked as a child - Alice in Wonderland, Winnie the Pooh or The Wind in the Willows. I also found a book, A Golden Treasury of Verse in, her home and read her some of the poems. Mum had come from the time when children were often made to learn poetry by heart and I discovered that she could still remember a lot of them, so we would end up saying them together - me reading and mum reciting from memory

 

[Suzysheep01]

I sometimes bring in the local paper and read it to mum. It can spark of a bit of reminiscing about local businesses, people and events….

 

[sdmhred]

We must watch TV. I’ve made a corner of mum’s room a bit lounge like and I put on programmes like nature and travel which are more visual than plot based. I don’t attempt conversation bar do u want a drink etc? At the moment we’re making sticker Christmas cards - well i am making to be honest. Mum often thinks she’s in my flat during these times 🙈🙈

What would u do at home to relax? just do that in your mum’s company if she’s happy to sit there with you. Just ‘be’ together.