I'm so concerned about the future, I just need to get it all out and hopefully someone will give me some good advice.
Mum has been in the early stages of dementia, thought to be Alzheimers. Recently it's progressed and she's been having problems with cooking, shopping, personal care & money.
I live quite a way from her and have a young family so I can't really keep travelling back and forth to see her. I would really like her to move close to me but after reading many stories on this forum, I'm terrified.
I feel the need to look after my mum, it breaks my heart to think of her alone and vulnerable. My siblings live near her but frankly they don't care like I do and I have concerns about money.
The thing is, should I move her near me, risking confusing her and progressing the disease further but she will be cared for. Or should she stay where she is and rely on carers and my brothers/sisters?
Pros for her moving: She will be cared for. I will stop feeling so sad, guilty, worried and upset about leaving her. Children will learn that you look after your family no matter what.
Possible Cons: I wont be able to cope. My family will suffer. We will end up paying financially for her care (any financial advice would be gratefully received because I'm very confused about it all). She will drive me crazy, I wont have a life of my own and I'll end up depressed. Mum can't cope with the move and it makes her much worse.
Aahhhhh my brain!
Any advice would be lovely. I keep going over and over this in my head.
Thanks
Chook
x
Mum has been in the early stages of dementia, thought to be Alzheimers. Recently it's progressed and she's been having problems with cooking, shopping, personal care & money.
I live quite a way from her and have a young family so I can't really keep travelling back and forth to see her. I would really like her to move close to me but after reading many stories on this forum, I'm terrified.
I feel the need to look after my mum, it breaks my heart to think of her alone and vulnerable. My siblings live near her but frankly they don't care like I do and I have concerns about money.
The thing is, should I move her near me, risking confusing her and progressing the disease further but she will be cared for. Or should she stay where she is and rely on carers and my brothers/sisters?
Pros for her moving: She will be cared for. I will stop feeling so sad, guilty, worried and upset about leaving her. Children will learn that you look after your family no matter what.
Possible Cons: I wont be able to cope. My family will suffer. We will end up paying financially for her care (any financial advice would be gratefully received because I'm very confused about it all). She will drive me crazy, I wont have a life of my own and I'll end up depressed. Mum can't cope with the move and it makes her much worse.
Aahhhhh my brain!
Any advice would be lovely. I keep going over and over this in my head.
Thanks
Chook
x
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