What to do next?

[Moonstruck]

Does anyone have any advice? At this very moment my mum is trying to leave our house. This is getting worse and she is manic. She lives with us and we take her out every day for walks and as much stimulation as possible but as soon as we step foot back home she is determined to leave and won't stop trying to escape. She has Alzheimers and was diagnosed from Memory Clinic about 4 years ago although they say she has had it longer. She has never had a scan.
It's like she is stuck on a loop asking to go out all the time, never ending. My GP prescribed risperidone 2 days ago and she is also already on propranolol. I have had no sleep for 3 nights as she won't sleep. She also gets hallucinations and episodes which is like someone has entered her body and she speaks with a different voice and her face contorts in panic but it doesn't last long but happens about 5 times a day out of nowhere. I feel like a zombie and not sure how to get mum back on an even keel. Gp supposed to be calling me tomorrow but they don't seem very interested in dementia and seem to have to consult with mental health team in Edinburgh anyway.
I registered with social services to try to get some help but they say there is a long waiting list where we live as we are in the Borders.
Tks and any advice is appreciated.

 

[Anjona]

Really feel for you Moonstruck. Trying to deal with my mother-in-law this evening too as she also wants to go out. After several weeks of locking the doors all the time we're now only locking them at night as her mobility has reduced so drastically she wont really get far. Everyone seems to say that it's all so very individual and it really is true. The only calming influence for my mother-in-law is reggae music. Does help but she still wants to go out. Tonight I got lucky and all the invisible children she looks after didnt want to go out so she sat back down again. Sound like you need a break. Is there anyone else who could help you at least get some sleep?

 

[Moonstruck]

Really feel for you Moonstruck. Trying to deal with my mother-in-law this evening too as she also wants to go out. After several weeks of locking the doors all the time we're now only locking them at night as her mobility has reduced so drastically she wont really get far. Everyone seems to say that it's all so very individual and it really is true. The only calming influence for my mother-in-law is reggae music. Does help but she still wants to go out. Tonight I got lucky and all the invisible children she looks after didnt want to go out so she sat back down again. Sound like you need a break. Is there anyone else who could help you at least get some sleep?

Thanks for your reply and you sound like you have the same problems. We have to lock all of the doors as well. Last week I turned my back for 2 mins and she disappeared over the bridge into England. We had a bit of luck in that someone we knew was on a passing bus and seen her otherwise we wouldn't have found her as its in the middle of countryside and she could have been run over. It gets to the stage when it's not just draining but a safety aspect. Will see what the GP says tomorrow. Wishing you some peace with your mother-in-law, I may well try the reggae music 😊

 

[Ellie2018]

My OH had a thing for going out constantly but luckily it seems better. He was also a bit aggressive at times so the GP put him in mirtrazapine, with a few changes of dose and time, it really seems to have made a difference. I can’t be sure it’s helped the need to go out but it’s a big coincidence. I got a ring doorbell to ‘clock him in out and in’ and an Apple Watch to check where he was and call him if he wasn’t where he should be. Don’t know if any of this will help but might be worth a go.

 

[phill]

Thanks for your reply and you sound like you have the same problems. We have to lock all of the doors as well. Last week I turned my back for 2 mins and she disappeared over the bridge into England. We had a bit of luck in that someone we knew was on a passing bus and seen her otherwise we wouldn't have found her as its in the middle of countryside and she could have been run over. It gets to the stage when it's not just draining but a safety aspect. Will see what the GP says tomorrow. Wishing you some peace with your mother-in-law, I may well try the reggae music 😊

I suggest that you put something in writing to her GP detailing all the incidents where she has put herself at risk. It sounds like the grounds might be met for the doctors to detain her in hospital under mental health legislation, and that would at least give you and the professionals the breathing space to make plans about how best she can be looked after in the long term.