What to do about Mom

[KJB007]

She’s not the person I remember but every now and then I see a resemblance. I saw her yesterday and it was shocking to see how much she had diminished. Her skin color was grayish white. The skin just hung on the bones of her face and looked like wax, not healthy tissue. She tried but could barely eat one slice of pizza. She has lost a lot of weight, around 40 lbs. She doesn’t like to eat and hates nearly everything. Very argumentative as well. It is hard to see her, hard to deal with her. My heart is full of compassion as well as sorrow and fear. I had to go directly to bed after the visit because of the exhaustion of the constant tension when I was with her. I slept four hours.
My Mom is 84 years old. I don’t know how much time we have left with her. The heartache I feel is overwhelming.My Mom has dementia.

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @KJB007 and welcome to Dementia Support Forum our friendly and helpful community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. I am sorry to hear about your Mom and how it is affecting you. This is a great place to ask questions as our members are always willing to pass on their experience.

 

[Izzy]

Welcome from me too @KJB007.

I’m so sorry to read about your Mom. It really is heartbreaking.

I’m glad you have found this forum and I hope that being part of our community helps you feel less alone. You will find so much understanding and support here.

 

[leny connery]

the worst of it is: there is NOTHING anyone could do to stop the progression of this disease. I find myself think that his release will only be when he dies, God forgive and help me. I do not wish it on him (and me for missing him), but it is pathetic to watch a brilliant man reduced to not being able to work out a TV remote or the phone, to not recognising close friends, family, even me sometimes. to be so utterly dependent on me to supervise his daily living activity. I am tired, and heartbroken but will keep going a day at a time till the end. his or mine.

 

[KJB007]

I know what you mean. It was a year at least or more where there was a call to the cable company or phone company that the service needed to be fixed. And the phone… she could never remember to push “ end” to end the call. So the phone always rang busy! She is in long term care now thank God. It’s hard to get ahold of her as she zooms out of the room before 6:00 AM! And the nurses are so busy. So, I go see her when I feel well enough to face it again…it being the battle that dementia has on her and our family. I am tired all the time. I want to hide in my room most nights. I listen to green noise on YouTube to quiet my brain so I can sleep. I’m making two dozen cupcakes for all the residents on her floor tomorrow. Homemade carrot cake!

 

[KJB007]

Thank you for allowing me into your support group!