Dad has been in the care home for 3 years now and about to have his 4th Xmas there. The first year, he had only been there for 2 months so my sister and her daughters went there for Xmas dinner (we were worried he would refuse to go back if we took him out). The following year, I went on my own (dad was grumpy, said Xmas didn't mean anything to him) and last year, my other sister took him to her house.
This year, dad has said he doesn't want to go to anyone's house. He wants to stay in the home. We have said that one of us would go and have dinner with him but he has said a definite no to that too. One sister has just come out of hospital and my other sister and I really want to spend time with our grandchildren which we won't be able to do if we go to the home.
We are thinking of visiting him on Xmas Eve for a few hours but not on Xmas Day. He knows it is Xmas but we're sure that he won't remember us going whenever we do go. His sister died a few weeks ago. He's been told 3 times but reacts as if it is the first he's heard of it. Every time we visit, he says none of us have been to see him since he went in there.
Has anyone else been in that situation? We feel guilty for not spending Xmas Day with him but feel we are missing out on time with our grandkids and that he won't appreciate us going or even remember anyway.
This year, dad has said he doesn't want to go to anyone's house. He wants to stay in the home. We have said that one of us would go and have dinner with him but he has said a definite no to that too. One sister has just come out of hospital and my other sister and I really want to spend time with our grandchildren which we won't be able to do if we go to the home.
We are thinking of visiting him on Xmas Eve for a few hours but not on Xmas Day. He knows it is Xmas but we're sure that he won't remember us going whenever we do go. His sister died a few weeks ago. He's been told 3 times but reacts as if it is the first he's heard of it. Every time we visit, he says none of us have been to see him since he went in there.
Has anyone else been in that situation? We feel guilty for not spending Xmas Day with him but feel we are missing out on time with our grandkids and that he won't appreciate us going or even remember anyway.
Last edited by a moderator: