What should we do with mum's money

[Chemmy]

better to be on the dole , never work , scrounge benefits and get a free care home !!!

Stick around on TP, bmw777, and once you've read the horror stories of what it's like being totally dependant on the LA for funding, you might have a change of heart.

There are care homes...and there are care homes Self funders at least have the choice of when and where.

I feel really sorry for those who have had low paid jobs all their lives (not everyone without savings or a house is a scrounger) and have had no opportunity to build up a nest egg for their old age. At least by my mum self-funding, it left more in the pot to provide for them.

 

[stanleypj]

dear stanley
are you saying my parents are wrong to work very hard and long hours for a low wage and pay income tax and national insurance and never claim benefits once in their whole entire working life , but made the mistake of saving as they were of a by gone of rationing era

No, I'm not. You can read what I said.

I don't know how many people 'settle for a life on the dole' - nor do you. But since the poorer you are, the earlier you tend to die, those who receive benefits or work for a very low wage are not likely to live long enough to need a care home. So you can forget about many of them getting even the most basic care home at your expense. Would you like to change places with them?

 

[bmw777]

pointless

it seems people have different opinions and will never agree

black white and grey

 

[garnuft]

My Dad was a miner and a Trades Union Secretary.
We lived in a lovely old victorian house.

My Mother worked before I went to school.

I remember sitting waiting for her to come home from her shift cleaning in the local Chest Hospital.

My Dad retired when he was 65 and the house went with him.
They moved into a council House.
My Dad died when he was 66.

My Mam was a District Councillor until she was 76 years old.(She worked part-time until she was 60 too)
She went out every morning on a bus 8.30 am and came home at 4.30 pm.

Dad got a 'lumper' after his death for white finger, an industrial disease, £14,000.
That meant my Mam had to pay full rent and council tax from the tiny sum she got for being on the council, her state pension and the £14.00 a week widows pit pension.

This was only 10 years ago.

My mother has never had a chance to build up a pot to 'leave' to us, she spent what she had on us, whenever she had it.

She now has about £18,000 in savings.

She likes to look at her bank statement.
'I never thought I'd be rich' she says.

She and my father paid tax ALL their lives, were never on the sick or claimed anything but Family Allowance.

They worked hard for their money, their mistake was they never bought a brick.

For that would have given Mam some freedom if the time comes to go into a home.

'Spend it Mother' I say to her 'I'll only waste it when you're gone'

And we sit and laff and laff.

 

[Chemmy]

Well, Gwen, I'd far rather pay my taxes in order for your mum to get free care than support someone better off just so they can leave a sizeable inheritance to their grown up children.

 

[Shash7677]

Posted twice in error. Sorry I'm not concentrating!!!


Sharon

 

[Shash7677]

BMW.

If your mum were ever to qualify for CHC, in the UK she wouldn't have to pay a penny towards her care either. Others would argue that this is unfair.

There's 2 sides to the arguement and I don't think they will ever be agreed on, I don't agree that people should be penalised for saving, BUT the government has said that they are changing the threshold of how much you can have in savings etc before you have to pay. I believe this is going from £23k up to around about £140k. So something is infact being done to benefit those who do have assets above the £23k mark. When it will come into effect who knows, but at least it is being done.

I also don't agree that bludgers and scrounges get everything, some people's circumstances mean they can't work. For example, I have always worked full time up to the point we had our 3rd child. We physically, even with OH working cannot afford the astronomical child care fees that 3 children generate, therefore I stay at home. I get tax credits and family allowance for the children. Does this mean that hubby who works is entitled to care but as I'm a scrounged getting benefits I shouldn't get anything? No it doesn't, it just means circumstantially at the minute I can't go to work. I think we have to be exceptionally careful before we hurl that stone from our glass houses.


Sharon

 

[nicoise]

A friend of mine discovered his father was one of the only self-funders in a nursing home run by a national health insurance company - whose fees are at the more expensive end of the carehome scale.... but in that area there weren't many homes available, so the LA was having to place its' funded patients there; so in the lottery that this all is, LA funding can get you as good a place as the self-funders!

I also had another friend whose husband had a massive brain haemorrhage and needed full time care - but didn't qualify for CHC funding. Which meant she either had to give up her job to care for him at home, which meant she wouldn't be able to afford the mortgage payments and they would have to sell their home; or sell their home to meet care home costs. They also lived in a rural location with a bus twice a day, so a car was a necessity. Fortunately in the end she found a charity who funded his care home costs, she could stay in her job, and keep their home. So no, it isn't only dementia sufferers who come up against the challenges of meeting care fees which aren't funded by the state.

 

[uselessdaughter]

There are care homes...and there are care homes Self funders at least have the choice of when and where.

Dad is self-funding, £750 pw, and in the end we had no choice as to where he ended up. We were asked to move him from our first choice of home because of his aggressive behaviour and the second one was unable to cope with him either. Both were fully dementia registered, but we had to remove him for the "safety of our staff and other residents" He was sectioned and when he was ready to be discharged the next two choices would not take him because of his challenging behaviour, so there was only one place left which would enable my brother, who lives nearest, reasonable travelling time, and that it just under an hour each way. So no, being self funding does not allow you the home of your choice.

And, I still cannot understand why, when he has been refused care at four homes that his Continuing Healthcare assessment deemed him not bad enough to receive funding.

 

[jaymor]

Dad is self-funding, £750 pw, and in the end we had no choice as to where he ended up. We were asked to move him from our first choice of home because of his aggressive behaviour and the second one was unable to cope with him either. Both were fully dementia registered, but we had to remove him for the "safety of our staff and other residents" He was sectioned and when he was ready to be discharged the next two choices would not take him because of his challenging behaviour, so there was only one place left which would enable my brother, who lives nearest, reasonable travelling time, and that it just under an hour each way. So no, being self funding does not allow you the home of your choice.

And, I still cannot understand why, when he has been refused care at four homes that his Continuing Healthcare assessment deemed him not bad enough to receive funding.

The care your Father needs sound the same as my husband has. We were first told he needed EMI nursing but in six weeks that changed to Nursing care for dementia with challenging behaviour. We had visited 20+ EMI nursing homes and found one we liked only to then be told he needed the extra care. There were just two of these homes in our county and luckily 1 was just a few miles away from our home.

Unfortunately because this type of care is scarce for dementia sufferers (plenty for adults with learning difficulties) then there is little choice and may well be miles away from where you live. The other one for us was right the other side of the county.

My husband has 1:1 care because of his condition in fact most of the 9 residents on his floor get 1:1.

Jay