Hi there,
Not written on here for a long time but have spent hours reading everyones posts.
This is my/our story:-
Mum diagnosed with Alzheimers and depression last August, 2006. Her score was 23. (if you know what I mean).
I knew something seriously was wrong back in June with her short term memory etc, and she kept ringing me very tearful, saying she hated being on her own. When we discovered the outcome I was devastated and found it very hard (still am) to accept the illness and its affects. Mum prsecribed Aricept and Anti-depressants Nov 2006, taken off the Anti-depressants in Feb 2007.
I also found out Nov 2006 that my Dad who brought me up is not my biological Dad (after 43 yrs being in the dark) all the family knew the truth except me and my sister. Mum had put off telling me for whatever reasons I'll never know now, but Dad has always wanted me to know the truth, especially after he and Mum divorced. He met my Mum just after I was born and when they married I was legally adopted. So dealing with that news aswell has had its affects on me. I am now seriously depressed, signed off work and just about coping on a day to day basis.
We moved up to the North West from Surrey March 2007, and because I would never leave my Mum before, prior to the illness it was agreed within our family to bring her with us.
Everyone was concerned and kept saying "Do you know what you're taking on" & "What about the impact on your family life, etc, etc"
But I was detemined to look after Mum if I possibly could.
Everything seemed to fall into place, my husband got a job and we found a wonderful nursery/school for our little girl. Mum seemed fine at first, and we would go out & about, then after 10 weeks or so she became either verbally aggressive, tearful, wishing she was dead to hyper active and excitable. I found myself slipping into a downward spiral where I couldnt cope with Mums mood swings and was forever worried about my little 4yr old girl who Mum would sometimes play nicely or bully, tease & push away. And as for my poor husband, he only wanted to protect us but in doing so made an enemy of Mum and she hated him with a passion.
It all came to a head back in June and basically without going into details Mum flipped completely and ended up in hospital, in a secure unit. They have been monitoring her meds and have taken her off the Aricept, which they say wasnt working for her, but since diagnosed Manic Depression (Bipolar), aswell as the Alzheimers and her latest Test score was 14. The depression is now being treated and Mums moods have calmed.
We (my sister & I) recently have had a meeting with the Consultant, Social worker and all, and have another planned for this coming Monday 30th July 2007.
Last meeting they advised with Mums illness, added bladder incontinence and need for 24/7 needs she should go into a home. Residential recommended because she is very sociable, physically fit and can look after herself with a little reminder. They do not feel that it would be beneficial (not sure if thats the right word) to either my family or Mum if she was to move back to the family home.
Again I am distraught as to know what to do....................... My sister and I have visited 5 homes and come up with 2 very nice possibles. But have we visited enough though ?????? And Mum doesnt want to go into a home. We have explained it is more like a hotel, with all your food provided etc. But I feel so guilty and do not know what to do for the best. Mum is only 68 and was still driving only 18 months ago.
My heart tells me to look after Mum as long as possible, she has always been there for me through thick & thin, and you never know how long they have left with this evil illness. But my head tells me to think about my family, the future and Mums long term needs.
I am being torn in 2, am physically & mentally shattered, not sleeping at all and feel close to meltdown.
Please, please, please, all you wonderful & caring people on TP do you have any ideas, advise or answers for me.
love and regards
Melanie
Not written on here for a long time but have spent hours reading everyones posts.
This is my/our story:-
Mum diagnosed with Alzheimers and depression last August, 2006. Her score was 23. (if you know what I mean).
I knew something seriously was wrong back in June with her short term memory etc, and she kept ringing me very tearful, saying she hated being on her own. When we discovered the outcome I was devastated and found it very hard (still am) to accept the illness and its affects. Mum prsecribed Aricept and Anti-depressants Nov 2006, taken off the Anti-depressants in Feb 2007.
I also found out Nov 2006 that my Dad who brought me up is not my biological Dad (after 43 yrs being in the dark) all the family knew the truth except me and my sister. Mum had put off telling me for whatever reasons I'll never know now, but Dad has always wanted me to know the truth, especially after he and Mum divorced. He met my Mum just after I was born and when they married I was legally adopted. So dealing with that news aswell has had its affects on me. I am now seriously depressed, signed off work and just about coping on a day to day basis.
We moved up to the North West from Surrey March 2007, and because I would never leave my Mum before, prior to the illness it was agreed within our family to bring her with us.
Everyone was concerned and kept saying "Do you know what you're taking on" & "What about the impact on your family life, etc, etc"
But I was detemined to look after Mum if I possibly could.
Everything seemed to fall into place, my husband got a job and we found a wonderful nursery/school for our little girl. Mum seemed fine at first, and we would go out & about, then after 10 weeks or so she became either verbally aggressive, tearful, wishing she was dead to hyper active and excitable. I found myself slipping into a downward spiral where I couldnt cope with Mums mood swings and was forever worried about my little 4yr old girl who Mum would sometimes play nicely or bully, tease & push away. And as for my poor husband, he only wanted to protect us but in doing so made an enemy of Mum and she hated him with a passion.
It all came to a head back in June and basically without going into details Mum flipped completely and ended up in hospital, in a secure unit. They have been monitoring her meds and have taken her off the Aricept, which they say wasnt working for her, but since diagnosed Manic Depression (Bipolar), aswell as the Alzheimers and her latest Test score was 14. The depression is now being treated and Mums moods have calmed.
We (my sister & I) recently have had a meeting with the Consultant, Social worker and all, and have another planned for this coming Monday 30th July 2007.
Last meeting they advised with Mums illness, added bladder incontinence and need for 24/7 needs she should go into a home. Residential recommended because she is very sociable, physically fit and can look after herself with a little reminder. They do not feel that it would be beneficial (not sure if thats the right word) to either my family or Mum if she was to move back to the family home.
Again I am distraught as to know what to do....................... My sister and I have visited 5 homes and come up with 2 very nice possibles. But have we visited enough though ?????? And Mum doesnt want to go into a home. We have explained it is more like a hotel, with all your food provided etc. But I feel so guilty and do not know what to do for the best. Mum is only 68 and was still driving only 18 months ago.
My heart tells me to look after Mum as long as possible, she has always been there for me through thick & thin, and you never know how long they have left with this evil illness. But my head tells me to think about my family, the future and Mums long term needs.
I am being torn in 2, am physically & mentally shattered, not sleeping at all and feel close to meltdown.
Please, please, please, all you wonderful & caring people on TP do you have any ideas, advise or answers for me.
love and regards
Melanie