Hubby went into care home yesterday until 7th May to give me a well earned break. Hard thing to do and felt guilty leaving him, but know that I can't carry on being exhausted.
Family and friends have said stuff like: oooh are you going for a spa day? Why don't you book a break away? etc, etc. Well apart from the fact that I don't want a spa day or a mini holiday on my own (they are all working or have other commitments) I want to stay at home and do normal stuff.
This morning I got up (didn't set the alarm) when I awoke, stripped my bed, naked (as no carer wandering about!). Went into the bathroom without having to take my own towels and toiletries with me, as yesterday afternoon I put my things back into the cabinet and hung my fresh towels on the rails. What luxury, plugs back in the sinks (Which normally are hidden so hubby can't flood the bathroom. Ran hot water without having to go to boiler room to turn it on (Have to turn it off if hubby upstairs because he leaves taps running and empties the hot water tank). Actually had time to defuzz arm pits etc! Went to toilet without having to clean it first! Used the several nearly empty toilet rolls which I can't leave on holder as Hubby wouldn't know where or how to put new one on. Had shower without having to inspect first for poo.
Left the top undone on my shower soap, oh the luxury.
Went downstairs and opened all curtains and blinds which I normally have to do first thing before carer comes.
Opened some mail and left it on the sideboard which I can't normally do or it disappears or gets ripped up.
Made myself a breakfast of my choice.
Am now sat in chair watching Gino on TV cooking some fish instead of some action movie which hubby likes.
There's hundreds of other little things that most people take for granted in their normal lives but I've come to realise that I don't live a normal life. Today I can do what I like, even though I'm finding it difficult to relax and can't stop worrying about Hubby and hoping he's happy. But I need this normality, even for one week.
I know I'm lucky in that we have carers coming in every day to help hubby with showering and keeping him safe while I do chores, and we live in a beautiful house with lovely views. I am sorry for people who don't have these comforts.
Living with my hubby who has mixed dementia (aged 69) is like living with a 5' 10" naughty child who is physically fit and fights you (and carers) every step of the way.
It's hard and I miss the man I married and the retirement fun we should be having. My heart goes out to all you 24/7 carers. I don't care what these 'text book experts say, if you haven't lived it you really don't have much idea. And of course every PWD is different. My 94 year old father in law with Alz is in the same care home where hubby is and he's much more switched on than hubby. You can have a conversation with him, he can shower etc, he can dress himself, he can cheat at cards and dominoes, none of which my hubby can do.
Anyway, I'm going to have 40 winks now (because I can). Hugs to all. X
Family and friends have said stuff like: oooh are you going for a spa day? Why don't you book a break away? etc, etc. Well apart from the fact that I don't want a spa day or a mini holiday on my own (they are all working or have other commitments) I want to stay at home and do normal stuff.
This morning I got up (didn't set the alarm) when I awoke, stripped my bed, naked (as no carer wandering about!). Went into the bathroom without having to take my own towels and toiletries with me, as yesterday afternoon I put my things back into the cabinet and hung my fresh towels on the rails. What luxury, plugs back in the sinks (Which normally are hidden so hubby can't flood the bathroom. Ran hot water without having to go to boiler room to turn it on (Have to turn it off if hubby upstairs because he leaves taps running and empties the hot water tank). Actually had time to defuzz arm pits etc! Went to toilet without having to clean it first! Used the several nearly empty toilet rolls which I can't leave on holder as Hubby wouldn't know where or how to put new one on. Had shower without having to inspect first for poo.
Left the top undone on my shower soap, oh the luxury.Went downstairs and opened all curtains and blinds which I normally have to do first thing before carer comes.
Opened some mail and left it on the sideboard which I can't normally do or it disappears or gets ripped up.
Made myself a breakfast of my choice.
Am now sat in chair watching Gino on TV cooking some fish instead of some action movie which hubby likes.
There's hundreds of other little things that most people take for granted in their normal lives but I've come to realise that I don't live a normal life. Today I can do what I like, even though I'm finding it difficult to relax and can't stop worrying about Hubby and hoping he's happy. But I need this normality, even for one week.
I know I'm lucky in that we have carers coming in every day to help hubby with showering and keeping him safe while I do chores, and we live in a beautiful house with lovely views. I am sorry for people who don't have these comforts.
Living with my hubby who has mixed dementia (aged 69) is like living with a 5' 10" naughty child who is physically fit and fights you (and carers) every step of the way.
It's hard and I miss the man I married and the retirement fun we should be having. My heart goes out to all you 24/7 carers. I don't care what these 'text book experts say, if you haven't lived it you really don't have much idea. And of course every PWD is different. My 94 year old father in law with Alz is in the same care home where hubby is and he's much more switched on than hubby. You can have a conversation with him, he can shower etc, he can dress himself, he can cheat at cards and dominoes, none of which my hubby can do.
Anyway, I'm going to have 40 winks now (because I can). Hugs to all. X
