Hi everyone Mum (doubly incontinent, mobile, late stages dementia and sometimes needing care at night as well as during the day) is still cared for at home by my Dad (exhausted, blind and having mobility problems). Mum has one half hour of paid care daily to get her up in the mornings but no other paid care. Following a monitoring visit by one of the local Social Services team, it's been reported back that the house is a bit grubby (that's being polite - it's unhygienic and smelly). The very good, very helpful GP feels that on balance Mum's care is still acceptable but as a family we need to make changes fairly urgently (possibilities include more paid care; Mum and Dad both moving into assisted, more manageable accommodation; or Mum going into local residential care). As a family, we've long felt Dad needs more help and / or to change the way Mum is cared for BUT Dad has determinedly resisted all such suggestions from whatever source they come. I think Dad would feel totally defeated by life and age if he were forced into major changes against his will (especially if Mum went into residential care - he wouldn't know what to do with himself and he'd feel dreadfully lonely without Mum's presence). I think Mum would probably enjoy the stimulus of having other people around her and of being looked after by carers who aren't tired and who aren't upset and annoyed by her limitations. On the other hand, Mum wouldn't eat so well and she'd lose whatever comfort she still enjoys in being in her own home. I'm seeking your advice please on two issues:- (1) What powers have Social Services to insist on various features of Mum's care being changed even if Dad doesn't agree, what's the process they'll follow and how long would that process take before Mum was moved? I think it's not an emergency safe-guarding issue, more one of care deteriorating slowly to unacceptable standards. Mum's already been shown not to have capacity. (2) What's likely to be worrying Social Services most in this situation and what should we do to resolve their entirely rational worries? Apart from the general undesirability of care being provided by an extremely exhausted, disabled carer, supported by whatever family help is possible, I'm assuming Social Services worry a great deal about the unhygienic condition and disease risks. Expanding the current care package might deal with this worry. Introducing more care for Mum and for the house would also have the spin-off value of reducing Dad's exhaustion and stress levels (if he could be brought to accept it - which is unlikely); a less exhausted Dad might provide better care for Mum. Perhaps introducing a small dishwasher might improve the cleanliness of crockery and cutlery; I'm not sure it'd be used but at least we could try it. It's going to be impossible to do much more towards making the house easier for dementia care than it is. We can't do anything about the steep stairs and cramped loos. I really would appreciate any advice / information you can give.