My mum-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 18 months ago. She’s 86 and lives alone. She has carers four times a day and we visit every day. We have done everything we can to make sure she’s safe, well and happy and up to now, she’s managed reasonable well.
In the past few months, her memory has got much worse and she’s becoming increasingly agitated. She’s also fallen four times over the last few months and paramedics have had to attend - though thankfully hasn’t been seriously hurt. The worst thing is when she gets confused. She believes she’s at work and can’t get home, or that she’s being asked to leave her flat and has nowhere to go. Or she worries about where her babies are or her parents. She rings us throughout the day on various work, home and mobile numbers saying all this. She’s very agitated, afraid and upset and it’s so difficult to reassure her and deal with her distress. Last month her phone bill showed she rang us 107 times. I’m sure it will have at least doubled this month. She’s also started to leave her flat and knocks on the neighbour’s door asking for help. Luckily she can’t get outside but as she’s quite doddery, there’s still the risk of falling in the hallway area.
Both my husband and I work full time in stressful jobs and we’re struggling to cope lately. Though the carers are generally reliable, There’s still all the organising, prescription orders, GP or other health worker visits, cleaning, shopping and so on. My husband carries the bulk of the responsibility and I help as much as I can, but we’re both feeling a bit drained, mainly with the stress of it all. We don’t feel like socialising, doing much in the house or going away for a break as it’s too much trouble.
We have asked for a social worker assessment to see if now is the right time for her to move to residential care. But previously they have indicated that she would have to be in crisis before this could be considered (she wouldn’t be self-funding).
Does anyone know what this means exactly? There’s already a risk to her physical and mental well-being and it seems wrong to me we have to wait until she comes to some harm before anyone helps
Grateful for any advice
In the past few months, her memory has got much worse and she’s becoming increasingly agitated. She’s also fallen four times over the last few months and paramedics have had to attend - though thankfully hasn’t been seriously hurt. The worst thing is when she gets confused. She believes she’s at work and can’t get home, or that she’s being asked to leave her flat and has nowhere to go. Or she worries about where her babies are or her parents. She rings us throughout the day on various work, home and mobile numbers saying all this. She’s very agitated, afraid and upset and it’s so difficult to reassure her and deal with her distress. Last month her phone bill showed she rang us 107 times. I’m sure it will have at least doubled this month. She’s also started to leave her flat and knocks on the neighbour’s door asking for help. Luckily she can’t get outside but as she’s quite doddery, there’s still the risk of falling in the hallway area.
Both my husband and I work full time in stressful jobs and we’re struggling to cope lately. Though the carers are generally reliable, There’s still all the organising, prescription orders, GP or other health worker visits, cleaning, shopping and so on. My husband carries the bulk of the responsibility and I help as much as I can, but we’re both feeling a bit drained, mainly with the stress of it all. We don’t feel like socialising, doing much in the house or going away for a break as it’s too much trouble.
We have asked for a social worker assessment to see if now is the right time for her to move to residential care. But previously they have indicated that she would have to be in crisis before this could be considered (she wouldn’t be self-funding).
Does anyone know what this means exactly? There’s already a risk to her physical and mental well-being and it seems wrong to me we have to wait until she comes to some harm before anyone helps
Grateful for any advice
