Hi Velademar. A while ago I posted a similar question on another thread somewhere because I'm in the same situation. It was really worrying me so from advice received on that thread and elsewhere, here's what I've done in case it helps:
LPAs and will in place (sister, who lives a long way off, is first attorney, solicitor backup); registered with GP and local council as unpaid carer; emergency plan lodged with council (not much of a plan but makes them aware, & contains phone numbers of contacts etc); made a very detailed document setting out where things are in the house, financial arrangements, housekeeping issues etc which I've sent to two friends (I'm not expecting them to step in - they would simply be able to contact people and supply information); a list of every phone number I can garner of people, both official and unofficial, local and distant, who might be of help; found a local person who has worked as a carer who would step in on a paid basis temporarily in an emergency; done a version of the Alz Soc 'This Is Me' document together with a detailed history of my husband's life (I'm the only person alive who knows it now) which, together with a document setting out what help he would currently need, I keep in the house (kept in the house because these docs need updating every now and then and also felt a bit too personal to send out to the two friends - they just know where to find the docs if they need them); joined local support group so people know me and a bit about my situation; finally I wear an ID thing on my wrist which contains info and phone numbers which ought to start off a chain of help if I'm found unconscious somewhere. Also have a 'carer's card' supplied by the council in my purse. I think that's it.
I haven't had a carer's assessment, but will be thinking about asking for one.
You can't possibly plan for every eventuality. I think what I've done would work ok if I was seriously out of commission, probably less useful if I had to have regular treatment for something or was in hospital for a week or so (which was your worry), but it's still good to have all the phone numbers and have made people aware of the situation.
Like you, my OH has no insight into his condition. He is also stubborn and will resist help, and though lots of people know him none of them are close friends. People have suggested slowly introducing a paid carer (making out it's a friend etc). I haven't done that yet, but can see the wisdom of it.
I feel that the problems faced by those of us without family or children as we get older are overlooked by officialdom. So much advice and most of the emergency plan forms assume you have someone willing you could ask to step in, but there must surely be many of us who don't.
So, what I've done is far from perfect but I do feel better for having done it I hope you will too. Good luck with it.
