What I found at mums care home today.

[KAnne]

I've just spoken to our local Alzheimer's Society. They want me to go in to see them immediately. They say it's neglect and absolutely have to inform social services. She said it is her duty to report it as this was against everything that a care home is meant to provide.

Oh dear, I'm scared now. Mum had settled and moving her will really upset her but it's clear I can't, and won't be able to leave her there. I'm so upset. This disease is so horrible already and will certainly get much worse. I don't know how I'm going to be able to protect her from what's to come.

Hmm, what now I wonder try to be positive I suppose Downnotout, perhaps your mum will like another home, you never know - will the SS tell the home you complained do you think? Is the Altzheimers person going to name you to SS? (they must maybe)

I'm wondering if one snap shot of a home is enough to condemn it? perhaps this sort of thing happens now and then in all homes, I don't know

Do you know what tends to happen though, the care home will be warned where they've failed on this occasion, promise to do better, be re checked and on it goes

 

[kingmidas1962]

goodness, what an awful shock for you. I can only agree with everyone else that this needs looking into, and straight away, if only to establish how the room got into this state and what they should do to avoid it happening again.

I had some reservations about my dads care home, initially, only because, I think, I had little or no experience of them, apart from with my grandparents - and we're talking 30-35 years ago for their care, things have improved (mostly) since those days.

Dad has double continence issues but when I visit he is always clean - any 'accidents' seem to be dealt with quickly. In fact yesterday when I visited he had just stripped off and been dressed again despite having a shower that morning, as he had just had a 'poop' accident. All his clothes were taken off to the laundry. Only once have I found soiled underwear, and that was because dad had put it back in the drawer/washing basket himself (the staff didn't know). They even checked to see if his slippers were washable in case he got poop on them (which he did one day, and they were whisked away and cleaned up)

It IS possible that it was a 'one-off' but even at that it is not acceptable. Try not to think too far ahead in terms of moving her, or how she will settle in a different place - that's for the future and at the moment her welfare is paramount.

 

[KAnne]

When my mum was in short term care, a few times when I arrived there was a big poo stain on the carpet, the sink was dirty, the commode unemptied, my mum in bed, the tea cold - I just think it does happen everywhere

I still thought it was a reasonably good care home, they're really fighting against the tide with dementia patients, it's so terribly difficult and random

 

[Saffie]

When my mum was in short term care, a few times when I arrived there was a big poo stain on the carpet, the sink was dirty, the commode unemptied, my mum in bed, the tea cold - I just think it does happen everywhere

I sincerely hope not. I, for one would not find it acceptable in my husband's home and neither would the Adult Service representative I would report it to immediately.

 

[KAnne]

I sincerely hope not. I, for one would not find it acceptable in my husband's home and neither would the Adult Service representative I would report it to immediately.

What if it's happened just prior to your visit? - bit ridiculous to complain when they getting round to sorting it out. Perhaps you go infrequently and so the odds are stacked at you never seeing it

 

[Pottingshed50]

This lady and her Mum need our 100% support at this time. Yes she has reservations about making trouble and who would not but needs must as the devil drives as they say. How would this lady feel if she said nothing and something dreadful happened to her Mum..

To the poster who said it may just have happened - where are you coming from - the breakfast was still there , the poo was still there, dried trousers were still there - just happened - not on your nelly. Sorry to disagree. I just feel so strongly about this I really do.

 

[KAnne]

This lady and her Mum need our 100% support at this time. Yes she has reservations about making trouble and who would not but needs must as the devil drives as they say. How would this lady feel if she said nothing and something dreadful happened to her Mum..

To the poster who said it may just have happened - where are you coming from - the breakfast was still there , the poo was still there, dried trousers were still there - just happened - not on your nelly. Sorry to disagree. I just feel so strongly about this I really do.

If that's directed at me, I didn't say the case in the OP 'had just happened'

 

[Saffie]

What if it's happened just prior to your visit? - bit ridiculous to complain when they getting round to sorting it out. Perhaps you go infrequently and so the odds are stacked at you never seeing it

If it had happened just prior to my visit I would expect to see someone clearing it up.
It would be pretty obvious if this is the case too.
I visit practically every day.

 

[Downnotout]

I would not have a problem if it had just happened. These things do.

But in our case it had happened the night before and I discovered it at 3 the next afternoon.

The Alzheimer's Society have been brilliant today.

I had a long meeting with them and their representative is accompanying me to a meeting with the CH manager tomorrow. I just feel so much better that there is someone there, supporting me and Mum and advising me what to do/ say. They made me understand that this is not acceptable, in any respect, and that my concerns were valid. It is just fantastic to find there is someone on your side and someone to listen to you and knows exactly what you are going through.

 

[limafoxtrot]

I would not have a problem if it had just happened. These things do.

But in our case it had happened the night before and I discovered it at 3 the next afternoon.

The Alzheimer's Society have been brilliant today.

I had a long meeting with them and their representative is accompanying me to a meeting with the CH manager tomorrow. I just feel so much better that there is someone there, supporting me and Mum and advising me what to do/ say. They made me understand that this is not acceptable, in any respect, and that my concerns were valid. It is just fantastic to find there is someone on your side and someone to listen to you and knows exactly what you are going through.

Great you are seeing the CH tomorrow. The Alzheimer's Society are fantastic to talk to when you have a problem. Good luck for tomorrow

 

[Saffie]

Well done ,Downnotout, that's a really good thing to do and I'm sure it will make you feel far more confident when speaking to the manager. Two people are better than one as it will give you time to think. You are certainly living up to your name! Good luck.

 

[SisterAct]

Your Mum is so lucky to have you fight her corner as are all the other TP posters loved ones on this site.
I worry about the people who have no one......it really upsets me to think if they can treat a person in this disgusting way who has a caring relative visiting them, how are they treating the the ones with no visitors

Upset.com

 

[jude50]

Well done you and well done the local AZ society. They are quite right it is not acceptable and you are right to raise your concerns. and it's always helpful when you have someone supporting you all the way. hope the meeting goes well. You are a brilliant and strong daughter be proud

Jude

 

[FifiMo]

Congratulations Downnotout, you've done the right thing and I hope your meeting goes well tomorrow.

Fiona

 

[jan1962]

hi there,

just read your post. want to wish you good luck for tomorrow. take notes and do not let them fob you off. this should not happen.

i have worked in CH for many a year as a Senior care assistant and would be mortified if i found that care staff were not carrying our their duties.



jan1962

 

[Pottingshed50]

Will be thinking of you today - be brave. So good that the A Society rep is coming with you , just the boost you need.

 

[stanleypj]

Well done. It isn't easy to take them to task like this and as people have suggested, not only will you be helping your mum but all the people who don't have someone to speak up for them.

I hope you will discover that this was some extraordinary aberration and not indicative of the general care.

Good luck.

 

[Downnotout]

The meeting went well today. I am reassured somewhat.

The manager was furious, almost in tears. She had not been on site at the time and said had she been it would never had happened but also that she knew that wasn't the point as seniors and deputies over two shifts had missed it and something had gone badly wrong.

She acknowledged it was neglect. That if social services or an official had discovered it that they would have been locked down and put in special measures and that she was grateful to me for highlighting the problem to enable her to do something about it.

She is launching a full investigation, will interview every staff member who covered those shifts, from the senior in charge, to the care assistants, to the cleaners. New food and fluid care plans will be put in place and mum will be on an hourly drink/ check report.

FWIW the wonderful lady from Alz Soc had a look around and came to meet mum afterwards. She told me that she thought the CH was actually a really good place and that she was impressed with the managers attitude. She has offered to go in and do some specific dementia training for them. It was just marvellous to have an advocate who knew what she was talking about on mine and mums side.

I am also grateful to all of you for hand holding and letting me know that I am not alone. I know this is only one small victory in the war we are fighting with Alzheimer's and that I still need to be vigilant but I will sleep much better tonight.

 

[Butter]

The manager was furious, almost in tears.

I should hope she was.

I am very pleased you feel that there is progress. Keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!

 

[stanleypj]

Excellent news. You certainly deserve to sleep well!