My mom has vascular dementia too. I have trouble getting her to leave her room, she lays down in her bed to watch tv, crochet and to do puzzle books, I don’t know why she wont sit up and afraid she will get bed sores. She only showers if told we are going somewhere and if she wants to go then she has to shower. She doesn’t recognise me most of the time and occasionally tells people that my husband is her husband. Yesterday I took her to Hobby Lobby and we have been there numerous times since she has moved in with us and she got in the store and said “ I will follow you since I have never been here before”. It gets harder every day. Good luck
What happens with sundowning?
- Thread starter Chris100
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My husband started in the early evening, all of a sudden a change would come over him. I could see him deep in thought with a n irritated look on his face. I’d sit quietly but it never worked, he’d find something to argue about, picking on me constantly and trying to catch me out whatever my answer was. Trying to second guess what he wanted me to say rarely worked. Most often it would end up with him either shouting at me for being violent, hopefully that isn’t your experience. We’re at a different stage now and medication helped
My OH gets sundowning syndrome, usually about 4pm. She gets agitated and says she hates her daughters and they want her dead so they can take her money. Or she would be better off dead etc. Her daughters provide no care and support for their Mother. I give her Resperidone 0.5mg prescribed by Community Mental Health. It take about an hour to take effect but does calm her down. She goes into Daycare 3 days a week 10:30 15:30 as I work part time. Try giving a hug as well that seems to work. Hope this helps
My mum still lives alone at the moment but with 4 carer visits a day. She has been having hallucinations for some months and talking about going home. Recently on a few occasions she has been missing from her house at the tea time care visit. She has mobility issues too and has been found on the main road nearby cold, upset and disorientated.
She does not revognise her house and is worried to go to the bedroom or use the loo because the person who lives in the house will be upset.
I am worried each late afternoon, early evening, constantly checking to see if notes on the carer app have been updated to make sure that she has not left again (i would phone her but she is losing the ability to use the phone, or differentiate it from the remote control)
It sounds as though residential care is becoming the safest option for your Mum. Once people start wandering it is no longer safe for them to live alone with just carers coming in.
I agree with Banjomansmate in that it may be time for you to look into residential care for her. Even with 4 carers a day they are still alone for 20+ hours each day. I moved mum into care when I realised she was starting to do dangerous things. Wandering off alone is one of the red flags to look out for. She needs to be kept safe now.
Sadly it is. They usually want to try 4 carers a day and won't consider residential until the 4 carers is shown to be not enough. They wanted to put an alarm on my mum's front door which would trigger their office to get someone to tell her to stay inside! Firstly I said that would freak her out (a voice out of no- where), would she listen to it anyway, and also what about all the time someone else goes in e.g the carers or me? Are they going to tell us all to stay in!
But this leaves your mum alone still for many hours through the day. Keep a log of everything which happens to be able to show them and stress to them that she is "a vulnerable person" and "at risk of harm" if she is left alone. Keep at them with instances where she is unsafe. Good luck with it.
