I wrote a few weeks ago about the problems we had had with my sisters allowing Mum to have a DNR on her notes. Unfortunately Mums condition has worsened over Christmas and the New year. She has been a resident in a care home for the past 3 years and seemed well looked after in the main but recently there has been a change of staff and this has hit her hard! She fights whenever personal care is attempted and was put on an ABC plan which meant that the home used between 2/3 carers when attempting her personal care. Mum has always been a very private person and this has had a terrible effect on her. She appeared to have decided before Christmas to give up, refused to eat or drink apart from an odd sip if one of us was with her. By New years eve she was in hospital was a urine infection and the doctors were concerned that her kidneys were failing! She appeared to be almost comatose! The hospital have over the last 3 days had her on a constant dextrose drip and this has appeared to recharge her energy level as she is now awake and sitting up. But she hasn't been out of bed, she is doubly incontinent and is still not eating or drinking! The hospital appears to have decided they want to release her back to the care home! But we know that if she is returned their she will spend her remaining days, weeks stuck in a bed, in her room occasionally getting visited by a member of staff ! The residential home cannot cater for someone who is bed ridden but what can we do? We would like her to go to the community hospital where they might be able to get her eating and drinking and up on her feet! But can we insist on it or insist on a nursing home placement? We just feel hopeless not knowing what to do for the best for Mum. My apologies if this sounds garbled I'm feeling a little frazzled!