I visited MH yesterday and while there was collared by a staff member who said they want to move MH to a different area, one where the residents are even more demented than he is, an entirely different part of the building. Their reason is that there is a new female resident whose room is down the corridor from MH's. He keeps going into her room and taking things. As we all know, most dementia patients do this and this is nothing new for MH. However, the family have complained, clearly not knowing anything about the vagaries of dementia and have asked that MH be moved. I am dead against this and wonder if they can do this without my permission. I feel the new resident should be moved as she has only been there a few weeks, whereas MH has been in his room for 12 months. I feel that to move him would have a negative effect on him. It would also upset me, struggling as I am with our separation and delayed grief. The staff do hourly tours to check on residents and steer MH out of trouble if needs be and as I hope to eventually live in the same town, I will be there frequently to distract him.
What do I do now?
- Thread starter Pusskins
- Start date
I feel that it should be the new resident that moves. It doesn’t seem reasonable to move your husband to a part of the building where the residents are further along in their dementia unless his dementia has got a lot worse.
This problem cropped up on another thread very recently (sorry, I can’t remember the name) and I recollect that a solution was offered.
This problem cropped up on another thread very recently (sorry, I can’t remember the name) and I recollect that a solution was offered.
I agree with you. I was in the same situation, where there was a new resident who found my mother's behaviour challenging although to be honest, I think it was the resident's family that was complaining. I was asked if I was okay with having my mother moved. i said no, she had been in that room for a couple of years. The director of nursing admitted that he asked me because I was easy to work with.
I would point out that the other resident's family would probably benefit from some education about the different behaviours dementia can bring on. Be calm, be nice, be firm. Don't get emotional, deal with it on the basis that your husband has been there longer and it would medically be more disruptive for him to be moved. Good luck.
I would point out that the other resident's family would probably benefit from some education about the different behaviours dementia can bring on. Be calm, be nice, be firm. Don't get emotional, deal with it on the basis that your husband has been there longer and it would medically be more disruptive for him to be moved. Good luck.
Hold on a minute! It is @Pusskins 's husband who is entering someone else's room without permission, not the new resident. Of course we understand that this happens in dementia and maybe the other family doesn't understand that. But that doesn't make it acceptable. I don't think we can comment on who should move where, we don't know the logistics of the care home and can't put ourselves in the position of the care home manager who knows the detail far better than we do. But we can say that every resident in a care home has the right to privacy and protection from uninvited intruders into their private room. The other family should not be expected to understand and brush it off, they should expect their relative to be protected.
In another thread someone pointed out that door locks are available that always allow the resident to exit but that require a key held by staff to enter. Some homes are fitted with them. That is the right way to ensure residents are safeguarded.
In another thread someone pointed out that door locks are available that always allow the resident to exit but that require a key held by staff to enter. Some homes are fitted with them. That is the right way to ensure residents are safeguarded.
@MartinWL That is a very good point about the door locks. I will mention it to the manager next time I visit. The other thing though, is that when dementia patients settle into their rest home, they come to accept it as their home. When living at home i.e. before entering care, they had free access to every room in their house so it's normal for them, I would imagine, to feel they can enter any room in the rest home also. Doesn't solve the current problem, but I don't feel MH should be moved. The lock sounds good. Will look into it.
