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What a hussy - LOL

angiebails

Registered User
Oct 8, 2009
227
crewe
I feel a bit sad at reading this post as to why everyone is justifying why they said what. We are all caring for people in terrible circumstances whether it is a loved on or someone working in a care home. We don't ridicule anyone we Just have the odd occasion to laugh at something which in any circumstances might be funny. I'm not laughing now as already my husband has got out of bed talking in riddles for the first time tonight. Last night he was up nearly all night, but when he asked my son where the dog was hiding this afternoon as it was time for his walk we did have a giggle. We have never had a dog.!!!
The forum lets us let off steam, have a laugh and to get help on difficult circumstances and if anyone can give me a laugh I need it right now. My neighbour said I could write a book with what funny things that my husband comes out with and before the dementia he did have a sense of humour and would have laughed at them too.


Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
 

Nanak

Registered User
Mar 25, 2010
1,973
60
Brisbane Australia
If I hadn't had this forum to share and laugh at times when I felt I couldn't deal with it all any more I wouldn't have got through Mums illness. And I wasn't even in the same country!
I doubt there is anyone on here malicious enough to enjoy someones dementia.
As was said earlier sometimes if you don't laugh you would cry and if you start crying the chances are you won't stop.
This has always been a forum you can find comfort, support and kindness and I for one (even though I am not on here much now) was always very grateful for that.
 

Scarlett123

Registered User
Apr 30, 2013
3,802
Essex
Thank you so much for your hugs kassy - they are so much appreciated. Angiebails, I think you've given the perfect example of the huge difference between mocking someone and laughing because of a situation.

When your husband was looking for the dog to take for a walk, it was funny, because not only don't you have a dog - you've never had a dog. After I had stopped John from driving, it created the most terrible atmosphere, and he accused me of taking away all his independence, only leaving him to take the dog for a walk. The park is at the end of our short road, with no roads to cross to reach the entrance.

One day, he came home, swinging the dog's lead, and when I said "where's the dog" he looked at me as if I was mad. He'd forgotten we had one. I bundled John into the car and drove the short distance to the park to find, thank God, Billy patiently sitting by the exit.

Obviously, this wasn't at all funny, and after that, John could only take Billy for a walk to the end of the road, and back again, with me watching from the window, and off-the-lead walks only happened if I went with. And before much longer, John couldn't go out on his own at all.

But when John was "helping" me unpack the shopping and tut-tutted, shaking his head and saying "you're useless - you've forgotten the cat food again", instead of bursting into tears at being called useless, I merely said "sorry love", and quickly turned my head, so he wouldn't see me laughing, because we've never had a cat!

What we do on TP is describe events that have happened that have brought a tiny bit of the sunshine of laughter into the lives of bone-weary carers. I cry for those who are having a rough time, because I know how hard it is. I'm pleased for those who relate something pleasant, perhaps a happy visit to a Care Home, and I'll laugh with those who've related something funny.

This place was, and is, my sanctuary, as it is for so many others. xxx
 
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jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,352
68
Roger and I spent many hours laughing together at things he had said or done; in the same way that we always had. He knew I would never laugh at him, but we shared the humour of situations; this made a huge difference to our lives. Yes, frequently, the funny things were quite sad, but we always tried to stay upbeat for each other.

How I wish we could laugh together now, but I do have those happy memories to take me through.
 

di65

Registered User
Feb 28, 2013
775
new zealand
I have refrained until now from posting any further on this thread as I have been a bit upset at the direction it was taking.
However, I have been following it and appreciate some of the comments posted.
I certainly wasn't laughing at my dear man, and how on earth was the newspaper reader meant to react?? She is one of the kindest people I have met, and is human, just like the rest of us.

I won't post further on this thread, as I feel that I have had to justify what was meant to be a light-hearted remark about a light-hearted moment in time. There are far too few of them these days:(
 

Kjn

Registered User
Jul 27, 2013
5,835
It's a shame anyone has to explain what they mean on TP when so many of us u derstand , feel the same pain, in the same situations and need each other so much for support.

I shall add a fourtheded:D
 

CeliaW

Registered User
Jan 29, 2009
5,643
Hampshire
Too late. It will have to be a 'fifthed'!
Tsk at crossed posts! Di,, you have lots of support and agreement from numerous people! xx

PS - KJN wouldn't have beaten me had I not spent ages trying to decide if the spelling should be fourthed or fourthded and copped out and used 4!
 

jan.s

Registered User
Sep 20, 2011
7,352
68
Hi Di. I found your post funny, because I think we need to keep our sense of humour. I always tried to smile when at the care home, and such comments helped to add a lightness to a visit.

I am sure that we all have an understanding of dementia, and wouldn't laugh at anyone.

I find it very sad that your innocent post has become an issue, especially for you. Please keep posting and sharing those special moments. Xx
 

turbo

Registered User
Aug 1, 2007
3,851
Hello Di65, I can only reiterate what Kassy said, no justification needed and please keep posting.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,682
Kent
I hope these supportive posts are helping you Di.

We all have different senses of humour but I will defend any carer who occasionally experiences a lighter side to dementia while at the same time respects the devastation the illness brings.

It brings on a wry smile rather than a belly laugh.