What a difference a day makes.........

Discussion in 'I have a partner with dementia' started by Helped, Jul 10, 2019.

  1. Helped

    Helped Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    24
    Female
    After my depressing day yesterday, Jim was really on form today.

    I find that if I take him out in the car and he is stimulated and active, he is a lot happier. So today I decided to take him to Chichester for a wander round the shops and on to one of his favourite places, Chichester Marina for lunch (if he fancied it). I normally have to exercise the patience of Job to get him out of the house, he spends ages looking for his keys, wallet, hat etc but today, with the exception that I had to point out he had his flies open, we got out the house in 5 minutes - result! He was ok walking round the shops and when I got him to the Marina he actually ate his lunch - double result!

    I have got something for him to do on Friday, I just need to think of something for tomorrow now to keep the momentum going, the chores will just have to wait!
     
  2. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,806
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to the forums @Helped. It's good to read of your positive day. I know from experience not to expect the same levels of energy and enthusiasm tomorrow, and you may need to rest and try again on Friday. Saying that, I hope you can have a few more good days together, especially with the good summer weather.
     
  3. Guzelle

    Guzelle Registered User

    Aug 27, 2016
    365
    Sheffield
    My OH wants to go out every day. We did go out walking with a group but this is too tiring for him now. He seems happy now to go shopping then for coffee and a bite to eat. We went fruit picking today with our daughter and baby grandson he wasn’t keen on the fruit picking but enjoyed the coffee and cake.
     
  4. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    10,214
    Female
    South coast
    Im glad you had a nice day. Please be careful not to do too much, though. I find that if I go out with OH I have to be careful not to overdo it as otherwise he is tired and grumpy the following day.
    It might be wise to have a rest day tomorrow before going out again on Friday.
     
  5. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,501
    Ireland
    My husband loved going out too. Every single day, I took him for a little look around the shops and for tea/cake in a cafe, until he started having great difficulty getting in/out of the car. He had a couple of days where he just couldn't remember how to get in, and one day, it took half an hour of bringing him back into the shop and walking back out to the car, in the hope that at some stage, it would "click" with him, and he'd be able to get in the car. Eventually, he just sat in as though he had had no difficulty!

    But as long as he was able to enjoy it, a daily trip out was good for him. He loved seeing different things, and loved going for a "treat" in a cafe (and he always ate whatever he got in the cafe, which was good, as he wouldn't eat much at home!). It was good for me too, as otherwise, I'd have been basically shut in with him all the time.
     
  6. Helped

    Helped Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    24
    Female
     
  7. Helped

    Helped Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    24
    Female
    You have just given me a great idea, I hadn't thought of fruit picking. I might give that a try as he loves strawberries
     
  8. Helped

    Helped Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    24
    Female
     
  9. Helped

    Helped Registered User

    Jul 9, 2019
    24
    Female
    Your situation sounds the same as mine. If I don't take him out he gets grumpy and depressed, just falls asleep in the chair. If I take him somewhere, then he is really happy and seems to enjoy it wherever I take him. Like your OH he is quite happy to go for coffee or to a pub. He can still go to the bar and order a round of drinks but he can't handle money. It took me ages to work out why he always had such a load of loose change in his pockets until I realised that, regardless of how much change he had, he always handed over a note and got even more change ! But I think it is important that he at least tries to maintain his independence for as long as possible, so I just empty his pockets at night.

    He also has problems getting in and out of the car but so far hasn't got stuck. I find that he does get tired walking so I always make sure we are never too far away from a cafe/pub so he can sit down. I collect antiques and on one occasion I took him to Shepton Mallet Antiques Fair. It took about 2.5 hours to drive there and then there was quite a lot of walking round this huge site, but he really enjoyed it and I made sure that he could sit down and was fed/watered regularly. Its really just a matter of not over doing it.
     

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