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What a day!!!

exhausted 2015

Registered User
Jul 5, 2015
624
stoke on trent
Sorry just come on to let off some steam... Went to bed at 12.00am sat checked dad... Sleeping soundly got into bed head not touched pillow.. Dad's up peeing all over landing carpet.. Got him sorted.. 1pm dad out of bed again.. Toilet.. Sorted asking for toffees not wanting to repeat myself over and over this went on until 6am.. Fast asleep then.. 7.30am heard him in bathroom popped my head in to find he was awfully soiled and was smearing it everywhere got the disposable gloves on again and set to work.. 8.30 gave dad his breakfast.. Asleep again by 9.00am.. Bless he woke an hour later asking for breakfast!! the day went on much the same and around 6.30pm had to relive him of what he had pulled out of his pants.. Poo of course.. Got him to bed later.. Sat down put my feet up then I heard the call.. Went upstairs to check him and can you believe he wanted to know if he'd had his breakfast!!! 11pm he was dozing.. Poured myself a glass of wine.. Sorry just wanted to let off some steam xx
 

tryingmybest

Registered User
May 22, 2015
631
Oh my what a day. So sorry you're not getting any rest at all. Sending hugs although that's not terribly helpful I know. Xx
 

theunknown

Registered User
Apr 17, 2015
416
Exhausted, you make me realise that in some ways I was lucky that my mum went from living independently, to being sectioned, to moving into a care home. The whole thing has been so, so distressing, but I'm not sure I would have been able to put in the care that you're obviously doing for your dad. It's so wrong the way that so-called social care has been separated from health care in relation to mental health and conditions like dementia. Why are those with these conditions, along with their unpaid carers, being treated as a different class of citizen?

On a different note, I'd advise you not to go down the slippery slope of having a couple of glasses of wine. You need at least a bottle x
 

exhausted 2015

Registered User
Jul 5, 2015
624
stoke on trent
Exhausted, you make me realise that in some ways I was lucky that my mum went from living independently, to being sectioned, to moving into a care home. The whole thing has been so, so distressing, but I'm not sure I would have been able to put in the care that you're obviously doing for your dad. It's so wrong the way that so-called social care has been separated from health care in relation to mental health and conditions like dementia. Why are those with these conditions, along with their unpaid carers, being treated as a different class of citizen?

On a different note, I'd advise you not to go down the slippery slope of having a couple of glasses of wine. You need at least a bottle x
Hello the unknown.. It is extremely difficult I am trying to go on for as long as possible but each day gives the same challenges it's only a matter of time before I have to admit that he needs more care than I can give him but until then I will have my glasses of wine thank you xx would dearly loved a full bottle but dare not because I have the night shift to do xx thank you for reading. Xx
 

theunknown

Registered User
Apr 17, 2015
416
I know nothing about your life Exhausted, or your dad's, so as an amateur in this experience I'm not going to be so presumptious to think I could advise you. I'll just speak from my own experience. When my mum was on a mental health ward, and then sectioned (eventually being on a 117 order), it was probably some of the worst months of my life. The thought of her never going back to her home and being in a care home horrified me. I naively assumed before all this was the worst that could happen would be her needing to move in with me and my husband. We've never had an easy or affectionate relationship, but my respect for my mum meant that I would never want us to be in situation of not taking care of her.

I just wanted to say that I've gone from being horrified at the idea that my mum would be in a care home, to being relieved and accepting that she's in this environment. I suppose it helps that she's much closer to us than she used to be, and we're able to pay a top-up for her to be in the home I liked. It helped me that the decision was taken out of my hands becausing of the sectioning. They weren't going to allow her to go back to her own home. In other words, I had no choice but to find a placement for her. The neighbours in her close-knit community were largely responsible for the authorities getting involved. And I mean that in a positive way. It's much easier for someone being a bit removed to understand that something needs to be done. Hope you manage to grab some sleep xx
 

fizzie

Registered User
Jul 20, 2011
2,730
I think you are AMAZING!!! Absolutely brilliant...but........you really really need some rest - you must be truly Exhausted.
thinking of you and the amazing love you have xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 

exhausted 2015

Registered User
Jul 5, 2015
624
stoke on trent
I think you are AMAZING!!! Absolutely brilliant...but........you really really need some rest - you must be truly Exhausted.
thinking of you and the amazing love you have xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thank you fizzie I am not that amazing just a daughter who can't let go thank you so much for your words it's given me a real boost going to try to get an hour now just back from attending to dad again... Good night xx
 

Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,239
Cotswolds
Well, I take my hat off to you, Exhausted :) xx

I drive myself pretty hard, but there's no way I could do what you're doing. A loving daughter, indeed. Do make sure you get some rest when you can, won't you?

Thinking of you :)

Lindy xx
 

cobden28

Registered User
Jan 31, 2012
442
Landing carpet.

If your dad makes a habit of urinating on the carpets in your house, perhaps you need to think about replacing the carpets with contract-quality vinyl flooring? It's a lot easier to keep clean and some designs of this type of flooring look almost exactly like rather posh laminate flooring.

Washable rugs are easy to clean - much more so that a carpet. Just pop them in the machine and hang to dry on the line/drape over the landing bannister to dry.
 

Lindy50

Registered User
Dec 11, 2013
5,239
Cotswolds
Carpet

I replaced mum's bathroom and bedroom carpets with 'anti slip' vinyl which worked very well, looked okay and was easy to clean.

I was uncertain about mats though, in case they were a trip hazard. So I got a couple and just put them down when needed, eg in the bathroom, then neurotically took them back up again....!!

All the best

Lindy xx
 

exhausted 2015

Registered User
Jul 5, 2015
624
stoke on trent
Carpet

I replaced mum's bathroom and bedroom carpets with 'anti slip' vinyl which worked very well, looked okay and was easy to clean.

I was uncertain about mats though, in case they were a trip hazard. So I got a couple and just put them down when needed, eg in the bathroom, then neurotically took them back up again....!!

All the best

Lindy xx
Hi thank you for the suggestions maybe worth looking into have floor covering in bathroom and kitchen also downstairs toilet.. I am fortunate as my brother can supply me with hospital standard odour neutralisers and virucidal sanitisers etc so for now can keep cleaning. Xx
 

exhausted 2015

Registered User
Jul 5, 2015
624
stoke on trent
You're a trooper. I take my hat off to you. Sending a mental bucket-full of Merlot your way!

LS
Hello longsuffering thank you for the merlot!! I. Don't consider myself a trooper just doing what needs to be done... Will enjoy a glass of the virtual merlot later when dad is in bed before the middle of the night shift begins.. Thanks again to you for your kindness and to everyone that has commented the support is very much appreciated bless you all xx
 

crafty_coff

Registered User
Aug 11, 2015
3
poor you

Sorry just come on to let off some steam... Went to bed at 12.00am sat checked dad... Sleeping soundly got into bed head not touched pillow.. Dad's up peeing all over landing carpet.. Got him sorted.. 1pm dad out of bed again.. Toilet.. Sorted asking for toffees not wanting to repeat myself over and over this went on until 6am.. Fast asleep then.. 7.30am heard him in bathroom popped my head in to find he was awfully soiled and was smearing it everywhere got the disposable gloves on again and set to work.. 8.30 gave dad his breakfast.. Asleep again by 9.00am.. Bless he woke an hour later asking for breakfast!! the day went on much the same and around 6.30pm had to relive him of what he had pulled out of his pants.. Poo of course.. Got him to bed later.. Sat down put my feet up then I heard the call.. Went upstairs to check him and can you believe he wanted to know if he'd had his breakfast!!! 11pm he was dozing.. Poured myself a glass of wine.. Sorry just wanted to let off some steam xx
I'm so sorry to hear of your evening, sounds like you didn't get much rest, I have worked with patients with similair problems, have you considered full time care?, perhaps to get your dad's timing better, sleeping meds? it's so difficult, I know I would put my mum into full time care if this happend to her, though I understand that dilema. you can't go on daily like this
 

exhausted 2015

Registered User
Jul 5, 2015
624
stoke on trent
I'm so sorry to hear of your evening, sounds like you didn't get much rest, I have worked with patients with similair problems, have you considered full time care?, perhaps to get your dad's timing better, sleeping meds? it's so difficult, I know I would put my mum into full time care if this happend to her, though I understand that dilema. you can't go on daily like this
Hi thank you I know I won't be able to do this for much longer it's 24/7 care it's just forcing myself to let go going to book another weeks respite soon.. About the meds.. The memory clinic didn't think it was a good idea has it may make him too drowsy.. He is a little unsteady on his feet and has not long since had an hip operation.. Will get diagnosis from memory clinic early next month... So maybe once I know for certain I could ask his gp if he would prescribe something
Thanks again for showing an interest
Take care xx