Hello all you lovely people. Sorry for going AWOL. Things here have been a bit odd recently and I've been trying to get my head round it all.
After weeks of watching mum go downhill fast and thinking the end was very near and trying to come to terms with it all, things have taken a sudden turn around.
They have made some very slight adjustments to mum's medications and miraculously things have improved quite dramatically
A couple of weeks ago mum was sleeping at least 18 hrs a day, barely eating (at times having to be fed with a syringe), barely being able to speak, doubly incontinent, completely imobile, not recognising anyone etc etc.
The change in medication has resulted in mum suddenly knowing dad, recognising my sister and I as being familiar (although not actually knowing who we are), eating well (although still needing spoon fed), being aware of needing the toilet, speaking quite clearly (even being able to join in with conversations), she is still unable to walk but has started to stand up unassisted ( this has increased her falls risk considerably).
It has been quite a dramatic turn around! When dad visited her the other day he rang to give me an update, he even gave mum the phone so she could say hello (must be almost 2 years since I had a phone conversation with mum!). I visited on Thursday + took the baby with me, mum noticed the baby for the first time ever, was interacting with him and when my sister visited on Saturday mum mentioned that the baby had been to visit
It is amazing to see the change and to have a little bit of mum back. We were so close to the end + now it is as if we've gone back in time. I am of course thrilled but also my head is reeling a bit. We had all started to come to terms with losing her and sad though we were we felt thankful that mum's struggles with this illness would soon be over. Now while we are very grateful to have some more time with her we also know that at some point we are going to have to live through the hell of the past few months when she inevitably takes another down turn.
The staff are very surprised at the dramatic improvement. There has even been mention of physio to see if they can help mum regain some mobility
They are monitoring things very carefully as at the moment the agitation hasn't returned + they are hoping to avoid that happening.
My fear now is that as there has been such an improvement she may be deemed fit for discharge. I think moving her now would probably bring on another downturn and the thought of her suddenly going downhill without staff around who know her and us is scary.
Also I feel very guilty and an awful daughter to say this but part of me was ready for all of this to be over and to move on with our lives, now we're back in limbo jusy waiting for the next down turn. It's a terrible thing to admit to, but I was ready to say goodbye and in a way I feel cheated. Dementia continues to mess with all our lives and mum is back to being aware of her living hell.
For just now all we can do is take things a day at a time and enjoy having quality time with mum.
This weekend I have come down with a horrid cold and chesty cough, today the 2 little ones seem to be under the weather too. Will need to give visiting mum a miss until we are germ free
Sorry if I worried you all by my silence. Was just struggling with the latest twist + turn on this roller coaster!