im lost totally lost, and im sure most of you know exactly what i mean, dad died yesterday hes had dementia for the past 7 years, went down hill bad last few weeks and put ona syringe driver 3 days ago, but we were lucky, we were able to keep dad at home all the time , and sadly died at home, no social care were involved, mainly having one carer for 18 months and just taken on a second carer a few months ago, but because it was my life 16 hours a day 7 days a week im now thinking , How? What? when? and how?
Well what now.
- Thread starter farmgirl
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Hello @farmgirl. I`m so sorry to read about your dad.
It sounds as if he was cared for so well. Just absence of the routine and demands of caring will be difficult for you to adjust to on top of the loss of your dearly loved dad.
Give yourself time now. Do what needs to be done with regard to funeral arrangements and other practicalities and then allow yourself to take life as it comes until you start to heal.
It sounds as if he was cared for so well. Just absence of the routine and demands of caring will be difficult for you to adjust to on top of the loss of your dearly loved dad.
Give yourself time now. Do what needs to be done with regard to funeral arrangements and other practicalities and then allow yourself to take life as it comes until you start to heal.
So sorry to hear of your loss. There are the formal things to deal with which will keep you busy. Once those are sorted just move forward at your own pace. There are no rules to follow, there will be a big change in your life and you need time to adjust. Wishing you strength for the weeks to come.
@farmgirl I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
When we lose the loved one we have been caring for it does leave us feeling all at sea as we try to get used to life without being a carer and without the one we love and miss so much.
I found that the day to day organising and form filling that follows a death kept me busy for some months, with little time to really dwell on my loss, lack of routine or focus. Eventually though, the paperwork fades away and there is a big void to fill.
There is no rush to come to terms with this new way of life and it's lack of routine and changed purpose. Baby steps are fine - there is a lot of adjusting to do. Gradually, when you are ready you will know what kind of opportunities and possibilities you want to look for as you move forward - but until then don't be frightened to just rest and heal.
When we lose the loved one we have been caring for it does leave us feeling all at sea as we try to get used to life without being a carer and without the one we love and miss so much.
I found that the day to day organising and form filling that follows a death kept me busy for some months, with little time to really dwell on my loss, lack of routine or focus. Eventually though, the paperwork fades away and there is a big void to fill.
There is no rush to come to terms with this new way of life and it's lack of routine and changed purpose. Baby steps are fine - there is a lot of adjusting to do. Gradually, when you are ready you will know what kind of opportunities and possibilities you want to look for as you move forward - but until then don't be frightened to just rest and heal.
sad news @farmgirl my condolences
I hope it's of comfort that you were able to look after your dad at home
be easy on yourself, maybe think of one small thing you'd like to do each day, a walk, bake a cake, buy some flowers, start reading a book, watch a film in the afternoon ... as others say, a small step at a time
I hope it's of comfort that you were able to look after your dad at home
be easy on yourself, maybe think of one small thing you'd like to do each day, a walk, bake a cake, buy some flowers, start reading a book, watch a film in the afternoon ... as others say, a small step at a time
Thank you , it's such an odd feeling but I still have mum who carnt really be left for long I'm sure I will soon settle down
