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Well, fun and games with dadhe

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
I phoned the care home this morning to ask for his assessment to be printed out for the doctor.
Spoke to one of the HCA3 who was just about to phone me as dad apparently wants to stay.
He was worried about the carers (I have changed his care package so he can go out with them and do his shopping once a fortnight) rather than me as he is very heavy in his wheelchair.
So I phoned and cancelled the care package for today and the taxi. I had to wait for the deputy to phone me back as I didn’t know if the room was free. After the deputy had found out it was from Head Office he is staying another week.
The deputy went to speak to him at my request as I’m always feeling I’m piggy in the middle. Apparently he broke down in tears as he had geared himself up for the taxi ride and the carers. He was asked if he wants to stay permanently.He has consented to stay another week but it has fluctuated from that to “I don’t care where I live”.
I told her that he does this all the time . He has had his Mirtazapine increased when at home to 30 mg.I told her that he threatened to shoot himself (no gun) but that is why it was increased.
I have asked her to see if he can be assessed as I have said all along that he has fluctuating capacity. She is going to leave it a few days and see how he goes... Meanwhile my nerves have gone and I feel for him .
 

Sarasa

Registered User
Apr 13, 2018
1,696
@TNJJ - I'm glad your dad is staying another week. I wonder if you can organise him to stay permanently, but tell him it is just for a week at a time. I originally booked mum into her care home for respite care, but before she actually went there I'd changed it to permanent, with the idea that if it didn't work out I could give a month's notice.
It sounds like he'd be happier there than at home, maybe he just doesn't like the idea of a permanent change.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
@TNJJ - I'm glad your dad is staying another week. I wonder if you can organise him to stay permanently, but tell him it is just for a week at a time. I originally booked mum into her care home for respite care, but before she actually went there I'd changed it to permanent, with the idea that if it didn't work out I could give a month's notice.
It sounds like he'd be happier there than at home, maybe he just doesn't like the idea of a permanent change.
I wish I could but they ask him. But I am going to write the pros and cons on paper for him to see.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
Going to see dad tomorrow but believe it or not my knee joint has been popping in and out of my leg. He is supposed to be going home Monday but if knee is playing up he will have to stay. This osteoarthritis is no fun!
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
411
Sorry that you're having a tough time yourself, as well as having your dad to sort. I hope he will settle in his respite care and agree to stay on a permanent basis.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,727
cornwall
I went and saw dad today. He is coming home Monday.(Deputy Manager has asked him twice) I have told the carers and will be booking the wheelchair taxi tomorrow.

I only popped in for an hour as I could tell that he was not in a good mood just by the look on his face. He is more confused as he asked me 3 times in a row what day of the week it was. Even though he had the local paper on his lap.
He liked the lights on the Christmas tree but couldn’t see the point of Christmas.
He has definitely declined mentally.
He talks to people but not much. He is not joining in with activities (no surprise) Definitely being a Victor Meldrew. He asked if I was coming down again at the weekend but I told him No as I have to be at his on Monday.(18 miles each way.)Not happy with that but hey ho.
He is looking well . Nice and clean. Apparently they have lost his comb and I have heard about that for the last week.
They are making him walk quite a lot with his frame. I have noticed his ankles are swollen more as the socks are rolled down but dad refuses to drink water.
Apparently when he goes home he will be doing “Nothing “ . I told him I couldn’t see the difference as he does “Nothing “ in the home.
The manager reckons that she will see us before Christmas.. Time will tell..
 

Bunpoots

Volunteer Host
Apr 1, 2016
4,762
Nottinghamshire
Hopefully he’ll change his mind again before Monday @TNJJ
you really don’t need this. I can imagine how difficult it will be for you especially with your bad knee. I had problems with my knee popping out of joint last year (hyper mobility) which was made worse by having to look after dad and pick him up off the floor regularly so I know how disabling it is to have knees which won’t co-operate!
 

anxious annie

Registered User
Jan 2, 2019
411
Sorry to hear about all your struggles, both personally and with your dad, and hoping that things will improve soon.