out of my hands
Since my last post there has been a lot of change in my life, my husband is out of hospital but in a nursing home, he has deterioated since mid June and after being in hospital for nearly 8 weeks he was transferred to the home last week he has multi infarct dementia amongst other problems .I am so glad that decision was taken out of my hands, he cannot come home I could not look after him mainly because he is unpredictable and unstable can be verbally and physically aggressive Refuses his medication and food has lost so much weight and is very weak.We have as a family decided DNR the Dr agreed . The staff at the home are kind ,experienced and caring but I hate going there because I have to come home without Graham . If he is pleasant the visits are not so bad but if he is in a bad mood I leave in tears
Having been through the discharge assessment process without help of social worker ( no surprise, he went on holiday and didnt tell me) my advice is flatly and absolutely refuse to take your loved one out of hospital until you have checked and double checked his assessment .The hospital tried to discharge graham without assessment completed ,I flatly refused to allow it,his assessments were re done quickly (amazing how quickly the wheels turn when they need to) and he was then awarded fully funded nursing care for 12 weeks, a little different from the original banding. The money was not my main concern I just wanted fairness and an explanation.Forewarned is forearmed, get as much information as possible, Alzheimers website is a wonderful source,Age Concern
another,and do not be afraid to say NO, too many people give in.If in doubt check it out, and do not be afraid to question everything.
The emotional turmoil does not get any better up one day down another, guilty,sad, relieved, rested,missing graham,a large void in my day that I must learn to fill but then feeling guilty for trying.I hope that as time goes on I will get used to this new life surely things must get better
barbie