We became a number today. Big Brother


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
Need's must, when the devil drive's

The young lady from the carer's assessement team, she was very nice when she called today.
Told me I needed help, as a carer.
Yes, to some extent, I do, I need a lot of help, but MY WAY.
But, not a massarge, or reflexology. I do need a haircut.
When I said we became a number today, we did.
It, this number, is on the top of every form we have filled in.
Is this us ? number 123? NO,NO, NO.
We are RON & BARB --------
That is all we want.
The money and the freedom to spend it the way we want.
Ron to have a swim, with someone with him
Ron to have a sauna.
Ron, to, well, be Ron.
As for me.
Well, two hour's or so a week. Just to get in the car, and go - anywhere. Even, sit in a car park, on my own.
Oh sod it.


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Dear Barb

Don't worry about the number. It doesn't matter.

You're on the books. You're going to get some help. I don't know what form that help will take, but I know I was so thankful when I got it, they could have called me what they liked!:eek:

Never mind the forms. If you get carers to help, you will be Ron and Barb to them, I promise!


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
Hi Silvia, Hi Hazel. Thanks

You are both right.
But, so am I.
I am getting so dammed annoyed at the way we are treated.
ALL of us.
Do not get me wrong, some of the social services people are very good, some are very bad.
We do not want to be a number.
Does it justify, we get help, NO.
They - who are THEY, tell us help is there if needed. Oh yeh !
So why do we all have to search for it ?
Why are we asking question's on this web site?
If there is help ?
None of this is directed at any AZ user's.
If I cannot let rip here, where the he-- can I.
Thank's allX


Registered User
Jan 4, 2008
east sussex

Dear Barb.

You do have to be in the system to get any help. I found this out when i was caring for my Ron. I got 3 hours to do my shopping when a lovely lady from x roads came to keep an eye on Ron they would watch telly or she would put his Red Arrows tape on,he used to watch it all the time.

The SW set up some respite in a lovely SS home ,he was happy to go there as there was music and dancing and it gave me a chance to visit some old friends in Spain.

So Barb it may not be all you want but please take what you can.

Love Cynthia x x


Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
East Midlands
Hello Barb,

Not been around for a while..just catching up!

I really wish you would accept some help..as Cyn said..even if it's a couple of hours a week ..you do need a break.

It makes a big difference, doing "normal" things without having to worry about anyone but yourself.

Caring becomes a way of life...it's too easy to forget that there is another world out there that you are also a part of..
I have felt myself sometimes that I want to shut myself away from the world and be with Eric..and make our own world.
But I think the support we have enables me to have a break and be stronger for Eric.
Please take care of yourself.

Love to you and Ron..gigi xx


Registered User
Aug 9, 2007
Hi Barb

I am sorry that you feel like a number. It does not feel good. It is a loss of your individuality, it is a sign of progression of the disease, it is the fact that you feel that you are failing by accepting help.

I am an accountant though and to me a number represents a picture. This will be the case to a good SW too. That number will become a picture of you and Ron, it will symbolise your life and what can be done to help, it means that there is an open door to help rather than a Great Barrier, it is a way through.

I hope that you get the help that you both need, in a form that is good and aids you both.



PS I do hope that today is better.


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
Thank you, all of you

I will now direct my feeling toward me. Some there, there, there time.
I am going to have my hair done tomorrow.
Mum and my brother and SIL will look after Ron for a few hour's.
Yes I will take help, I will have my carer,s assessment - next week.
And, yes, Crossroad's sound's a wonderful idea.
Because I think it will also help Ron to have a break from me. See new faces.
Wish me luck:)
Mrs Angry has gone, welcome to Mrs - I will be happy:D

You will all be sick of me soonX


Registered User
Nov 16, 2007
East Midlands
Hello Barb!

I don't think we'll ever be sick of you..

And Mrs Angry/Happy/Frustrated/...etc...is the path we tread..

We know that..Living it is different for all of us...

We do our best..and accepting help is essential so that we can do our best.....:)

Love to you both gigi xx


Registered User
Jun 3, 2005
Barb sweetie, we're all numbers

one way or another.

I know Mum's National Insurance number off by heart from the many forms I have had to fill in on her behalf. Couldn't tell you my own (NI No.) without looking it up, but I suppose my turn will come around eventually. That's just the way our world IS.

Don't waste your precious mental energy fighting against it.

Best wishes


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
Got the new hair style today

Hi all
Feel better, hair look's good, I feel good.
Two hour's out on my own.:)
When I got home SIL was still on my computer looking for a flight to Malta, they are going to live there. They leave beginning of May, and Mum is going with them for a few week's.
Flight booked, they are on there way, lucky so and so's.
You know what, why don't Ron and I go, we could follow a few day's later - we have now been invited.
Just need a flight, and a few other thing's. And, thank you to the person, they know who they are, for the kindest offer to help us on our holiday, whenever we go. But, I will PM them later.
Told you all, you will get sick of me.
Mrs HappyX:D

Short girl

Registered User
Mar 22, 2008
The Prisoner?!

Reading your thread the series The Prisoner from the 60s sprang into my jumbled mind - the opening bit went sort of -
Goes on about number one, two etc, then says to Patrick Mghoohan "You are number 6" he replies, "I'm not a number - I'm a free man!"
Seriously the government loves numbers and statistics and targets - we just pawns pushed through a system. Hey I work for them too and it feels like we're just shoving people through a system these days and 'customer care' does not exist!


Registered User
Mar 6, 2007
Wigan, Lancs
Hi Barb, aka Mrs. Happy :D

I have spent 2 hours trawling the net in readiness for the meeting with SW tomorrow and found all sorts of information such as the Dept of Health's 'Fair Access to Care Services' and so on.

I will post the links if you would find them helpful.

Oh that poor SW, I hope she isn't expecting an easy day tomorrow. :eek:

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Oh Sue, How i`d love to be a fly on the wall, when you and the SW come `head to head`.
Please post with details of the meeting. ;)


Account Closed
Nov 23, 2007
Thank's again all

Speech Therapist tomorrow.
Waste of time.:rolleyes:
She is so nice.:) Kind and -well, her time would be well spent with a stroke patient. Because, with the all the hope I have, Ron is not going to improve.
Thank you National Health.
But it an'int going to work. It is NOT what he need's.
However, wait for it, I will find a man/women who can.
Mrs Happy, lemisrables,moaning minnie, big mouth, etc