Hi Debmar
Like many folk on this forum, I guess, I can empathise with your experiences so far. I care for my wife who was diagnosed just over 4 years ago, although it had taken a couple of years of worry, concern and anguish to get to that stage (we are both 67 now).
I found that what made things worse, was the fact that we had watched her mum's partner go through a traumatic decline due to vascular dementia. They say "ignorance is bliss" and I certainly found that knowing what I was potentially going to have to deal with, made it initially harder to cope with? I found myself switching over channels, if anything to do with dementia came on the TV and generally tried burying my head in the sand.
However, my wife's aunt heard about a local dementia support monthly coffee morning, which we went to and the lovely folk there were very supportive and pointed me in the direction of some carer support organisations, who have been fantastic.
So as my wife has slowly "disappeared" into her own happy (thankfully) place, I have at least been able to arrange for a respite visitor who comes every Monday afternoon, 3 hours at a dementia "activity morning" each Tuesday and a Day centre every Wednesday.
That said, I can totally understand how you feel when the door closes - I do often feel very lonely, despite having two loving grown-up sons, family and friends who are all great. I think it seems worse at this time of year, when everyone else is talking about holiday plans, weekends away and days out etc.
I have taken what for me is a big step, and arranged for my wife to go for a week's respite care at the end of August. I have been invited to go to Majorca for a friend's 50th birthday celebration, which I am looking forward to, but with a lot of trepidation as to how my wife will be and what she will be like when returning home.
So I wish you well in your continuing "journey" and as for words of wisdom, take any help you can get.
Phil