My husband has Alzheimers and last Saturday he was suddenly gripped with severe stomach pains I dialled 111 to describe his symptoms and the decision was made to send an ambulance crew. They arrived promptly and having checked him over decided to take him to A&E Wolverhampton. This was approx 9pm, we finally left the hospital at 4.30 am. The whole experience would have been distressing for anyone in elderly years (he is 74, I am 63) but for someone with dementia who was so obviously disorientated, the experience was beyond belief. It is worrying that there is no specialist provision for someone with dementia. Dont get me wrong, I know anyone who is in A&E is there for good reason and probably in as much distress, but the lack of provision and understanding left me worrying that this illness is still not catered for by the medical profession.
My Mil somehow managed to badly cut her leg, on her way up to bed one evening - OH took her to A&E, and was there for around 8 hours overnight, before they finally saw a Doctor. During that 8 hours, Mil's thought she was on a ship, thought she needed to escape, called out abusive comments to nurses, demanded to leave and basically got as upset and agitated as you would expect of a then 74 year old with dementia. The only concession made was that she and OH were moved to a side room - and OH felt that was more about giving the staff some peace, rather than for Mil's benefit. Within 10 minutes of leaving the hospital, Mil couldn't remember having been there - but the impact on her emotions, and therefore the upset and agitation, lasted for several days afterwards.
Outside of the dementia specialism, its been my experience that few medical staff have even the smallest clue about dementia, sadly - after that experience, I had to take Mil to see the district nurse at our GP's surgery to have her dressings changed. The appointments were 3 - 4 days apart. I explained that Mil had dementia, that she couldn't remember not to leave the dressings alone and would remove them in between visits, and I asked for spare dressings to take home - I was told that they were ' very expensive' and advised to 'keep an eye' on Mil and stop her - I explained that I'd have to sleep at some point, and couldn't watch her 24/7. So the DN's solution was to then lean close to Mil, and speaking very loudly, slowly and clearly, she told Mil that she must leave the dressing alone, she mustn't remove it and when Mil promised that she wouldn't touch it, the DN gave me a satisfied nod as if to say 'There you go - problem solved'
Dealing with medical issues, especially emergency situations, is stressful for both our loved ones and us - a little more awareness from the medical staff we encounter would go an awful long way to easing some of that stress for us all!