Visit back home etc

[Familyfor]

My wife has been in a dementia specialist care home for two weeks, I visit every day, and we go out in the car roughly every other day to the seaside or local places of interest.
The home is ten miles away and excellent, the care is extremely good with a lot of well trained staff, it is a clean place and serves very good food.
Her room is large with several of her pictures now hanging on the walls, and excellent views over the gardens and farmland.
My wife is bored as there does not seem to be much going on in her day room, although the other residents talk to one another and try to include my wife.
The home is split into three sections, from freedom to move around to pretty secure, and my wife is in the free area.
She really wants to come back home and lives for my visits.
Obviously I want to see her as much as possible while we can still enjoy our outings.
Two questions, am I visiting too often and would it be damaging to bring her home for a few hours?
I think I know the answer to the second question.

 

[janma221]

Such a difficult one to answer. For what its worth I don't think you are visiting too often she must look forward to your visits. As for taking her home I think that might be too upsetting for her. I took my Mum up to a home near us today and she still thinks she is going back home one day. Horrible illness and I hope you find much support and friendship on here. Keep posting.
Jan xx

 

[Butter]

I don't think there is such a thing as visiting too often. My father visited my mother every day - he usually spent the whole afternoon with her. There was another man visiting his wife who did the same thing. The rest of us went less but regularly - I think we were able to contribute a little to the life in the home and even be of some use to over-worked staff with challenging residents.

As for a visit home - I really think that depends on you and your wife: both together and as individuals. Some people tell of successful home visits and easy returns to the carehomes. Others cannot even think of such an idea. And others try them and find they do not help at all.

All the best and I wish you luck and courage - I hope you find this site as helpful as I have done.

 

[Familyfor]

Thank you for your replies, I now reckon that no one situation is the same so will follow my instincts, and report back.

 

[janma221]

Thank you for your replies, I now reckon that no one situation is the same so will follow my instincts, and report back.

I think the only way to go is to follow your instincts as you know your wife better than anyone. All the best but do keep coming back on here as there are many in the same situation.
Jan xx