Very new, just saying hello

[Steve1723]

Hi,
My Dad in June 2022 showed very concerning signs that something was wrong. He was 87 lived alone and was very independent. I guess during the pandemic I must has missed the warning signs. I moved in with him but he just got worse, eventually being sectioned for 8 months with psychosis.
During the 8 months I took him out from the MH Hospital over weekends and moved in with him at his home. However, this was not ideal as his psychosis and paranoid behaviour was worsening. My brother decided as him and his wife were retired to sell their home and move in with my Dad. Whilst this was being finalised we took my Dad out of the hospital over the weekend as usual and after staying with him on Friday, my brother took over from me on Saturday afternoon and I headed home for some sleep. Unfortunately my Dad called me an hour later very distressed as my brother had suffered a heart attack whilst alone with my Dad. Despite my poor Dad trying to perform CPR my brother sadly passed away.
As I work full time, often away from home my Dad was admitted to a lovely care home (which he hates). It has been 18 months of DoLs assessments, Social Workers, Court of Protection, Solicitors and me educating myself on Sectioning, MH and his most recent diagnosis of Lewy Body. The illness has completely changed him from being just the loveliest man to an angry, paranoid, frightened and frail chap. On his 88th birthday this year he attempted to hit a fellow care home resident and fell and fractured his hip. He has been hospitalised for the last 6 weeks, where his psychosis is at the worst level I have seen. I’m hoping some of it is delirium and that what I am now seeing is not now the norm.
I have struggled to sleep for what seems like ever, which is impacting my job if I’m honest. So this message is hopefully the first step in me taking some control back.

I have learnt that dementia is an awful illness and that I need to develop a thick skin. But hoping for some advice please from any of you that have found a way to handle this better than I have?

It must have taken its toll because on my last visit to my Dad, a chap asked if my Dad was my brother. He’s 88 and I’m 59 😀

Thanks in advance,

Take care,

Steve

 

[canary]

Hello @Steve1723 and welcome

That must have been a shock hearing about your brother. Im sorry
It will also have been a shock that your dad has broken his hip.
I think at this stage there is just no knowing which way it will go - there are extremely variable outcomes here. I think you can only wait and see what happens
He is safe where he is, so try and step back a little. Do something nice for yourself, even if its just going for a walk
xx

 

[northumbrian_k]

Hi @Steve1723 just given you a welcome on another thread but I don't mind repeating it here. Welcome to Dementia Support Forum. This is a friendly and helpful community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. We'll do our best to help and support you.

 

[Kevinl]

If you're sectioned why switch over to a DoLSO, section 3 gets you free aftercare on a section 117, same words but different pieces of legislation.
Anyone on a section 3 gets automatic free care, DoLSO doesn't, section 2 is only 28 days then they have to go section 3, so from what you've said must have been a section 3 order.
Downgrading a section 3 to a DoLSO sounds a bit odd to me, other than they want you to pick up the tab. K

 

[Steve1723]

Hello @Steve1723 and welcome

That must have been a shock hearing about your brother. Im sorry
It will also have been a shock that your dad has broken his hip.
I think at this stage there is just no knowing which way it will go - there are extremely variable outcomes here. I think you can only wait and see what happens
He is safe where he is, so try and step back a little. Do something nice for yourself, even if its just going for a walk
xx

Thank you, hugely appreciate both your response and advice

 

[Steve1723]

Hi @Steve1723 just given you a welcome on another thread but I don't mind repeating it here. Welcome to Dementia Support Forum. This is a friendly and helpful community of people who have experience of many aspects of dementia. We'll do our best to help and support you.

Thank you, much appreciated

 

[Steve1723]

If you're sectioned why switch over to a DoLSO, section 3 gets you free aftercare on a section 117, same words but different pieces of legislation.
Anyone on a section 3 gets automatic free care, DoLSO doesn't, section 2 is only 28 days then they have to go section 3, so from what you've said must have been a section 3 order.
Downgrading a section 3 to a DoLSO sounds a bit odd to me, other than they want you to pick up the tab. K

Thanks Kevinl, really appreciate your response and advice. I have on a number of occasions believed that they are trying to steer towards my Dad picking up the tab for his care. However, it has not got to that point as yet. Thanks again

 

[SAP]

If you're sectioned why switch over to a DoLSO, section 3 gets you free aftercare on a section 117, same words but different pieces of legislation.
Anyone on a section 3 gets automatic free care, DoLSO doesn't, section 2 is only 28 days then they have to go section 3, so from what you've said must have been a section 3 order.
Downgrading a section 3 to a DoLSO sounds a bit odd to me, other than they want you to pick up the tab. K

My mum was on a section 3 and is now under a DoLs , she still gets 117 aftercare funding. The section 3 has ended interms of input but MHSPO but the funding remains unless she gets better! The DoLs is for the home she is in now.

 

[Kevinl]

Dols might be better for the home, but section 3 and section 117 is the free bus pass, just saying. K

 

[SAP]

Yep and it is a bus pass that my mum still gets.

 

[SAP]

Thanks Kevinl, really appreciate your response and advice. I have on a number of occasions believed that they are trying to steer towards my Dad picking up the tab for his care. However, it has not got to that point as yet. Thanks again

If your dad is under 117 aftercare funding , that will not change unless he makes a recovery.

 

[Steve1723]

My mum was on a section 3 and is now under a DoLs , she still gets 117 aftercare funding. The section 3 has ended interms of input but MHSPO but the funding remains unless she gets better! The DoLs is for the home she is in now.

Thank you for clarifying. So far it has been the same with my Dad as with your Mum. However, he has been out of the care home for c6 weeks following his fractured hip. His psychosis and hallucinations got so bad he was section 2 again for 28 days. However, that was lifted 48 hrs later when they realised he had an infection. That was 2 weeks ago, he was returned to the care home but readmitted to hospital within 24 hrs, after refusing his meds, food and drinks as he was convinced they contained poison in an effort to kill him. He is planned to return to the care home again this Thursday but I suspect it will be a repeat of last time and he will be returned to hospital within a day or two.
His psychosis is as bad asi have ever seen it and it is difficult to know if that his the hip fracture, delirium or something else.

thanks again for your help and support

steve

 

[Steve1723]

If you're sectioned why switch over to a DoLSO, section 3 gets you free aftercare on a section 117, same words but different pieces of legislation.
Anyone on a section 3 gets automatic free care, DoLSO doesn't, section 2 is only 28 days then they have to go section 3, so from what you've said must have been a section 3 order.
Downgrading a section 3 to a DoLSO sounds a bit odd to me, other than they want you to pick up the tab. K

Thank you