Using the washroom aka loo.

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Bear44, Nov 13, 2015.

  1. Bear44

    Bear44 Registered User

    Sep 28, 2015
    127
    USA
    I'm the sole care taker of my father, I've been noticing that when he uses the bathroom there is urine on the seat and floor. Of course I clean them everyday. And feces on the counter, toilet, even his clothing.

    I never mention it as I don't want to embarrass him.

    Any suggestions on how to approach this matter with him as to not upset him?
     
  2. hvml

    hvml Registered User

    Oct 10, 2015
    300
    North Cornwall
    Morning bear

    My Dad gets into a mess in the bathroom too. For some time I have got him to sit down when he goes. He has a frame around the toilet which he can use to push himself up ( and it's good strength building for his leg muscles).

    When I started going in with him, I found that he had a habit of using one piece of toilet paper, folding it, then bringing it out and folding it again. He was getting really messy. It was a long ingrained habit, so I haven't been able to break it, I just repeat - wipe yourself and drop the paper down the loo.

    When he sits down, I also get him to shuffle back on the seat, so it goes down the pan and not on the floor.

    It may take some time for you both to get used to being in the room together, but my dad chats away happily to me nowadays. In terms of not embarrassing him, that is hard, as it is the most delicate issue. You could say that you just want to make things a little easier for him. Or that you want the company. It's not a comfortable solution, but one that you will both get used to in time.
     
  3. Bear44

    Bear44 Registered User

    Sep 28, 2015
    127
    USA
    Thank you for the reply hvml.

    I do not live with him so this is happening when I'm not there. He is using a lot of toilet paper as I stock both bathrooms with it. I just don't understand how it's happening.

    It's on the floor, toilet seat, rugs. Ugh

    My father was just diagnosed with dementia although I know he's had it for some time. I'm very new to this horrible disease
     
  4. Bear44

    Bear44 Registered User

    Sep 28, 2015
    127
    USA
    I'm there twice a day for about 4 hours total. Except Saturday, then I'm there for 6 or more hours.
     
  5. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,111
    Hows the rest of his life working?
    Eating correctly, or just what he can manage to eat?
    Washing, both body and clothes?
    Medication?

    Is it time to start looking for more full time care?

    Questions, I know are difficult to answer.

    Bod
     
  6. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,468
    Ireland
    Hate to mention it - but have you made a thorough search?:eek: When my late husband first began having toilet problems, we had various scenarios. First of all - when he started to sit on the toilet, I was constantly finding the floor wet in front of the toilet. For ages, I was blaming our elderly cat! :D Then I realised that when my husband sat down, the urine was actuallu leaking out between the toilet itself and the seat, and going down the outside of the toilet onto the floor! Then, as regards faeces, often what would happen is that he would feel the urge to go, but not get himself organised in time, and it would be too late. Trying to "hide the evidence" - he didn't know where to put it! One day I came in from the garden and met him just coming out the door, carrying it - in his bare hand! "I don't know where to put this!" he said - and went to hand it to me! So we managed to put it in the toilet, and scrubbed his hands with hot soapy water, and cleaned him up, and changed his clothes. Another time, I could get a horrible smell in the bedroom no matter how much I cleaned up - and discovered he had hidden "it" - by carefully squishing it down into the potted plants, like a top-dressing of compost! :eek:

    I'm afraid it does sound like he needs more care or supervision. It's hard I know to bring these things up. It feels like a betrayal. But you have to think of the wider picture - with the scenario you describe, your dad is in danger of picking up an infection like ecoli, which can be very nasty and dangerous in the elderly.
     
  7. Bear44

    Bear44 Registered User

    Sep 28, 2015
    127
    USA
    He is eating, usually donuts or Danishes for breakfast, I bring him lunch and dinner. He has lost weight which is why I started bringing him dinner daily.

    I do his laundry for him. He washes up with a cloth, still trying to figure out how to get him in the shower. [emoji20]

    He does remember to take his meds every morning. He's on low dose aspirin, aricept (sp?) and high blood pressure meds.

    I have spoken with a social worker and that was a complete waste of time. She couldn't help me with anything. Unfortunately the care in the US is not as helpful as the uk.
     
  8. Bod

    Bod Registered User

    Aug 30, 2013
    1,111
    I fear the time has come for more care to be found.
    It will take time to arrange, my feelings are that care should be arranged so that it can be increased as needed easily.
    Good luck with your system.

    Bod
     
  9. Bear44

    Bear44 Registered User

    Sep 28, 2015
    127
    USA
    Yes, I have searched around as I clean his house.

    He does urinate on the toilet seat, floor daily. I've also noticed a bit of incontinence in the last few weeks. [emoji25]


    I'm worried about how to get somebody in to help him as he is very mean. I am pretty positive he wouldn't let them in to help him. I do have poa, but what if he stops allowing me to come in?

    He was a very independent man and still thinks he can do everything himself.
     

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