Right Folks .
Please could all ye experts advise me .....
My friends mother is at home looking after her very frail 92 year old mother.
This particular gran is so frail that last year when she almost fell in a petrol station her son in law grabbed her arm ....and you guessed it the skin just came right off. Unfortunately they were on the way to a family holiday . Fortunately the skin healed with a simple bandage rather than stitches......
She walks with a Zimmer , lives at home with her daughters family and needs help with toilets and much encouragement to eat ., and drink . She can feed herself ....extreemly slowly.
She is still very much at the centre of family life and i was quite moved to see how attentive her family were to her needs .
There is one big problem . ............ she keeps saying things that cause extreem distress and upset to the family.She complains a fair bit ....I,m never included , nobody cares about me , i never get to see MY friends . That sorta thing .Then she can say really hurtfu PERSONAL comments directly to some of the family .
From my point of view its just a wee old lady who is obviously getting a bit confused . I have encouraged the family to see her as someone who isnt well .Maybe that way they can cope better.She has dementia.
However it just keeps happening over and over again .
Now i think the carer ( my friends mum ) is really at her wits end .
Somehow Guilt comes into it .............I think as a carer you never feel you are doing enough or doing it right.
But how is it that people can be so upset by these kind of comments from someone who clearly isnt well. I hope Im not sounding to harsh here. Clearly they all love their gran very much . In her prime she was a formidable woman .
Is it to do with respect for her , or letting go , or What .
What to yoou say to someone who is really struggling emotionally with this kind of thing ???
LG
Please could all ye experts advise me .....
My friends mother is at home looking after her very frail 92 year old mother.
This particular gran is so frail that last year when she almost fell in a petrol station her son in law grabbed her arm ....and you guessed it the skin just came right off. Unfortunately they were on the way to a family holiday . Fortunately the skin healed with a simple bandage rather than stitches......
She walks with a Zimmer , lives at home with her daughters family and needs help with toilets and much encouragement to eat ., and drink . She can feed herself ....extreemly slowly.
She is still very much at the centre of family life and i was quite moved to see how attentive her family were to her needs .
There is one big problem . ............ she keeps saying things that cause extreem distress and upset to the family.She complains a fair bit ....I,m never included , nobody cares about me , i never get to see MY friends . That sorta thing .Then she can say really hurtfu PERSONAL comments directly to some of the family .
From my point of view its just a wee old lady who is obviously getting a bit confused . I have encouraged the family to see her as someone who isnt well .Maybe that way they can cope better.She has dementia.
However it just keeps happening over and over again .
Now i think the carer ( my friends mum ) is really at her wits end .
Somehow Guilt comes into it .............I think as a carer you never feel you are doing enough or doing it right.
But how is it that people can be so upset by these kind of comments from someone who clearly isnt well. I hope Im not sounding to harsh here. Clearly they all love their gran very much . In her prime she was a formidable woman .
Is it to do with respect for her , or letting go , or What .
What to yoou say to someone who is really struggling emotionally with this kind of thing ???
LG