Update on Tagesheim

[PalSal]

Hello Talking Point,
Just to let you all know, things are going very well at the new daycare. The people running the daycare are kind and very professional. He stayed the entire day last week, creating no problems for them. It was his third visit. The first time, I went with him for the day. Second week, I went with him for a bit and he stayed 1/2 a day. Third visit, he stayed alone from 9am to 4pm. It is an all men group on Thursdays. I cannot say Nick enjoys it, as I am not sure what he enjoys....but he was content to stay.

The drawbacks are it is much farther away and it cost exactly twice as much as the Red Cross daycare....but I do not really care. As they do not have a waiting list and full patient bookings, they seem much more helpful and trying to make it work. If it works, great.

The daycare has even arranged for a volunteer to come and walk with him for 1.5 hours during the day one on one. Which is great for him, as he needs walking.

He helped prepare the lunch last week, which was nice for him. I do not have the patience anymore to let him help....I just want to get on to the next task and get it completed. So, I am glad he feels useful and helpful there, he was always such a willing helper in life’s tasks.

I must arrange for a GPS or something for him, I do not have that yet and it is part of the contract that he has a GPS locator. I went about 5 places and was surprised how little was available. And as I am not so techie, it is confusing but I guess most of these things have sim cards and require a monthly service contract to operate.

He goes from 9 am to 4 pm. I am going back to a conversational German course and will take myself out for lunch and maybe a little shopping not sure.

My husband's daughter had a baby at the weekend. He cannot hold that thought....but I am pleased to have another grandchild. And another from his son is expected in April. So, the family grows.

The really happy news, for Nick, is that we spotted the fox on the hillside yesterday. We had not seen the foxes for a while and feared that they had moved on....

Nick is happiest when he is in or observing nature. I am grateful for the small pleasures we are given.

 

[Grannie G]

Good to hear your update @PalSal .

Even though the day care is so good and even though it`s more expensive and further away it sounds as if the pros outweigh the cons.

 

[LadyA]

All sounds very positive, @PalSal . I know nothing about GPS location tags, except that they are available! Online might be your best bet. They're available quite readily and inexpensively for pet collars. They use the same technology as sat navs, I think so no monthly contract.

 

[PalSal]

Another great day at the daycare. He started to be difficult when I was leaving and the beautiful young nurse on duty distracted him and took him off to show him something....no idea what. Point is she distracted him so I could get out of sight.
Then I went to German class. Afterwards, I went in search of the gps tracker got one for 39.95 CHF which runs for about 5chf per month. So, I have what I need.
When I came to get him I had a coffee and cupcakes with everyone which they had made. He had been for an 1.5 hour walk (he could not remember this but he had one) It just shows that he doesnt remember any of it at all.
Once we get home he does not remember he has even been there.
Must run the Prime Minister has just come on the TV. Must watch her.

 

[PalSal]

Hi TP Friends,
For the moment we are in a good space…but this too shall pass. The good and the bad it all passes. But I will enjoy and relish this current bit of good times.

Another successful day at Tagesheim.

Nick went again yesterday but the drop off was difficult again. I left without saying goodbye to him. The carers ended up giving him a pill in the morning....which I never do, but it worked and he stayed the day. They said he was very anxious, pacing, wanting his shoes and coat and twisting his wedding ring. So, they gave him the meds…good decision and managed to distract him making a placemat with pictures of things he used to do, mountain climbing a picture of the Matterhorn, a number of pictures of horses and the northern lights.

As promised, they had a young fit student come and take him for a walk for 1.5 hours and I could see that Nick was out walking as I now have this cool tracking device. I could see where and how long he walked....which was very cool. I am so proud of myself that I was able to make the device work eventually and buy the service for it and download the app on my phone. I am using a device for animals, and it only cost 39.90 CHF in the end. The service fee is 79.00 CHF per year. It was cheaper if you made a longer service contract but I am waiting to do that. I wanted to make sure I could work it properly.

When I arrived at 4PM to pick him up, we did a short shop at the grocery store which is conveniently located near the center. It is a very small village store, no lines of customers.

By the time we got in the car, to leave, he could not remember anything of his day, what he had for lunch, did not know he had been at the daycare or had an 1.5 hour walk. (I do not expect him to remember anything…it just assures me that it really doesn’t matter if he is with me or not) Acceptance....that is it....so I accept that I only take him with me if suits me, I have the energy and it is enjoyable for me. It’s all about ME! When I make sure I am ok and happy, I can better take care of his needs.

I had made dinner for he and his man sitter, and I was off to a concert in the city of the Sinfonie Orchester Basel. Wonderful evening of classic music….performed by the wonderful professionals of our orchestra…

Sinfonieorchester Basel
Nelson Goerner, Klavier
Michał Nesterowicz, Leitung

Krzysztof Penderecki: Agnus Dei aus Polnisches Requiem, Fassung für Streichorchester von Boris Pergamenschikow
Frédéric Chopin: Konzert für Klavier und Orchester Nr. 1 e-Moll, op. 11
Jean Sibelius: Sinfonie Nr. 2 D-Dur, op. 43


Today, I will take him with friends to Freiburg, Germany to a favorite establishment for lunch. The menu at lunch time is excellent, full on professional dining service, and cheaper than in the evening. I will order for him, something which is well cut up and look the other way as he eats. I will dress him up beautifully and I will dress also. We will visit the cathedral which is famous and lovely we have been before. And I will go to a favorite department store.

Tomorrow, Saturday, I will rise early and bake two pumpkin pies and a big pecan pie for a party to celebrate American Thanksgiving with expatriate friends in Basel, who have been hosting this annual event for friends for 25 years. Not everyone is American, just a mix of folks. This party starts of the holiday season for me.

Mid-morning Saturday, my daughter, her husband and the babies will come to my village do a big discount cash and carry shop. Her husband (the Christmas appreciative) wants to be prepared for all his holiday needs. It is fun and we go together a couple of times during the year to do BIG shop. Lunch together, then home for naps before the evening’s festivities. They too will be and the Thanksgiving evening. So, my darling babies will be there for me to show off.

On Sunday, I have my classical ensemble practice from 1pm to 5pm. My son usually comes on Sunday evening to be with his dad, does dinner and takes him for a walk. But he will come earlier for me so I can do this extended practice. We have four concerts for Christmas, two public, one private, and caroling on the streets of Basel collecting money for the Alzheimer’s Association here.

So, it is a full weekend of old friends and family.

I am so grateful that I have received good advice along the way on this journey….that is always be one step ahead of Nick’s needs. Avoid drama if possible…. I have a good team of “mansitters” and walkers. Luckily, Nick is still physically pretty fit….and still wants to be part of a life together as best he can.

And thanks to this wonderful Talking Point where I get excellent support and advice from others who understand what it is like to live with this disease.Wishing everyone a good weekend....and moments of joy!

 

[AliceA]

Such a lovely positive post. Enjoy moments of bliss. As you say our own needs fulfilled make us better Carers. Xxx

 

[Izzy]

It all sounds just wonderful! I'm glad you have all of these exciting activities planned. Enjoy!

 

[B72]

As Alice A says, a lovely, positive post. Hoping your arrangements all turn out positive. So glad you’re working out a modus vovendii. xx