Update on my mum - so angry


Registered User
Aug 31, 2007
Hi all

I posted on here a couple of months ago – am not sure how to attach my old thread to this post but I guess if you click on my user name you will hopefully be able to read it. Basically I had serious concerns about my 76 year old mum who had been acting completely confused/forgetful since at least April of this year but wasn't getting anywhere with the gps.

Apologies for not having been back on the site for a while to update you about my mum but the last couple of months have been hectic.

Basically my mum had been getting more and more confused and her own GP STILL maintained there was nothing wrong with her but he would “look into it” (heard that before). Having had enough of the GPs palming us off we were about to take more action to get my mum the help she needed.

However two weeks ago on Monday morning myself and my boyfriend found her collapsed in her bedroom. We don’t know how long she had been lying there – it could have been all night. Anyway she was conscious but couldn’t speak properly or move at all and we assumed she had had a stroke. She was rushed to hospital at which point they tried to suggest it might be a urine infection (which the GPs had tried to put it down to before (despite never even taking a urine sample from her?!! but we knew it was more than this). Anyway they did all the tests at the hospital and gave her a CT scan which revealed she had a massive blood clot on the brain and she would need emergency surgery. The surgeon has told us that she had been bleeding on the brain since probably about eight or nine months ago and that she should have been sent for a scan/referred to a specialist back then and this should have been picked up on so you can imagine how we feel. So although it hasn’t turned out to be dementia it had such similar symptoms.

Basically her chances of coming through the operation were very slim but she did although she is still very ill and we have been warned that she could have another bleed. Her short term memory has now completely gone and she is completely confused and unable to look after herself and now completely incontinent. She will be going to a rehabilitation centre and then by the looks of it probably a nursing home so I don’t think she will ever get back to her own house again.

As I mentioned in my previous post I am her only family (although have a very supportive partner who I don’t think I could have coped without) so I just feel completely drained by all this. My dr signed me off work for two weeks so am just back today but hopefully it will help me to be back at work in a normal routine again.

Anyway thanks for reading this just wanted to update you and I urge anyone who is having the same problems with their GP’s refusing to listen to their concerns to please please push to get a referral – I sometimes wish I had made more of a stand and perhaps we wouldn’t be in this situation now but it was like banging my head against a brick wall.

I will keep popping in to the site and also let you know how my mum is doing.


Fiona xx

Linda Mc

Registered User
Jul 3, 2005
Nr Mold
Oh Fiona what a saga. You must be so relieved now Mum is getting the correct treatment.

We hear so often of mis diagnosis and you are right we must never give up when we KNOW something is not right.

Sending you and Mum a ((((((HUG)))))))

Linda x

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
I`m so sorry Fiona.

Some GP`s are so laid back, they make it really difficult for you. They are not the best people to disagree with and we are conditioned to accept their diagnosis.

A few years ago, when I was in Special Education, all those involved with assessments of Special Educational Need, were encouraged to listen to parents, as the ones who knew their children best.

I do wish close relatives were given the same respect by all medics, not just the enlightened few.

I wish your mother well.

Love xx


Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
SW Scotland
Dear Fiona, I'm so sorry that you and your mum have had to go through this. It's so difficult sometimes to get GPs to take your wories seriously. I think it's easier for them to adopt a 'wait and see' philosophy. Unfortunately, when it concerns the brain, 'wait and see' can have disastrous consequences.

Please let us know how your mum is. I wish you both all the very best,



Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
God what a thing to happen
and to go unnoticed by the doctor .

wishing you and your mother all the best


Registered User
Jul 6, 2007
leigh lancashire
Dear Fiona,
My family had the "brush off" from dads GP for many months.He was diagnosed with pernicious aenemia,which can bring on dementia like symptoms.All well and good,until he got worse with his memory.Eventually a consultant visited,did the MMSE test and dad was diagnosed with A/Z.The consultant asked why we had waited so long to speak to his dads GP!!!!!!!!!.A certain rant and a certain rave from me didn't go unrecognised by the consultant.Put your foot down with a firm hand and get the GP to do their part in this

love elainex


Registered User
Apr 15, 2007
Dear Fiona,

This is so unfair and I am sorry that this has happened to you and your poor mum. My MIL complain for months about a severe pain in the side of her head, granted she was a heavy drinker, the Dr's were not interested in investigating the cause of the pain. Their diagnosis was Alcoholic Dementia she did have dementia symptoms, but, she also had a blood clot and it was right in the area where she complained the pain was. She never survived.

Best wishes to you and your mum.

Regards Taffy.