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Update on moving my mother to a different care home.

Takemewithyou

Registered User
Mar 10, 2011
62
The news so far is that a Best Interest meeting to decide if I will be allowed to move my mother has still got no further after a week. Social Services are 'extremely busy'...

I'm praying that they don't take too long, because the new care home that I've found will only hold the room for my mother for a limited time.

It would be poor on SS part if the meeting so delayed, that I lose the room at the new CH. Something else out of my control. Or is it? Does anyone know if I have any rights to speed things up at their end?).

I've just visited my mother, and no surprise, for the first time in over a year, she looked quite well turned out, clean teeth, clean blouse, the appropriate size bra, nails cut/clean and even painted with coloured varnish.....She was sat in another part of the CH, watching tv next to an open window getting fresh air and laughing at Gino & Mel Do Lunch. A stark difference from her usual spot, slumped in a chair because she's too worried about getting lost. Someone has actually made the effort to walk her down to the other sitting area. Amazing.

Although happy and almost close to tears to see her like this after looking so dreadful and sad for a fair while, I'm also so angry that my head might burst.

Why have I had to cause such a major stink to get my complaints dealt with?

Why weren't my concerns and complaints taken seriously by the CH staff/manager until I start throwing my weight around and making enquiries to move her to another CH?

I'm more determined that my mother be moved more than ever.

Sheer lack of care. All this 'she's resistant' business is rubbish because they've obviously had no problems in CARING for her now.

Absolutely disgusted. My mother can't be the only resident here that's lacking proper basic care either.

Proof that paying more for a CH does not guarantee better care.

I suppose if nothing else, it will have given them a kick up the backside and they may take better care of the other residents.

I'm still not leaving my mother there, though. No matter what. I hope that the Best Int Meeting will reach a sensible conclusion. After all, who would move a relative unless there was really good reason to do so?
 
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Big Effort

Account Closed
Jul 8, 2012
1,928
Dear Takemewithyou,

I love to read about how nicely turned out your Mum is, and her feeling secure and happy watching TV in the fresh air.

Why is it like this?
I wish I knew. I suppose if we had the answer, we would be able to put the world to rights. My gut feeling is one element is so much of the dementia world is operated and controlled by people who have no idea of what dementia is like.

They think it is an illness. A tragedy. Something that happens to the elderly. Just a few of them. But of course, if they took the time to visit here, they would know how wrong they are.

I hope the kick up the backside really hurts. And the meeting goes ahead speedily. And you get the new place. And your Mum thrives there. She is lucky to have you on her side.

Sending support BE
 

Takemewithyou

Registered User
Mar 10, 2011
62
Dear Takemewithyou,

I love to read about how nicely turned out your Mum is, and her feeling secure and happy watching TV in the fresh air.

Why is it like this?
I wish I knew. I suppose if we had the answer, we would be able to put the world to rights. My gut feeling is one element is so much of the dementia world is operated and controlled by people who have no idea of what dementia is like.

They think it is an illness. A tragedy. Something that happens to the elderly. Just a few of them. But of course, if they took the time to visit here, they would know how wrong they are.

I hope the kick up the backside really hurts. And the meeting goes ahead speedily. And you get the new place. And your Mum thrives there. She is lucky to have you on her side.

Sending support BE
Thanks BE for such a supportive reply.

Today's visit to my mother has confirmed what I think about this particular CH and the staff there.

I know I'm doing the right thing in moving her to another CH. Just wish I'd done it sooner.
 

Big Effort

Account Closed
Jul 8, 2012
1,928
Well, TAkemewithyou,

There is nothing sweeter than knowing you are doing the right thing. Nothing sweeter. I shall be waiting to hear how you both find the new place. I hope it is way better and you get the peace of mind that is so important to us carers (and spouses).

Good for you. Hugs and take care, BE