• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

Up date

christmas

Registered User
Apr 27, 2014
206
Leicestershire
Hi just wanted to tell you how my peter is getting on , he went in the nursing home on Monday, on the day he was a bit unsettled when they got him there but when I went back on Tuesday morning he seem ok he was laughing with me and I have to say he look so much brighter than when he was in hospital , been to see him twice a day and I think he will be ok, I can't make it out he looks happy but is he I don't know , I still have a cry the worse bit is saying by when I go and I can't wait to get back in the morning , the children keep telling me I don't have to be there all the time but I can't stop myself soon has I wake up that's all I think about seeing him , never felt so much pain in my heart in my life I really just want to go to sleep till everything is better but I know it's never going to be hugs to you all xxxxx Christmas xxxxx
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
60,531
Dundee
I’m glad Peter has settled. It must be very hard for you though. Thinking of you.
 

father ted

Registered User
Aug 16, 2010
694
London
I am glad Peter has settled so well.

It must be so hard to leave him. I don't know about the build up to him being there but I am assuming that things were tough and it wasn't suitable for him to come home. You must find comfort in the fact that he seems happy there. How much harder it would be to leave him if he was unhappy? Your children want you to take a break now you can and have a rest so I understand why they say that but my own reaction is if you need to be there every day to make YOU happier then do it. You are still a couple and can still spend time together. My very best wishes to you. X
 

love.dad.but..

Registered User
Jan 16, 2014
4,473
Kent
It is very hard to leave someone you love and take a step back but for both of you sometimes it is the best decision. As you begin to get to know the carers and the ways of the home so your trust in them will increase and you then feel you can adjust your visiting to help you relax and rest.
 

christmas

Registered User
Apr 27, 2014
206
Leicestershire
Thank you when I feel they are looking after him I will be able to relax , been there 4 days now and seems to be ok , feeling a little better now gave myself a talking to , let's hope it works but there is this little voice trying to get in my brain and tell me other things. Christmas xxxxx
 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,119
N Ireland
I’m glad things seem to be working for your Peter.
Don’t berate yourself for wanting to visit every day. The wife of my neighbour has been in a CH for a few years and he never misses a day as the visits give comfort to both him and his wife. If saying bye is hard don’t do it but just slip away when Peter’s attention is diverted if you can rely on his lack of memory meaning he won’t notice you ever left when you walk in the next day - that may be easier for both of you.