Hello -
I find this really hard to write. We are having increasing issues with my Dad that we keep going back and forth on whether or not it is dementia and we're getting really concerned. He has had basic 'memory tests' at the doctor but these have been on better days and fairly basic.
- Obsessions with things - Locks, security, taking keys to bed, money, news - but on very specific strange things that he seems to become enamoured with and 'hiding things' (I've not seen this bit but heard from a sibling and I can believe it)
- Convinced himself numerous times my mum is having an affair and followed her, confronts her and I think has tried to put tracking on her. She's now resigned to the fact she can't even go to the supermarket without him for fear of him starting. He won't allow her to go anywhere without him. FYI - they have been married over 60 yrs.
- Can seem absolutely fine one day and with it and then can literally 'go' mid-sentence and then it's like you can't get him back. Can't follow his thoughts. Contradicts things he's previously said and doesn't make any cognitive sense.
- He's fine at points and very aware he's got some issues and doesn't want to drive because he doesn't feel capable (gets lost, makes bad decisions), wants help with banking because he can't do it etc and then the next second he will get frustrated and almost agressive that he absolutely can drive, or bank, or do whatever he wants and no-one will stop him.
- He's diabetic and you can't get him to understand and not keep eating extra cakes, sweets etc. You find him putting extra bits in and he becomes very childlike about it and you don't seem to be able to get through. He does this 'child like' behaviour with other things as well.
- Has had numerous 'funny turns' over the past 18 months where he ends up hospitalised but showing no underlying issue. He can pass out, unable to recall anything or know where he is (.e.g. fully dressed at 3am eating breakfast at the table), looks drunk when walking and at points couldn't use legs at all
- Sleep issues, wandering around in the middle of the night
- Impulse issues - suddenly making expensive purchases, going off on a seconds notice, needs everything 'now' and can't understand if something has to wait
- Seems to upset people everywhere he goes by thinking it's them that's incompetent - .e.g. bank, solicitors, garages, gardeners anyone! He was previously a very astute business man and doesn't understand that he's not making sense or thinks he's asked for something that he hasn't.
Day to day it's getting worse. He can seem absolutely fine on some days but that seems to be becoming less frequent. My mum is becoming very despondent and doesn't know what to do. She doesn't feel able to carry on like this. She is very competent and able but she's having to placate him and watch him most of the time. He gets angry if people confront him about it but we are starting to feel he isn't safe. Siblings and I are all seeing strange things at different points. Mum talks about it but I think she still hides some things. We don't know what to think. I'm worried it's escalating and some of his impulses really concern me.
It can be like talking to a different person a day apart. How do we actually go about getting a diagnosis? And how do you deal with that with someone who doesn't want the diagnosis? From research, I feel as though Lewy Body makes the most sense for what we're seeing but I'm not sure.
I think we are all burying our heads in the sand atm and we can't keep doing that. Any advice?
Thank you!
I find this really hard to write. We are having increasing issues with my Dad that we keep going back and forth on whether or not it is dementia and we're getting really concerned. He has had basic 'memory tests' at the doctor but these have been on better days and fairly basic.
- Obsessions with things - Locks, security, taking keys to bed, money, news - but on very specific strange things that he seems to become enamoured with and 'hiding things' (I've not seen this bit but heard from a sibling and I can believe it)
- Convinced himself numerous times my mum is having an affair and followed her, confronts her and I think has tried to put tracking on her. She's now resigned to the fact she can't even go to the supermarket without him for fear of him starting. He won't allow her to go anywhere without him. FYI - they have been married over 60 yrs.
- Can seem absolutely fine one day and with it and then can literally 'go' mid-sentence and then it's like you can't get him back. Can't follow his thoughts. Contradicts things he's previously said and doesn't make any cognitive sense.
- He's fine at points and very aware he's got some issues and doesn't want to drive because he doesn't feel capable (gets lost, makes bad decisions), wants help with banking because he can't do it etc and then the next second he will get frustrated and almost agressive that he absolutely can drive, or bank, or do whatever he wants and no-one will stop him.
- He's diabetic and you can't get him to understand and not keep eating extra cakes, sweets etc. You find him putting extra bits in and he becomes very childlike about it and you don't seem to be able to get through. He does this 'child like' behaviour with other things as well.
- Has had numerous 'funny turns' over the past 18 months where he ends up hospitalised but showing no underlying issue. He can pass out, unable to recall anything or know where he is (.e.g. fully dressed at 3am eating breakfast at the table), looks drunk when walking and at points couldn't use legs at all
- Sleep issues, wandering around in the middle of the night
- Impulse issues - suddenly making expensive purchases, going off on a seconds notice, needs everything 'now' and can't understand if something has to wait
- Seems to upset people everywhere he goes by thinking it's them that's incompetent - .e.g. bank, solicitors, garages, gardeners anyone! He was previously a very astute business man and doesn't understand that he's not making sense or thinks he's asked for something that he hasn't.
Day to day it's getting worse. He can seem absolutely fine on some days but that seems to be becoming less frequent. My mum is becoming very despondent and doesn't know what to do. She doesn't feel able to carry on like this. She is very competent and able but she's having to placate him and watch him most of the time. He gets angry if people confront him about it but we are starting to feel he isn't safe. Siblings and I are all seeing strange things at different points. Mum talks about it but I think she still hides some things. We don't know what to think. I'm worried it's escalating and some of his impulses really concern me.
It can be like talking to a different person a day apart. How do we actually go about getting a diagnosis? And how do you deal with that with someone who doesn't want the diagnosis? From research, I feel as though Lewy Body makes the most sense for what we're seeing but I'm not sure.
I think we are all burying our heads in the sand atm and we can't keep doing that. Any advice?
Thank you!
