Two years to get this bad. What now?

[Daffy123]

I have read all the posts on this strand. Thank you all. I am new to this forum because I have been frozen with fear at the thought of reading how much worse life could get ... I have been sole carer for OH with az for nearly five years. I am quite tiny and he is well over six feet tall. It has been hard and I see I could have had your amazing comradeship. My experience of social support such as it wasn't was that it was demeaning and pointless. In the middle of one of the worst weeks ever, they offered me a hot stone massage. So, I cracked on, every night writing an hundred lines, I must endure ... Now, being a mental health professional, even I can see I was broken. My OH deteriorated so quickly that I faced all kind of trauma in short order, not to mention the endless destructiveness of the house - pulled radiator off wall, flood, ruined all the electrics, mucked up the gas, stuffed towels down the toilet etc etc etc.
I begged social services for assurance that if I was too ill to manage, there would be some way OHcould be cared for. But at the dreaded hint that I might mean care home, they lectured me on deprivation of liberty, and even told me that if I phoned Care direct, I would be, and I quote ASTONISHED AT HOW LITTLE HELP I WOULD GET. They said this twice, just so I could hear it fully. They said all they could do was send me a list of local care homes, so I said, good. The list came with the contact details blanked out. I would need to be a self-funder as OH has savings of £60K. And I accept this completely, was never trying to get anything for free.

So I continued to write my hundred lines and kept going, trying to make life as valuable as poss for beloved OH (we have been together since University in the sixties). I was getting iller and iller and then of course, the train crash. He had a dreadful fall, had to go to A and E and was admitted to hospital. This is where things changed. The doctors assured me they would not be admitting him home, I could not manage. It took two or three of them to manage what I had been doing alone for years. The wonderful social worker signed a best interest statement saying he needed residential care and even helped me find a suitable vacancy.
That was a month ago. OH is now happily settled in a very loving specialist dementia nursing home and I am there every day for as long as I can be.

Did we have to go through that? Was there any other way? I am becoming less frozen, still wake every hour thinking I hear OH calling. For three years had hardly any sleep, kept going on professionalism and caffeine.

This is my question again, did we have to go through that?

Yet I read what you wonderful guys post and I see that yes, we did. Thank you all with all my heart. I wish I had had the courage to go online before.

Well done for just hanging on. It sounds like you've been through so much.

 

[Quenelise]

But where I live, Winter is Coming!!!!!

The Dry Season is on the way here, I love this weather

 

[AL60]

Hi I'm ok, I've post tonight but tiredness has defeated me this time. I'm ok, i just don't trust the predictive text to actually print what I'm meaning to sayso I'll just say, we're ok and when I can find my glasses and am not so tired I'll come back. AL.

 

[Rolypoly]

Hi I'm ok, I've post tonight but tiredness has defeated me this time. I'm ok, i just don't trust the predictive text to actually print what I'm meaning to sayso I'll just say, we're ok and when I can find my glasses and am not so tired I'll come back. AL.

I know what you mean about trying to type sense without glasses...it never quite works! Thank you for posting to let us know you are ok. We do worry you know. Wishing you a restful night and lots of zzzzz.

 

[AL60]

Hi. Thankyou, if I'm achieving nothing else, I'm at least getting restful nights. Probably due to the exhausting days . Now, I've a confession to make. I've done something you may think is incredibly stupid, or silly at any rate. You remember a couple of months ago we went for that bathroom conversion to a wetroom. Well, it went so Well I thought, foolishly, that while I was on something of a roll I'd carry on and get the kitchen done too. Well, i thought if I went with a reputable company and paid over the odds or them to do everything I was in with a chance of things going smoothly. Well we all know what thought did. Now coming to the end of week two with a less than half finished job, with no sign of any finish date soon stress levels are running fairly high. Not my wife's, mine. One week we were told, one week! It's looking more like four weeks. I think I'd best change the subject in case you think I'm on the wrong forum. Now, through all this upheaval my wife is coping extremely well. I suppose as long as she can have her cheese and tomato sandwich at lunchtime and cheese and potatoes for tea she's reasonably happy. In case you're wondering, the weather being so dry I've been able to prepare the potatoes on the bbq, not all bad is it.
Tonight, while I was preparing those alfresco potatoes I left her indoors going through some old family photo albums, I'd put them together during the dark days of last winter, all those family holidays, Christmas holidays, birthdays and lots in between . I've no doubt she enjoyed looking through them but she's left them in something of a state. She mustn't have liked the way I'd done them as she's all but destroyed them. But what's the point complaining , she doesn't know who the photos are of, doesn't recognise the places so why should she worry about tearing some of them out and 'rearranging' them. There's no doubt, things are getting noticeably worse week by week, month by month. On a plus she does at times recognise herself she has a problem. Her mobility is a prime example. We were out just yesterday and she herself recognised that she was having a problem with walking , still can't get her to use the wheelchair , so, on the way out of the shopping mall we called into the mobility shop. After a short test run we left with one of those three wheeled walking aids, it took a few minutes to get the hang of it, she at first tried to ride it as you would a Segway, ok now though. We went to our local asda this morning to give it a try out, only three casualties, one display and two ankles , they were ok. Honestly , i haven't actually felt like that since the youngest of my daughters learned to ride her new Christmas bike. I think I've a photo of that somewhere at least I did have . Anyway, i think it's time to get some sleep. Another day tomorrow, another quiet day, not much planned for the kitchen and another weekend approaching . I'll not mention the name of the kitchen company, all I'll say is a 'little bird' told me about them. Goodnight Al

 

[Casbow]

Hi. Thankyou, if I'm achieving nothing else, I'm at least getting restful nights. Probably due to the exhausting days . Now, I've a confession to make. I've done something you may think is incredibly stupid, or silly at any rate. You remember a couple of months ago we went for that bathroom conversion to a wetroom. Well, it went so Well I thought, foolishly, that while I was on something of a roll I'd carry on and get the kitchen done too. Well, i thought if I went with a reputable company and paid over the odds or them to do everything I was in with a chance of things going smoothly. Well we all know what thought did. Now coming to the end of week two with a less than half finished job, with no sign of any finish date soon stress levels are running fairly high. Not my wife's, mine. One week we were told, one week! It's looking more like four weeks. I think I'd best change the subject in case you think I'm on the wrong forum. Now, through all this upheaval my wife is coping extremely well. I suppose as long as she can have her cheese and tomato sandwich at lunchtime and cheese and potatoes for tea she's reasonably happy. In case you're wondering, the weather being so dry I've been able to prepare the potatoes on the bbq, not all bad is it.
Tonight, while I was preparing those alfresco potatoes I left her indoors going through some old family photo albums, I'd put them together during the dark days of last winter, all those family holidays, Christmas holidays, birthdays and lots in between . I've no doubt she enjoyed looking through them but she's left them in something of a state. She mustn't have liked the way I'd done them as she's all but destroyed them. But what's the point complaining , she doesn't know who the photos are of, doesn't recognise the places so why should she worry about tearing some of them out and 'rearranging' them. There's no doubt, things are getting noticeably worse week by week, month by month. On a plus she does at times recognise herself she has a problem. Her mobility is a prime example. We were out just yesterday and she herself recognised that she was having a problem with walking , still can't get her to use the wheelchair , so, on the way out of the shopping mall we called into the mobility shop. After a short test run we left with one of those three wheeled walking aids, it took a few minutes to get the hang of it, she at first tried to ride it as you would a Segway, ok now though. We went to our local asda this morning to give it a try out, only three casualties, one display and two ankles , they were ok. Honestly , i haven't actually felt like that since the youngest of my daughters learned to ride her new Christmas bike. I think I've a photo of that somewhere at least I did have . Anyway, i think it's time to get some sleep. Another day tomorrow, another quiet day, not much planned for the kitchen and another weekend approaching . I'll not mention the name of the kitchen company, all I'll say is a 'little bird' told me about them. Goodnight Al

Good morning Al. What a time you are having. You seem to manage to keep sane somehow.! I do hope the kitchen gets done a bit more quickly. Maybe the worst work is done and now it will be plain sailing (as the saying goes). I hope your wife will continue to manage with the frame, and maybe even enjoy her new "toy". If it can keep her from falling that will be brilliant. Take care of yourself. x

 

[Philbo]

Hi Al

Glad to see you're managing to keep your sense of humour.

I absolutely hate getting people in to do jobs, as they rarely seem able to pay attention to detail, so I end up finishing things off myself? (bit of a perfectionist).

When one of my sons had his kitchen done, the 2 local fitters were in and out within the week, though we did strip the old one out in advance. The company I think I can guess you are using have had a bit of a dubious reputation so I hope you can sharpen your big stick and get things moving on more quickly.

I have noticed recently that my wife's mobility seems to be deteriorating too. Now she has suffered with severe back problems for over 40 years (degenerative disk problems), which perversely seemed to ease as the dementia took hold? I can only assume that the neural pathways that transmit pain signals have become scrambled but she no longer complains about her back. However, her posture has gotten worse and she is inclined to stoop more and is having more of a problem getting up from the sofa, loo etc.

She is also tending to hesitate or "freeze" when going upstairs or downstairs, as if she can't remember how to do it, so I end up leading her by the hand?

I hope your wife continues to cope with the kitchen saga and I wish you well.

Phil

 

[AL60]

Hi. The saga of the kitchen continues, the tiler turned up yesterday to complete the kitchen. He was surprised to see it wasn't quite at the stage where he could do his bit. After a call to his manager it was decided that he'd return in another two weeks. All I know is, one day it'll be finished. Yes it's annoying but there are so many things that are of more concern at present. Top of the list, you guessed it, my health and wellbeing. Something happened yesterday that made me really think. Two days ago I had a routine dental appointment. After being told one of my back teeth would have to be extracted due to some minor infection I went back home and tried not to think about it. A couple of hours later I began to feel a little unwell, a strange feeling of dizziness and shivering even though the evening was warm. After preparing my wife's evening meal l decided that I'd best go upstairs for a while. After an hour or so I was feeling a bit better so I went back downstairs just in time to help my wife to go to her bed. I was feeling a bit better so stayed up for a while before turning in for the night. The following morning I still didn't feel quite right , as the morning progressed I felt a lot worse. My wife had a late morning appointment with her dr , i took her at the allotted time and waited, and then waited some more, all I wanted was to go to sleep. No chance. Anyway, her turn came and we went in. I sat quietly and let my wife go on about non existent problems, i honestly felt so bad at this point I just didn't care and left her to it. This didn't go unnoticed , the dr asked if I was ok and when I told her she suggested returning to the dentist as it was probably the infected tooth. I went to the dentist on the Drs advice, i managed to get an appointment to see her within the next half hour. It was while I was talking to the dentist that the first waves of nausea hit, i just had time to apologise in advance as I knew what was coming. Three years ago I had some anti reflux surgery which means nothing comes up when trying to be sick, just extremely painful dry heaves, god knows what the dentist must have thought. Anyway, it was decided that there was no way that the very small infection would have caused so much so soon. She suggested the local walk in centre. This is the point where I should have just gone home. I wasn't quite thinking properly and followed the dentist's advice . After a lengthy wait it was my turn to be seen. After briefly telling her the history of the last twenty four hours she was of the opinion that it was the dentist's responsibility and I should go back there. Walk in centre doesn't do dental. She took some pity on us and carried on with some tests. It was probably the sight of my wife in her winter woolly jumper and asda leopard print slippers that swung it for us. After a short chat with the dr there we were given a letter to take to the hospital, it enabled us to go straight to the ward bypassing a and e reception. There was still a long wait though. And still all I wanted to do was sleep. After my wife had asked if I was tired for the umpteenth time she finally started to lose her temper. She was up and down, shouting at me, asking why we were there, when there's no reason , she'd completely lost it, normally when others are present she manages to keep a lid on things . It just seemed those twenty or thirty others in the waiting room had some insight into what life is like for me. I just felt so helpless , every time I stood up to go after her it brought on the nausea, that, I didn't need. Once again I was called in to see the nurse, it was such a relief just being away form her just for a even a few minutes. It didn't last. As i came out of the men's room she was waiting, where have you been? I've been looking everywhere , she was once again shouting and being abusive , at this point I just felt that's it, I've had enough . Is this it, the first sign of carer burn out? The realisation suddenly hit, it's like a warning shot across the bows ! My daughter eventually did turn up at the hospital to take her mum home , I'd called a little earlier in the evening just after the public carer abuse had started . The instant my wife had gone I started to feel so much better. Something has to give , I'm sure that at some time soon I'm going to get a break, for both our sakes.
Anyway I'd best go, so, goodnight Al by the way, today started quietly , i honestly thought there may be some remorse after the previous nights events, no, no remorse, no regrets and no memory. normal service resumed early afternoon. Shouting and screaming how she needs new clothes to take with her on holiday. I haven't somehow had the heart to tell her I haven't booked any holiday nor am I likely to anytime soon. really am going this time. Goodnight Aloh, it wasn't an infection after all that, and yes I feel a lot better today. Now really , goodnight Al

 

[Philbo]

Hi Al

You poor man - so much to deal with, it's not surprising you took a turn for the worse! I know what it's like on the dentist merry-go-round as I had something similar 6 months back prior to have a back molar out. I was ping-ponged between 111, out of hours dentist, out of hours GP etc, etc.

It is at times like this, that the "I can't afford to be ill" syndrome kicks in - where us carers often ignore our own needs, which of course we really shouldn't, but we do?

My lot is nowhere near as bad as yours but I have still got to the stage where I could do with a brief total break from the caring role. I do get 2 lots of 3 hours a week (respite visitor and dementia activity morning) and day centre on a Wednesday, but as others have said, you do find yourself rushing around to cram in all the things you need to get done.

So I have arranged for my lovely wife to go for a week's respite at the same centre where she goes for day care. I am going with friends on a weeks holiday for a family 50th birthday event at the end of August.

Maybe, as your wife is talking about clothes for her (non-existent) holiday, you could start to try and pave the way for some respite for yourself? I realise, from what you've described in your previous posts, that it would be a tall order but it sounds like you do need some well deserved rest.

Kind regards
Phil

 

[Pipeth]

Hello Al, Sorry to hear of you own health issues, it must have been a horrible episode. I have been reading your thread, it has helped me over some difficult times here, thank you for sharing you inspire others with your determined efforts to care for your wife, she is fortunate to have such a caring husband. It really sounds as though you need some care yourself, I know...easier said than done.

 

[kindred]

Hello Al, Sorry to hear of you own health issues, it must have been a horrible episode. I have been reading your thread, it has helped me over some difficult times here, thank you for sharing you inspire others with your determined efforts to care for your wife, she is fortunate to have such a caring husband. It really sounds as though you need some care yourself, I know...easier said than done.

Al, I too have read your thread and it has helped me be strong over difficult times. But what you are describing is so close to carer breakdown (which I was reported as having on my OH hospital notes). Please, please realise you are human and there is a limit to the bizarre stuff we are strong enough to handle. I used to write I MUST ENDURE 100 times each night to make myself carry on.

 

[Casbow]

Al this is too much now. If you go under your wife will be taken to a home without you having much say in it. If any say at all. You have to take a break. And very soon. Please. Either see if your daughter could stay at yours or, maybe a full time carer that can sleep over. If not ask your social worker to find somewhere that your wife can go to be looked after for a week.(At least). Just go to a hotel for a week, or B&B so you can get out and choose where you eat. I ended up calling an ambulance and/or the dementia helpline just once to often. It ended up with a dementia specialist coming to see me and talking me through the reasons my husband needed to go into a nursing home. Traumatic and miserable as it was in the end it was definitely for the best. It will never be easy. It will always be painful. You will always feel guilty even though you shouldn't. My husband is well looked after and always pleased to see me,although I'm not sure he knows I am his wife. He loves me sitting holding his hand and I can help to feed him and encourage him to drink. Your role in looking after your wife will not stop. It will just be different and much nicer once things settle down. My love to you. I know how hard it is.x

 

[campervan21]

Hope you don’t mind I follow your post, thinking of you ,

 

[kindred]

Al this is too much now. If you go under your wife will be taken to a home without you having much say in it. If any say at all. You have to take a break. And very soon. Please. Either see if your daughter could stay at yours or, maybe a full time carer that can sleep over. If not ask your social worker to find somewhere that your wife can go to be looked after for a week.(At least). Just go to a hotel for a week, or B&B so you can get out and choose where you eat. I ended up calling an ambulance and/or the dementia helpline just once to often. It ended up with a dementia specialist coming to see me and talking me through the reasons my husband needed to go into a nursing home. Traumatic and miserable as it was in the end it was definitely for the best. It will never be easy. It will always be painful. You will always feel guilty even though you shouldn't. My husband is well looked after and always pleased to see me,although I'm not sure he knows I am his wife. He loves me sitting holding his hand and I can help to feed him and encourage him to drink. Your role in looking after your wife will not stop. It will just be different and much nicer once things settle down. My love to you. I know how hard it is.x

I so agree. Actually making the decision and getting OH to a good nursing home is the big big obstacle and fortunately the view after that, while wrenching, is different, and one more of your choice. I spend 3 - 4 hours every day with my OH in his nursing home, like you, we can hold hands and I can feed him and help him to drink and take part in things. It is traumatic, but in some ways not as traumatic as what we go through on the way to this stage. Guilt comes with the territory here, we have to live with that. Thank you so much for this post, I know it is for Al, but it is helpful to all of us in this position.

 

[Casbow]

I so agree. Actually making the decision and getting OH to a good nursing home is the big big obstacle and fortunately the view after that, while wrenching, is different, and one more of your choice. I spend 3 - 4 hours every day with my OH in his nursing home, like you, we can hold hands and I can feed him and help him to drink and take part in things. It is traumatic, but in some ways not as traumatic as what we go through on the way to this stage. Guilt comes with the territory here, we have to live with that. Thank you so much for this post, I know it is for Al, but it is helpful to all of us in this position.

So pleased to help in a small way. I will forever be grateful to all the people that helped me when I was in such a difficult and sometimes dark place.xx

 

[Rolypoly]

Hi Al


Maybe, as your wife is talking about clothes for her (non-existent) holiday, you could start to try and pave the way for some respite for yourself? I realise, from what you've described in your previous posts, that it would be a tall order but it sounds like you do need some well deserved rest.

Kind regards
Phil

I agree. Could you make out that your wife is going on holiday (aka respite) . You can’t go because you are not feeling too good . That way you get time to yourself either to do as you please at home or have a few days away on your own. It would also be an insight as to whether it is time to change things at home, as in more outside care or a care home.

Glad you are feeling better and that it wasn’t an infection. What a day you had, all that going and froing, with your wife in tow. Must have been a nightmare. Take care.

 

[AL60]

Hi. Thanks for all your kind replies, they really help to inspire me to keep going. Yes, today I feel more like my old self again. No infection, some virus or other, no doubt brought on and made worse by stress . Funny thing stress isn't it. You think you're getting by, hanging on, putting up with all manner of things then wham, something like that comes along and suddenly you realise that you're not superperson, (PC gone mad for superman).
I had a visit from our social worker today. The wheels have now been put in motion to provide some respite care. It's perhaps something that should have been done earlier but look how that ended. I'll just have to put me first this time. Easier said than done I know but its going to have to happen. I'm not looking forward to it yet at the same time I am looking forward to the time out. It really is confusing. I've no doubt everything Will turn out fine in the end.
Prior to coming upstairs to turn in for the night I went outside to put some things into our recycle bin. What a night, it's like being abroad well, sort of. Warm breeze, bins bathed in soft moonlight, the crunch of a snail under my bare foot, i really should have gone out earlier in daylight. These early summer evenings are one of my favourite times of the year yet I just can't enjoy them, all the time , all I think of is how things used to be. Sitting out with a glass or two of wine making plans or just chatting about anything and everything . No more, no matter how blue the sky may be, how warm the sunshine or how like the warm night time breeze may feel, it's all for nothing. It may as well be raining. Don't worry , i get like this from time to time. I'm seriously considering booking a dentist appointment tomorrow for that extraction, just to take my mind off things. Look at the time again , i really am my own worst enemy. I always used to enjoy an early night , not any more, my wife stayed up late tonight. Nine o'clock, not that late I know but its eating away at my own 'me ' time. I know that makes me sound selfish but I also know many of you know exactly what I mean.
Earlier on today we went out, she wanted to buy some new clothes and a new suitcase to put them in. I just went with it, what harm could it do? It was a success, everything bought and back home in time for tea . Why do I keep getting a bad feeling about the respite ? Anyway, I'd best call it a day now, or night so once again , goodnight Al

 

[Casbow]

Hi. Thanks for all your kind replies, they really help to inspire me to keep going. Yes, today I feel more like my old self again. No infection, some virus or other, no doubt brought on and made worse by stress . Funny thing stress isn't it. You think you're getting by, hanging on, putting up with all manner of things then wham, something like that comes along and suddenly you realise that you're not superperson, (PC gone mad for superman).
I had a visit from our social worker today. The wheels have now been put in motion to provide some respite care. It's perhaps something that should have been done earlier but look how that ended. I'll just have to put me first this time. Easier said than done I know but its going to have to happen. I'm not looking forward to it yet at the same time I am looking forward to the time out. It really is confusing. I've no doubt everything Will turn out fine in the end.
Prior to coming upstairs to turn in for the night I went outside to put some things into our recycle bin. What a night, it's like being abroad well, sort of. Warm breeze, bins bathed in soft moonlight, the crunch of a snail under my bare foot, i really should have gone out earlier in daylight. These early summer evenings are one of my favourite times of the year yet I just can't enjoy them, all the time , all I think of is how things used to be. Sitting out with a glass or two of wine making plans or just chatting about anything and everything . No more, no matter how blue the sky may be, how warm the sunshine or how like the warm night time breeze may feel, it's all for nothing. It may as well be raining. Don't worry , i get like this from time to time. I'm seriously considering booking a dentist appointment tomorrow for that extraction, just to take my mind off things. Look at the time again , i really am my own worst enemy. I always used to enjoy an early night , not any more, my wife stayed up late tonight. Nine o'clock, not that late I know but its eating away at my own 'me ' time. I know that makes me sound selfish but I also know many of you know exactly what I mean.
Earlier on today we went out, she wanted to buy some new clothes and a new suitcase to put them in. I just went with it, what harm could it do? It was a success, everything bought and back home in time for tea . Why do I keep getting a bad feeling about the respite ? Anyway, I'd best call it a day now, or night so once again , goodnight Al

Good morning Al. Hope your day goes well. It was a very warm night. But glad to say I didn't go out and tread on snails.! Wish you a peaceful BH weekend.x

 

[AL60]

Good morning Al. Hope your day goes well. It was a very warm night. But glad to say I didn't go out and tread on snails.! Wish you a peaceful BH weekend.x

Hi. Thanks, it was a restful nights sleep, only disturbed by the sound of a heavy rain shower in the later early hours quite therapeutic really. That should really bring the snails and slugs out I'll put shoes on next time , you too have a good weekend . Al..​

 

[AL60]

Hi. What a day, it started just the same as any other. This time I was accused of losing her mobile phone yes, her mobile phone. She does have one but hasn't a clue how to use it any more. I didn't know where it was either , I'd seen her with it briefly a few days ago but not since. Anyway she had asked me to retrieve her bag from the car, so out I went with shoes on this time and there it was, in the bag. Happy days . Shortly after she gave me a piece of paper and a pen. I asked why, she replied, i want you to write down what you are supposed to be doing today as your memory is so bad. Wow. How could I possibly follow that! I wrote, handed you your mobile today 25/5/18 at 09.00. Then fastened it to the notice board. We went out for some odds and ends , I'd asked her to do a shopping list , only two items, anti perspirant and toothpaste. We weren't out too long, came back home and let her in first then went back out for the two big bags for life full shopping bags two things on the list indeed. Trapped inside the house sheltered from the rain it didn't take long for her to get fixated on something else. Once again I'd lost her mobile phone , even I found this hard to take. Look at the notice board, this morning I found it for you , you had it in your hands! No, don't remember that, you've lost it, that's your problem you're always losing things, your memory is so bad, i want my phone NOW!. Grief, she sounds more like Verruca Salt when in this mood. It was in her bag once again. Only she didn't recognise it as a phone as it didn't say phone on it. Her mobile is now in my room next to me on charge.. if I left it out for her I dread to think about who she might inadvertently call. Not long ago on checking a larger than usual bill, she'd called 45 minutes of the speaking clock. Could've been worse , at least it was the UK one. Then the phone rang. The social worker calling with news of the upcoming respite, my wife was at this point standing a few feet away with her angry face. I had to pretend I was talking to the kitchen company . I got away with it but all she could do then was go on and on and on relentlessly about how bad this company is. I was inclined to agree , but enough of her repeatedly going on just gives me an even bigger headache . Next week we should have a kitchen although there are still some missing bits, they're due to be delivered on the fourth of next month , honestly if you're thinking of having a new kitchen fi tted be careful, big expensive companies don't mean a thing, can't wait to give them that final review. I couldn't do her usual boiled potatoes tonight because of the rain , bbq, remember, so it was pizza for her tonight then a reasonably early night. That was my dayvery average. I started with the words ,what a day. Perhaps I should have said, a day in the life of .that's it for now. Hope tomorrow the weather improves, at least the gardens have been watered today, goodnight Al.