TV programmes about Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia.

[MrWobbles]

I get very concerned when we’re watching the television and an unexpected programme comes on about dementia. The most recent one was featured on The One Show. I can feel myself becoming very anxious because of the content and language used. The presenters seem to forget or not factor in, the fact that some viewers may also be sufferers of the disorder. The use of the pronoun : ‘they’ when referring to an Alzheimer’s patient, as if they’re not there, tucked away somewhere, to be pitied. Not included or considered as possible viewers. Mr Wobbles

 

[Grannie G]

I understand @MrWobbles.

I used to tense up when anything about dementia came on the television.

The only saving grace for me was my husband knew about Alzheimer`s and memory loss but he never identified with the word dementia. It meant it was a bigger problem for me than it was for him.

 

[canary]

We have to talk about it, though, @MrWobbles

We are never going to get the support that we desperately need and everyone complains is woefully lacking if dementia is never talked about and remains hidden, invisible and swept under the carpet

 

[MrWobbles]

We have to talk about it, though, @MrWobbles

We are never going to get the support that we desperately need and everyone complains is woefully lacking if dementia is never talked about and remains hidden, invisible and swept under the carpet

Thank you canary. I agree, there’s absolutely no point in ‘sweeping it under the carpet’. What we need is information, knowledge and support. It must be talked about, my point was about the manner in which it is talked about. People with illnesses, disabilities, etc., want to feel included, it’s about the use of language such that sufferers, from whatever ailment, don’t feel ‘talked about’ but part of the debate - the journey. Therefore, you don’t say, ‘they’ ‘them’ but use language that acknowledges their presence., not speak in whispers. In a way that is doing exactly what you correctly identified with, namely ‘sweeping it under the carpet’. Sensitivity not avoidance.

 

[canary]

Is it the use of the pronoun that worries you?

I'm afraid that its meaning has changed, especially with the younger generation. These days it is used as a neutral gender so that instead of saying him or her and his and hers, there is now a tendancy to say their and them which applies to either/both sexes

It is intended to be inclusive rather than "othering" people. Just another example of how language changes

 

[MrWobbles]

Is it the use of the pronoun that worries you?

I'm afraid that its meaning has changed, especially with the younger generation. These days it is used as a neutral gender so that instead of saying him or her and his and hers, there is now a tendancy to say their and them which applies to either/both sexes

It is intended to be inclusive rather than "othering" people. Just another example of how language

 

[MrWobbles]

Ah, canary, we’re singing from the same hymn sheet but, no, the pronouns don't ‘worry’ me and please don’t ‘be afraid’. I have become familiar with the way which non-binary and binary people use pronouns and find it refreshing. They are used more by younger people, as you say, and good for them. By ‘owning’ your gender, you are instinctively promoting inclusiveness.
However, there is a difference in the use of ‘they ‘them’ when talking about groups of people rather than an individual’s preference. For example, is it more inclusive to say: ‘ A person with dementia will find this gadget useful.’ or ‘They will find this gadget useful.’ ? I go with the first option because it includes me - I’m part of the discussion - part of the audience. Okay, it’s very much about context but naming the person and the disorder seems preferable. Mr Wobbles he/his

 

[sdmhred]

Ah @MrWobbles
Its a subtlety but I completely get where you are coming from. It’s not a very personable and inclusive way of speaking …I remember being furious when a GP said i was caring for my ‘demented mother’.

if you have dementia it is oftne like you can’t contribute to any decision making or be included. I hang out a lot at my mum’s care home and even in late stage that is absolutely not true.

why not drop the One Show a quick email with your reaction. As a PWD I think it would be welcomed and well received