Travelling to jamaica

[Lillyboo]

In 4 weeks time I am taking my husband to his homeland of Jamaica. Flying for probobly the last time from the u.k.
The dementia nurse says No and screwed up her face.
The GP says go..
I still don't know what stage he's in to be honest, he us 68 and I'm 58 still working full time. His sleep is deep, so deep that I have to resort to moving into the spare bedroom during the night, this is due to his loud talking and jerky movements. Lashing out at times too.
I am dreading this two week holiday instead of looking forward to it. He's not on meds because he is suffering vascular dementia. He drinks two pints of lager every night, a habit I can't get him out of.
I'm unhappy. Feel out on a limb, I'm English he is from the Caribbean.. The clubs are predominantly for the English.
Is there anyone out there who is in the same position as me?.... Just the fact that I'm lonely, so us he, but due to working full time..time is also limited for us to get out together.

 

[Jessbow]

I'd be very wary of taking anyone on a plane that 'lashes out' - maybe that is why the dementia nurse says no?

I dont think clubs are mostly for the English- have you/he tried any?

 

[karaokePete]

Hello @Lillyboo, welcome to posting on the forum.

Holidays can be problematic and I'm in the process of changing my future plans because even familiar arrangements have become difficult for my wife. The change from the home security can become distressing for a person with dementia.

If you check with the airports they may have a system for helping people with hidden disabilities. My local airport issues lanyards that staff can see and I've found going through security etc has been easier since I got one for my wife. Some airlines will also help but you have to accept whatever seat they allocate.

When at home, I wonder if any local support services would be of use to you. If you follow this link you can do a postcode check for what is available in your area
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you

 

[maryjoan]

In 4 weeks time I am taking my husband to his homeland of Jamaica. Flying for probobly the last time from the u.k.
The dementia nurse says No and screwed up her face.
The GP says go..
I still don't know what stage he's in to be honest, he us 68 and I'm 58 still working full time. His sleep is deep, so deep that I have to resort to moving into the spare bedroom during the night, this is due to his loud talking and jerky movements. Lashing out at times too.
I am dreading this two week holiday instead of looking forward to it. He's not on meds because he is suffering vascular dementia. He drinks two pints of lager every night, a habit I can't get him out of.
I'm unhappy. Feel out on a limb, I'm English he is from the Caribbean.. The clubs are predominantly for the English.
Is there anyone out there who is in the same position as me?.... Just the fact that I'm lonely, so us he, but due to working full time..time is also limited for us to get out together.

My OH also has vascular dementia - so no treatment. He stopped drinking after major surgery, but has started again. He will drink a full bottle of wine all at once, because I think he has forgotten he has drunk it - it looks that way to me.
We went away for one night about a month ago, and it will be the last time now. I cannot deal with him on holiday, when it is so hard to deal with him at home. I think you might be feeling the same.
Like you, I sleep in the spare room for the same sort of reasons - and have done for almost 3 years now - in fact, I feel as though I have turned into a housekeeper, and yes, it is a very lonely place to be.
You need to carry on working, if possible, because it keeps you in touch with the real world outside the home. I currently work from home, as I am self employed, but it is really hard, as he keeps wanting to play scrabble, or interrupts for other requests that he cannot do himself any more.
You have to have time for yourself - so you can be you. Good luck. PM me if you wish.

 

[Canadian Joanne]

I can well understand that this may be your last holiday together and his last trip home. Does he have family there who can help you? If I were you, I would research as much as I could about any help available. As @karaokePete suggested, check with both the airport and your airline for assistance. It will be a long flight, which can be a concern. I moved my mother from British Columbia to Toronto and it was a very long 5 1/2 hour flight for me. I had a mild tranquilizer on hand also. This was in 2001 so I can't remember if I used them or not. On my mother, I mean, not me. Although in retrospect my using them may have been a good idea.

@Jessbow, I read the lashing out as happening during his sleep. Yes, that might be a problem if he falls asleep on the plane but many people move a lot during sleep so I don't think that's a huge problem.

@Lillyboo one other thing I would do would be to plan ahead if you should need to leave earlier than scheduled. Try to develop a back-up emergency plan.

Last but definitely not least, try to make the most of this holiday to make happy memories for you.

 

[Lillyboo]

I'd be very wary of taking anyone on a plane that 'lashes out' - maybe that is why the dementia nurse says no?

I dont think clubs are mostly for the English- have you/he tried any?

As I said in my message, my husband does not lash out daily or whilst awake.. Only from time to time during sleep. And I prefer to take a Doctors advice over a dementia nurse if I have to be totally honest.
Oh and yes we have tried to find organisations for Caribbean people with dementia in our area , but there are non.

 

[Louise7]

What type of clubs/organisations are you looking for? My Mum's day centre was multi-cultural - both attendees and staff - and everyone got along fine, with a wide range of activities to suit all.

Posting details of your area might result in someone on here knowing of somewhere which might suit.