Travel for person with dementia

[Susiecoo]

Hi there.
My husband has dementia and is still able to get around but has recently been getting the wrong bus home & tends to stay on it until it stops. He knows the bus number he wants but is using the stop next to the one he needs. He would normally get a tram home but they’ve been doing track work so it’s been out of action where he would pick it up from.

I still have to work, being younger than my hubby & the police have had to collect him a few times as although I’ve AirTags in his coat & on his keys, the tags don’t update in real time, so I’m unable to get him myself. Friday just gone, the police said he needs someone with him every time he goes out but there’s only me & him & the private carer cancelled us due to him not being home when she arrives & so social services I guess would be the same as we have to pay but we can’t afford 24/7 care.

He basically goes out whenever he wants & I don’t know what to do now. Any help would be appreciated.

 

[Collywobbles]

The police have the power to report their concerns to Social Services. If your husband is a ‘frequent flier’ with them, it’s odd that they haven’t done so yet. If you start the conversation with SS, the next time it happens you can then refer the police to SS which might add weight to your hubby’s needs.

 

[Violet Jane]

You won't want to hear this but wandering and getting lost often herald a care home.

I assume that your job can't be done from home, in which case your husband will need supervision during the day. This could be in the form of day care (the hours might not be long enough though) or a carer. You could look into live-in care as it might work out cheaper than paying a carer by the hour if you engaged / employed him/her yourself and (s)he only worked during the week.

Couldn't the carer that you were using come before you left for work as this would ensure that your husband was still at home?

Unless your husband is obsessive about going out then it's possible that he's bored and lonely when you're at work (not a criticism) and that a befriender or companion to sit with him and take him out to places would help. One poster advertised for a male companion to take her husband to the pub a couple of times a week and this worked out very well.

I assume that you've applied for Attendance Allowance and the Council Tax discount. Remember that only your hus

If all else fails then your options are giving up work (which I would advise against) or moving your husband to a care home. Only your husband's own assets and half of any joint savings and half of his private pension would be taken into account when assessing his eligibility for financial assistance if he moved into a home or paid for care at home. Your home would be disregarded.